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Do you let your child sip alcohol? - Page 4

post #61 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post

I do think it is confusing - the illegal aspect. How do you explain that to kids?

Because the law doesn't always operate in a way that is mindful of what's best/healthy for us and our families.
post #62 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
how can I find out which states?
I would google something along the lines of "<state> underage consumption law" and see what comes up.

The way I explained the legalities to my two is that, as their parent, I get to make a lot of decisions with regard to how they are raised. So does their Dad. No one else does, except for some very specific areas such as neglect or abuse. So, while *I* can allow them to have a drink at home, their friend's parents cannot. Nor can I allow their friend to have a drink here. Not until they are legally of age. Neither of my kids found that at all confusing.
post #63 of 213
ITA with mtiger. I know that I'm allowed to give my child a small drink for Shabbos.

:

Ok, here it is:

Quote:
Some States provide an exception when alcoholic beverages are furnished to a minor by a parent/guardian or spouse. Some States specify that the spouse must be of legal age, while others do not.
In some of these States, the exception for family members applies only if the furnishing occurs in a specified location, e.g., all private locations, private residences only, or in the home of a parent or guardian only. No State has an exception for furnishing on private property by anyone other than a family member.

Some States also allow exceptions for educational purposes (e.g., students in culinary schools), religious purposes (sacramental use of alcoholic beverages), or medical purposes.
Found here.
post #64 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
most of the alcoholics i know cant stand the taste of alcohol - esp the cheap stuff they can afford to drink. those who do like the taste of alcohol - like a good wine or a good whiskey drink it reverently rather than just down it.
I have not seen this to be true. I have never seen any evidence to support this, so I would not use this to justify the decision.

My dd is only one, so no alcohol yet of course. I think I might be okay with an occasional tiny sip to satisfy curiousity about the taste, although I haven't decided for sure yet - it is illegal so that leans me towards no. But every night at the age of 5? Nope, definitely not. No way.
post #65 of 213
The only thing that concerns me about the OP's post is the frequency. Occasional sips are one thing, this is several times a week. I would restrict my own drinking in this situation or refuse most requests for sips.

I was given sips in my teens, and as a late teen got my own 1/2 glass of wine with Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, or other special occasions. (We were in a state where that was legal, btw.) I continue to drink in moderation (weekly or less.)

We do weekly Communion with wine. Our children will grow up having that weekly tasting, if nothing else.

It frightens and angers me that the government in any state thinks it has the right to say you as a parent can't give your own child in your own home 1/8 tsp of an alcoholic beverage. :
post #66 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnatty View Post
It frightens and angers me that the government in any state thinks it has the right to say you as a parent can't give your own child in your own home 1/8 tsp of an alcoholic beverage. :
I strongly disagree, I think it's the only right thing to do, and I'm glad we live in a country where you can't give your kids alcohol at all.
18 years for wine/beer and 20 years for liquer.

It frightens and angers me that some parents thinks that it's ok to give small kids alcohol. If it was legal here, I'd never even concider it until they where at least in their late teens.
post #67 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaBaBa View Post
Totally fine.

Alcoholism isn't caused by early exposure to alcohol. If that were true all of Europe would be alcoholics.

I'd give DD a sip of wine before I ever gave her a sip of a soft drink or fruit drink. YKWIM?
Exactly.
post #68 of 213
What about rescue remedy, cold medicines, mouthwashes and various other preparations?

what about other drugs? benedryl is quite common and certainly more potent than alcohol

at what point does my raw cider become not okay? what about kombocha? I can't even drink that stuff because it makes me feel too funny, but I can drink a beer just fine

ETA- not baiting, I really don't know where the line could be drawn
post #69 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixiekisses View Post
I strongly disagree, I think it's the only right thing to do, and I'm glad we live in a country where you can't give your kids alcohol at all.
18 years for wine/beer and 20 years for liquer.

It frightens and angers me that some parents thinks that it's ok to give small kids alcohol. If it was legal here, I'd never even concider it until they where at least in their late teens.
Are there exceptions in your country for religious purposes? Because if there aren't - THAT would frighten me more.
post #70 of 213
I've known alcoholics that grew up in dry homes and in drinking ones and vice versa. In fact, I know more people who are not drinkers because they grew up in drinking homes.

I don't believe it's related to having sips as a child. It's mostly a genetic susceptability IMO. There's just people who have it and can't stop/can't control it and other people who drink what they want and can take it or leave it.

DH brews beer and makes apple wines and ciders and we'll allow DD to taste if she wants.

I think I have a pretty good handle on what to look for and would certainly pay attention for any signs in my daughter when she's older.
post #71 of 213
This is all very intersting.
DD has never asked so it has not come up for us. I would tend to think that I would let her try a sip -- but if she liked it and wanted it all the time -- I am not sure what I would do..
post #72 of 213
EnviroKid began receiving Communion shortly after his third birthday, so he gets a sip of half-strength wine at every church service, typically once or twice a week. I don't drink at all other than that, and EnviroDaddy rarely drinks, so the issue of whether to let the kid have a sip just hasn't come up.

However, we do consume a lot of caffeine. At first we took the "this is a grown-up drink" approach. However, EnviroKid began to notice that other kids--generally older than himself, but still recognizably kids--sometimes are drinking Coke or iced tea. We explained that it's important to moderate the use of caffeine and young children should have none at all. He's never asked to try coffee, but when I have iced tea or Coke (which is not very often, just at picnics and such) he wants lots of "tastes" and I sometimes have stopped the annoyance by giving him a small cup and saying that's how much he can have--I think there was only one time he actually finished it. We've talked about how caffeine makes people jumpy and can cause trouble sleeping. I think he's making a special effort to appear non-jumpy and go to sleep easily after being allowed caffeine.

