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Do you let your child sip alcohol? - Page 9

post #161 of 213
I let our dd (6 yrs) have a random sip on weekends.

My dh and I have a drink every night - on a light night, it is one glass of wine other nights it is a bottle between the two of us (so 2 glasses ish) of wine. I have no issues doing it - helps me sleep better, and unwind after a very stressful day (I am a WOHM in a time pressure job). It adds calories and expenses so we are contemplating cutting back - but not because of it is alcohol content. Excercise would be better all round - but who has time for that (I only wish I did!)

I grew up this way - my dh grew up with scotch every night in his household - all reasonable boundaries. I don't expect anything negative from a sip at the family dinner table - I think it will create responsibility. It isn't illegal in my province so no issues there.

I understand people's reluctant to alcohol if they have a history of dependency - makes sense to me.

I have a fear of dependency so I set up all these odd rules - don't drink alone, no drinking on a empty stomach and no alcohol before 6pm.
post #162 of 213
Originally Posted by Breeder View Post
I was never allowed sips of alcohol as a child and I am not nor have I ever been an alcoholic. I didn't consider it 'forbidden fruit', just something like coffee that some adults enjoyed but I thought was gross.
Yeah, me neither, and I've never been an alcoholic either.
post #163 of 213
Originally Posted by mata View Post
well, many Europeans I know do have drinking problems. I grew up in a very pro- alcohol-sipping-for-kids household, and I do think it contributed in part to bad habits later in life.....
certainly anyone of any nationality can aquire alcoholism or alcohol abuse/misuse. however my Europeon grandparents allowed my father and his brother to have sips/small glasses of wine frequently and esspresso whenever they wanted as kids, and neither my dad nor his brother ended up with alcoholism or alcohol abuse as a lifelong problem. (but they do love their esspresso and coffee!) these grandparents exhibited what i would consider to be a healthy relationship with alcohol, drinking socially or with a meal and not in excess and not ever to where it created negative consequences for them or anyone around them.

My mother on the other hand grew up in an alcoholic family, her father was a severly ill alcoholic and at least 2 out of 8 sibling aquired alcoholism and one other sibling was hit and killed by a drunk driver while he himself was also drunk, dancing in the street at age 18 . but my mother grew up healthy and not alcoholic and to this day enjoys a glass or two of wine or beer a few nights a week. my dad actually chooses to not drink any alcohol as it causes him to feel sluggish the next day at even 1/2 a glass.

I did abuse alcohol as a teenager but fortunately never aquired alcoholism and i certainly was not forbidden to try alcohol as a kid, nor was drinking forced on me, i just made choices as a young adult/teen that weren't the healthiest but i dont blame this in any way on having been allowed to try wine occaisionally as a child. also I am half Jewish and was allowed wine on Jewish holidays such as Passover.

my son has never had any interest in even trying wine so it's been a non-issue thus far, he is 7 years old. if he does want to try a bit i will let him but my husband and i don't usually have any alcohol in the house as we just don't like to drink much.
post #164 of 213
Originally Posted by RiverMamma View Post
PlayaMama, I think if I were in your shoes, I would steer clear as well. That seems the wisest thing to do given your circumstances. I think the cultural debate is based on personal reasoning. Like you said, there are American cultural things that are rediculous, and I tend to pick & choose from many cultures what resonates with and sounds reasonable to me. I don't subscribe to one culture or another, or religion for that matter. We don't have to fit into any particular box, we can reason & weigh what philosiphies suit our lives & personalities from a multitude of cultures, religions, etc... to create the best life for us as individuals, and for our families.
I think that you have chosen wisley for your life and your family.

thanks mama!! this issue is NOT easy for me and i seriously wish i could model 1 drink/ month and have alcohol not be an issue. i am concerned about the "forbidden fruit" aspect for our kids but i figure i will just explain explain explain!

