I second this... there seems to be some waffling here that might be confusing or sending mixed signals. OP asked how we think she's doing, and I think sending mixed signals is setting one up for unnecessary struggle...
Alcohol in and of itself actually has not been empirically proven to have "health benefits." Of any kind.
However, moderate alcohol consumption has been linked to cardiovascular health, and largely, it's believed that the European penchant for wine accounts for the link there... It's the grapes that have the anti-oxidants found to improve cardiovascular health... and one can get the same "health benefits" from grape juice.
Here is a link to a Harvard study on Alcohol and Health Benefits
There are also studies with data showing that cigarette smoking has some health benefits, too...
I'd say smoking in moderation and drinking in moderation are totally in the same family, and comparable. And I'll not be giving my child previews of either vice before she's old enough to make an informed decision about it herself. She trusts me to take care of her health and best interests... 5 is too young, IMO.
I think this is an interesting pov. Maybe there are some few exceptions, but for the most part, I imagine many mothers know that alcohol in even the tiniest dose, at any one of a number of crucial developmental points while in the womb, can cause FAS. And until about 36 mo, the brain is creating and destroying upwards of 50,000 synnapses a day. It seems a safe leap to make that alcohol introduced to that brain at a "wrong moment" could trigger developmental issues, and just because folks do
, it or have done it, legally or not, doesn't speak to the rightness of it, or how that child will view, process, and carry forth with those decisions later.