OP, I think you're doing the right thing in refusing a second sip. I think that making a special drink just for your daughter, at the time when you and your husband are having drinks, might help to satisfy her craving for something special. That worked well for us with caffeine: Last winter EnviroKid kept asking for tea and felt slighted by being allowed to choose from only a subset of our teas (the herbal ones), but then he picked up a box of raspberry tea in the store and said, "This tea is only for kids." I agreed to that, and he's now happy with his special tea.

ETA: EnviroDaddy's family is Jewish, and we go to their seder every year. The adults drink wine, but EnviroKid drinks grape juice of a brand that comes in a smallish, fancy bottle. He really likes that.
post #73 of 213
I was allowed sips occasionally when I was young. DS is too young at the moment to even ask, but an occasional sip here and there when he's older is fine with me.
post #74 of 213
I read the title and was thining whiskey or something like that but a sip of wine would be ok I would not do it as I don't drink even that much but as long as it isn't like in excess I see no prblem and like not hard hard liquor
post #75 of 213
Although we allow the kids wine as part of a religious ritual, I want to clarify that if we weren't Jewish I would still allow them to have a sip of wine once a week if they wanted. My kids know very well that legally they aren't allowed to drink a whole glass of wine or any full drink until they are 21. There is a big difference imo between a tiny sip and a full-on drink.

If I came from a family with a history of alcoholism I might feel very differently. But my family modeled responsible drinking as I was growing up - a glass of wine with dinner, champagne on special occasions - and we kids were always allowed sips if we wanted. I had no problems with alcohol as a teen or young adult, didn't see it as this huge big deal that I had to experiment with. In fact, it wasn't till I was in my 30s that I started drinking wine with any regularity.

I'm with whoever said that they are more comfortable giving a sip of wine than a can of pop. I don't want to make alcohol the forbidden fruit.
post #76 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barefoot Farmer View Post
...I'm not exactly sure how to raise a "responsible drinker."....
The same way you teach them to be responsible about anything. You teach them that you don't do X just to fit in. You teach them how to make wise choices. You teach them that, aside from healthy foods, too much of anything is bad for you. I believe that responsible drinking is something you learn/teach when the child and his/her friends begin showing an interest in drinking.

On that note, it sounds like you've become uneasy about your decision to allow her to start sipping in the first place. If you want another alternative besides just suddenly saying no; try mixing a hard drink like something vodka based and strong (you don't necessarily have to drink it, just pretend you are) and let her ask for and get a sip of that a couple times - I bet she stops asking.
post #77 of 213
Well, I come from a family of alcoholics and addicts, and I allow my little one to have sips, and on holidays her own teeeeny cup of Manischewitz.

Not a one of those addicts started drinking/using because they "liked the taste" -- they did so because of their host of emotional issues coupled with a genetic predilection for addiction. Growing up, I did NOT see responsible drinking, and so when I got older I had NO model for how to do it. (Eventually I figured it out.)

But In our house, wine and beer are things you have at holidays, with meals, in the bosom of your family.

Also,

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissinNYC View Post
IMO there's no such thing as responsible smoking, and smoking has no benefits. Alcohol is fine in moderation and has health benefits.
that
post #78 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Masel View Post
I've let my daughter have a drop of beer or wine off of my finger. My DD comes from a long line of homebrewers. I want her to learn to respect the process and to develop her palette.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
It just blows my mind as I don't even let my kids drink pop.... although I'd give them a hundred pops before a sip of alcohol.



Quote:
Originally Posted by MissinNYC View Post
IMO there's no such thing as responsible smoking, and smoking has no benefits. Alcohol is fine in moderation and has health benefits.
:


Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
Because the law doesn't always operate in a way that is mindful of what's best/healthy for us and our families.


You can be given a gun and sent of to war to kill before you can legally have a drink of beer. Explain that to your kids.

I understand people with alcoholism in the family to be afraid of alcohol but there also seems to be a lot of unjustified fear, paranoia and misinformation about alcohol.

We are talking about sips here and not about getting drunk or even drinks. Sips.
post #79 of 213
I found this info for people wondering what their state says.
post #80 of 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
Good point! Why make smoking "forbidden fruit"? Do the parents who give their kids a sip of their drinks also let them have a puff of a cigarette?
I just don't see this as the same thing at all. I can enjoy the occassional glass of wine without developing a habit (not true for everyone, I know, but it is for most), disrupting those around me, or significantly impacting my health. None of which can be said for smoking.

That said, if I smoked, and particularly if I smoked around my children, I think I would have a hard time defending why it was okay for me but not for them. So in that circumstance, yes, I suppose I would let them try a "puff" if they wanted it. That's a pretty big "if" though. My mum smoked when I was a child and I found it utterly repulsive. I have never had any desire to try it first hand.

Easier not to get into that position in the first place. Which brings me back to the OP: I think if I were drinking enough that I was concerned that my child was getting too many "sips" then it would be time to re-examine my own consumption habits.

Quote:
I do think it is confusing - the illegal aspect. How do you explain that to kids?
It's only confusing if kids are taught to blindly follow "the rules", rather than understanding and appreciating the reasons behind them.

Once I was driving a car with my 2 year old and my mother. My daughter was encouraging me to break some traffic law (can't remember the details, probably she was telling me to "go!" through a red light). My mother piped up with "you don't want the policeman to give mummy a ticket, do you?" I was appalled. First, because it teaches my child that police officers are to be feared, and second, because it suggests that the only (or best) reason to stop at a red light is fear of being ticketed. Fear of being ticketed has very, very little to do with my reasons for obeying traffic signals.

I don't want to teach my kids to blindly follow rules, whether they are my rules or someone else's.
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