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Do you let your child sip alcohol? - Page 6

post #101 of 213
My kids have all tasted it. A couple like the taste, the other two didn't. I think it is important to not make it "taboo" but to teach drinking responsibly by taking alcohol and its effects seriously. I don't think a couple of sips every now and again will hurt them.
post #102 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by CtMom View Post
I think it's interesting that pregnant moms who wouldn't dream of drinking alcohol while they are pregnant wouldn't hesitate to give their kids alcohol if they ask.

Weird conundrum.

Also had the occasional small glass of wine or beer when pregnant. No regrets.
post #103 of 213
I don't drink any alcohol at all when pregnant/breastfeeding. There is just no way I'm willing to take that chance with my babies/kids. No sacrifice at all.
Still, not normal here where we live, thankfully. You'll find hardly anybody here that does.
And there is nobody that can tell you exactly how little alcohol that is needed to hurt the baby, so I don't get taking that chance at all.
I could never live with the guilt if something happened.
And being the mom of a SN kid, and one that died as a baby due to being very ill, I am so glad I know for sure that it is absolutely nothing I did, so I don't blame myself.
post #104 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by CtMom View Post
I think it's interesting that pregnant moms who wouldn't dream of drinking alcohol while they are pregnant wouldn't hesitate to give their kids alcohol if they ask.

Weird conundrum.
Yeah, weird all right. Especially since I imagine the two groups don't ACTUALLY intersect.

I have beer or wine once in a while when I'm pregnant.
post #105 of 213
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post #106 of 213
We have allowed my DSD to have a taste of wine when we were vacationing in Napa Valley. My DH works in the wine industry, and we took a 2wk trip there. A lot of it was educational for DSD learning the wine making process and developing a deeper appreciation for the product itself as more than just alcohol. For the most part, she only wanted to smell the wines, but I think there were two occasions that she actually asked to taste them. DH allowed her a small taste. She was not too fond of it on either occasion.

While in that environment, we felt it was an acceptable thing to allow her to try the wine. On a day to day basis, we do not feel it is something we need to indulge them in. We will probably feel a bit differently as they become older (teens). We will most likely allow a small glass of wine with a special dinner. We do not want it to be taboo. We want for them to have an appreciation for it in hopes that they will not abuse it.

FWIW, Texas does allow parents to serve alcohol to their children. I worked in the restaurant industry for years, and we had to know the law. We could serve a drink to a parent or spouse of a minor (proof of marriage required), and they could serve their child. The drink had to remain placed in front of the adult, though, or we would be required to remove it. I never really dealt with this, though, in all the years I served.
post #107 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Assume much? I had the occasional glass of wine while pregnant. As my mother always said, "Millions of Frenchwomen can't be wrong."
LOL, I was thinking the same thing. I had a glass of red wine with dinner tonight and I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm also married to a Frenchman and have lived in France...where I drank while pregnant as well. In moderation (as I do when not pregnant as well).
post #108 of 213
I'm from Europe, originally.

We drink from the womb onwards.

So, yea, I don't see any issues with it.

Interestingly enough, neither my partner nor I drink at all now. Even though we were raised in European cultures where wine at dinner was the norm. You got a small glass from puberty onwards. And as you grew, so did your glass, lol. And sips as a kid were fine too.
post #109 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
I'm sorry - this just makes no sense to me, so I'm feeling concerned about how a five year old could make heads or tails of it.

Your five year old asks for more than one sip of alcohol each night? You give her one but not the second. How is the first sip acceptable for kids but the second is bad? You tell her - and she can tell you - that it is a grown up drink.... so why are you giving it to her?? Doesn't that send a mixed message?

The law is 21. It is for adults. Dc is five. I would think it was better to not tell her it is for adults if you are going to give it to her. It just seems confusing - "it is for grown ups/here is your sip" ????
I second this... there seems to be some waffling here that might be confusing or sending mixed signals. OP asked how we think she's doing, and I think sending mixed signals is setting one up for unnecessary struggle...
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissinNYC View Post
IMO there's no such thing as responsible smoking, and smoking has no benefits. Alcohol is fine in moderation and has health benefits.
Alcohol in and of itself actually has not been empirically proven to have "health benefits." Of any kind. However, moderate alcohol consumption has been linked to cardiovascular health, and largely, it's believed that the European penchant for wine accounts for the link there... It's the grapes that have the anti-oxidants found to improve cardiovascular health... and one can get the same "health benefits" from grape juice.