nak, i especially agree with the bolded part. coming to threads like these it always surprises me the variance in what is considered reasonable. helps me to see things from a different perspective!
post #165 of 213
not really but thats because DH and I are just not drinkers the very few times we do its easy just to say not its for grown ups. We take wine with communion and of course when she takes her first she will start that as well. I also wouldnt be against allowing the single one time taste but not countinued sipping.

post #166 of 213
My kids are (practically) 6 and 3 and they both get one finger dip if e have wine or beer with dinner.
No sips unless it is a Major holiday.
My kids would never dream of drinking soda...if asked they laugh b/c they know soda is never allowed...a glass of wine however will generally get little sneaky finger in it.
post #167 of 213
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
She can't develop her palette starting at 21?
21 is too late. She'll be away at college. If the first thing she tastes is Bud Lite.... no good can come of that.

I think it would be cool for her to start a batch of mead at 11 and served it on her 21st birthday.

Many many thanks to those who posted the Alcohol Policy Information System links. It is very nice to have one's instincts backed up by law. What I'm doing is not illegal here.
post #168 of 213
Yeah, it's okay for my kids to have alcohol at my house. Which is 98% the only place they have it.

I think I was 11 the first time I had a full wine cooler? Dunno now...
post #169 of 213
Originally Posted by mytwogirls View Post
Have you ever had "raw" milk? I grew up in a rural area, live on a farm and I have NEVER had raw milk? Is it good? I would be willing to try it, I just can't FIND it anywhere!
Oh yeah. The dairy down the street sells grass-fed, raw, and no hormones. : You should try it! It's a PITA to find, though.
post #170 of 213
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
I don't think thee is anything wrong with a sip or two o even a small glass on special occasions but the constant asking would irritate me regardless of what i was drinking.
This exactly.

I allow a sip or two. That is all I will allow of soda as well though. Funnily enough, ds1 calls pop beer!
post #171 of 213
Originally Posted by Masel View Post
21 is too late. She'll be away at college. If the first thing she tastes is Bud Lite.... no good can come of that.


I feel like I have a heavy responsibility to teach my kids healthy drinking habits as they have alcoholism on their dad's side of the family. So I do drink with them around and let them know there are responsible healthy drinking habits (by modelling and explaining) and I do allow them sips. I don't want it to appear taboo. I want them to be able to tell me if they start drinking when they're older and to be honest with me. That way I can guide them a little and keep an eye on their safety and just generally know what's up with them. So I'm not going to model dishonesty and I'm not going to attach a bunch of shame to drinking or the chances of them telling me if they do start will be slim to none.
post #172 of 213
Anyone hear on CBC radio today about a study that shows the earlier kids are exposed to alcohol the less likely they are to develop drinking problems as adults?
I missed much of it but I heard something about adding a teaspoon of wine to their water.....?
post #173 of 213
Alcohol is poison- I wouldn't voluntarily put that into my child's body. I drank as a young adult and it made me do things I regret and made me depressed (one sip is all it takes- depression runs strong in our family).
post #174 of 213
Originally Posted by BaBaBa View Post
Anyone hear on CBC radio today about a study that shows the earlier kids are exposed to alcohol the less likely they are to develop drinking problems as adults?
I missed much of it but I heard something about adding a teaspoon of wine to their water.....?
I only heard a snip of it too. Darn!
post #175 of 213
My guys haven't had a taste. We generally don't drink, and when we find ourselves doing so, the kids are often in bed or we're out at a dinner alone. My 3 year old has never really asked to taste my drinks other than water/juice/milk. It's not taboo, but it's pretty much a non-issue simply because we don't drink much.
post #176 of 213
Originally Posted by mytwogirls View Post
Have you ever had "raw" milk? I grew up in a rural area, live on a farm and I have NEVER had raw milk? Is it good? I would be willing to try it, I just can't FIND it anywhere!
Yes! it is wonderful! I can handel raw milk just fine, but not regular store bought milk. I have goats, so that's how I get my own raw goat milk, but I didn't milk this year because I kidded around the same time my goats did! Anyways, there is a raw milk share in our reigon, I used to live by them & work for them, now though I just buy from them. Oh, & raw cow works just as well for me as the goat. I don't know how to tell you to find a milk share in your area, I know they are arround though. This one little farm delivers milk as far south as Santa Fe, NM to as far north as Aspen , CO. Maby just start asking around.
post #177 of 213
Responding first to give my gut answer, then I'm going back to read responses. I don't see much harm in a child tasting beer or wine (or like the 1/4 inch of champagne I was allowed on New Years Eve, I also loved to dip my tongue in Creme de Mint...wouldn't touch that stuff now, but it was the HUGEST treat as a kid.)

With mine, though, the answer is no. My kids have huge mouths and the last thing I need is them announcing "We drank WINE last night with Mommy!!" to their Montessori class. : Seriously, though, that stuff taken out of context can really raise some eyebrows!
post #178 of 213
I will definitely let my DS have a sip of my wine or whatever when he is old enough to ask. I think that it is important that it not be made into something super cool and forbidden. It is also NOT illegal for a parent to serve their own child alcohol in the privacy of their own home in any state I have ever lived in (five ATM ).

On the other hand, the thing that bothered me about the OP was the frequency. In fact, she herself seems to be uncomfortable with it as well. I don't think (at her child's age) I would be OK with it more than a few times a month at the most. Of course, it would depend on the size of the sips, etc. I really liked the idea of a special glass or special drink until they were old enough to really know the difference. I know my son mostly just likes drinking out of my cup... at least I drink a lot more water, now!

I think comparing giving your child alcohol to giving them drugs or cigarettes is kind of out there since they are obviously illegal and could get your children taken away. Obviously, there are some states where it is a problem, and I wouldn't give them alcohol there since it would never be worth the risk. Just my opinion.
post #179 of 213
Wow - great thread. I actually looked it up because I gave my DS a tsp of brandy in his apple cider before bed tonight because he has a cold. I was curious whether that was legal or what a safe amount was to give a small child. I am relieved to know that it is not illegal in my state for a parent to make this decision themselves. I did grow up with an alcoholic mother who obviously did not model good choices in this area. My father, on the other hand, was (and still is) a bartender. Yet, he modeled responsible drinking to me. I remember drinking my first small glass of wine at age three. I have never been drunk, but I do drink wine occasionally. I agree with those who have said that alcoholism and drug addiction go deeper than allowing a child a sip of wine. IMHO, it is safer to take away the taboo aspect and to teach children responsibility. In reality, both of my parents taught me a lesson. My mother taught me what not to do in this area, and my father taught me how to drink responsibly.
post #180 of 213
Don't know what I'd do if we drank alcohol w/regards to kids & sipping.
We don't drink (never acquired the taste, I guess), so

The amt. of alcohol you describe drinking & sharing with your child sounds like a lot to me, but then, like I said, we don't drink alcohol at all, no one in our family does, other than the occasional drink while out to dinner, and we're Americans, so drinking daily isn't exactly the norm, I guess... maybe my gauge to norm is slightly skewed.

If it's helpful at all, I let my DD & DS sip my coffee & tea when they ask. I've never called them "adult" drinks... but I do tell them that they have caffeine in them, which isn't good for childrens' growing bodies. And I do say no thanks to sharing after the first sip, if they ask again. And if DD or DS start asking routinely/frequently, I will just redirect them to their own drink.

Maybe instead of "adult drink" you address the aspect of alcohol not being good for growing kids bodies, that might help reduce the asking? Do you provide her with a separate special drink when you're drinking?

I think that alcohol CAN be a big problem when used incorrectly. I do agree somewhat with the forbidden fruit line of thinking. But I can't completely agree... because I don't see that by us NOT drinking, that our kids are going to somehow run out & desperately try alcohol as soon as they possibly can. It's not that we're KEEPING it from them, its just not part of our daily lives. I don't think things need to be introduced in order to acheive restraint. I think explaination & disclosure is key. Being honest & up front that alcohol CAN be addicting and CAN be dangerous, that it should NEVER be drank before driving a car, but that it can also be enjoyable in the right circumstances is the best way.
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