Here is a link to a Harvard study on Alcohol and Health Benefits

There are also studies with data showing that cigarette smoking has some health benefits, too...

I'd say smoking in moderation and drinking in moderation are totally in the same family, and comparable. And I'll not be giving my child previews of either vice before she's old enough to make an informed decision about it herself. She trusts me to take care of her health and best interests... 5 is too young, IMO.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CtMom View Post
I think it's interesting that pregnant moms who wouldn't dream of drinking alcohol while they are pregnant wouldn't hesitate to give their kids alcohol if they ask.

Weird conundrum.
I think this is an interesting pov. Maybe there are some few exceptions, but for the most part, I imagine many mothers know that alcohol in even the tiniest dose, at any one of a number of crucial developmental points while in the womb, can cause FAS. And until about 36 mo, the brain is creating and destroying upwards of 50,000 synnapses a day. It seems a safe leap to make that alcohol introduced to that brain at a "wrong moment" could trigger developmental issues, and just because folks do, it or have done it, legally or not, doesn't speak to the rightness of it, or how that child will view, process, and carry forth with those decisions later.
post #110 of 213
Quote:
I think this is really just a personal/cultural decision. In Europe it is common to give children a little bit of waterd down wine with supper. I also think that making it taboo just makes the problem worse, we always want what we can't have. But if it's acceptable, then it's not so tempting.

someone mentioned that she would rather teach her kids about alchohol than letting them learn the hard way... yeah, when I was a teenager, my mom would buy us alchohol, icecream & movies & tell me to have my girlfriends over to our place. Her thoughts were that she knew we were going to go out drinking anyways, & would rather us do it at home where she knew we were safe. I am greatful to her for this & think that it was actually a rather wise tactic.

back to the cultural thing, & a little off topic here, but when I got PG, I told my MW that I was concerned I might have had some beer after conception & before realization. Her responce was, "I had the same concern when I first got PG, I was in Ireland at the time, & when I asked the OB about it, he said "A pint of guinnes a day is a good source of iron."" Culture...
Quote:
I'm from Europe, originally.

We drink from the womb onwards.

So, yea, I don't see any issues with it.

Interestingly enough, neither my partner nor I drink at all now. Even though we were raised in European cultures where wine at dinner was the norm. You got a small glass from puberty onwards. And as you grew, so did your glass, lol. And sips as a kid were fine too.
Good things to point out!
I live in England and did drink my whole last pregnancy. You are told a unit a week is fine in pregnancy.
I have decided though not to drink at all in this pregnancy. Just because. I dont see it as odd at all that I wouldnt drink in pregnancy but let DC have a sip here and there. Theres a big difference from drinking in pregnancy with a developing baby in there dependant on your body for its needs and growth and a three year old wanting a sip (lick probably is more correct term there) they will probably screw their face up with! lol
But if I was sitting here enjoying a glass of wine, and DS wanted some - I would let him have a sip. I do not think that would turn him into an alcoholic. He has done before and didnt like it so no big deal. If its something I dont want my son having, then I wont have it in the house. Makes life much easier and we are trying to live consensually here! hehe
post #111 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrennaMama View Post
It's the grapes that have the anti-oxidants found to improve cardiovascular health... and one can get the same "health benefits" from grape juice.
Yeah, and actually eating grapes!


Quote:
Originally Posted by PrennaMama View Post
I think this is an interesting pov. Maybe there are some few exceptions, but for the most part, I imagine many mothers know that alcohol in even the tiniest dose, at any one of a number of crucial developmental points while in the womb, can cause FAS. And until about 36 mo, the brain is creating and destroying upwards of 50,000 synnapses a day. It seems a safe leap to make that alcohol introduced to that brain at a "wrong moment" could trigger developmental issues, and just because folks do, it or have done it, legally or not, doesn't speak to the rightness of it, or how that child will view, process, and carry forth with those decisions later.
Exactly.
post #112 of 213
Alcohol "in the tiniest dose" does not cause FAS. The medical community doesn't know how much it takes, therefore they recommend abstaining during pregnancy, but a sip or two is not going to cause FAS. That's just silly.
post #113 of 213
Our 11 occasionally asks to taste wine. We let her have a very small taste. At five, I probably wouldn't allow it. I can see giving my kids the occasional half glass of wine as they become teenagers.

Personally, I think the present drinking age is idiotic, ineffective and hypocritical.
post #114 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Assume much? I had the occasional glass of wine while pregnant. As my mother always said, "Millions of Frenchwomen can't be wrong."
yes.
post #115 of 213
Just curious what mom's of teens think. We are a non-alcohol and non -smoking family, so not an issue. But I have a niece who had a serious problem in High School. SHe was exposed to both at early age.
post #116 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbbinsc View Post
Just curious what mom's of teens think. We are a non-alcohol and non -smoking family, so not an issue. But I have a niece who had a serious problem in High School. SHe was exposed to both at early age.

I think that's a hard one. I think it depends almost entirely upon the child. If the child is responsible enough to understand "only at home, only with mom or dad", then that's great. I would *much* rather be the one introducing them to it; maybe then they would develop a palate and appreciate goods wines and beers rather than jello shooters and budweiser.

I and one sibling would have been that sort of child. My other siblings probably would not.
post #117 of 213
I'm torn on it, since there is alcoholism in my family, but I also don't want it to be the "forbidden fruit". (Luckily I've got some time to figure it out yet, as my son is only 6 weeks old!).
My dad has homebrewed beer since I was 12, and I'd help or hang around and by that age he was okay with me having a small glass now and then. (my mom was not, however, and before 12 I think I'd had maybe a tiny sip or two in my life) As a teen I did a bit of drinking, but nothing terrible I don't think. I'm 21 now and only drink on occasion. I've got a pretty high alcohol tolerance for my small size, but still only have about 4 drinks at the most, so I guess I'd be considered a responsible drinker.
Just my own personal experience.
post #118 of 213
I don't let dd taste alcohol at this point, I think that five is way to young to start letting them sample it and get a taste for it. I will offer to let her try it when she is much older and I will get her the cheapest and nastiest tasting kind out there in order to give her a feel for how nasty it is. I will also talk to her about safe drinking in case she does drink with her friends and encourage her to call me for a ride home if she does because I think it is important to teach kids to be safe with it when they are old enough to really understand the issues around alcohol.
post #119 of 213
I just don't get why you'd trick your kids with cheap, nasty alcohol. I will always be honest with my kids - "I think you're too young to have a full glass/a sip/any/whatever, but there is nothing intrinsically bad about alcohol. It is just frequently abused. This is MY fear, and you're the one who has to deal with it. Sorry. Let's revisit this later, when you're a little older. Here's what I'm willing to do now."

My policy has always been that I will trust my child to be responsible until they prove to me that they cannot be. I agree that 5 is young to put that policy into place, but it certainly works with teens. Treating alcohol as some kind of a "gateway" substance is doing more harm than good, IMO.
post #120 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
I just don't get why you'd trick your kids with cheap, nasty alcohol. I will always be honest with my kids - "I think you're too young to have a full glass/a sip/any/whatever, but there is nothing intrinsically bad about alcohol. It is just frequently abused. This is MY fear, and you're the one who has to deal with it. Sorry. Let's revisit this later, when you're a little older. Here's what I'm willing to do now."

My policy has always been that I will trust my child to be responsible until they prove to me that they cannot be. I agree that 5 is young to put that policy into place, but it certainly works with teens. Treating alcohol as some kind of a "gateway" substance is doing more harm than good, IMO.
I would give her cheap alcohol because it tastes bad and I would rather she think it tastes so bad and she doesn't want to get hooked on it than that she think it tastes so good she wants it all the time. I am also okay with not being totally honest about some things, my mother wasn't totally honest with me about some things but I came to understand why when I became a mother and I think she will to. I also think that addiction is a big thing and I would never forgive myself if I gave her alcohol and she turned out to like it so I would go out of my way to get stuff that isn't going to taste that great, not that any of it really does anyways.

I do think that drinking alcohol can lead to alcohol addiction, I have seen it happen with two of my aunts and they didn't get hooked on it by avoiding it and disliking it. I think that treating alcohol like it is no problem and having a policy of waiting until your child is addicted to alcohol before you try to prevent addiction is a much bigger problem then thinking that if you drink alcohol a lot you may get addicted.
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