Its really tricky for me. I often include Sierra (she died 6 1/2 years ago) and I technically have 2 step-daughters. Matt has a 19 year old daughter, she lives with her mom in Maryland and I have never even met or talked to her (she will text us on occasion to let us know she is alive) We paid for half of her lap-top for her birthday and the kids made cards for her, would love to have a relationship, but once a year visits growing up just didn't do that for her and dh (he did make each and every child support payment though).
Usually I say 3 without making distinction. Hate this conversation with people
random person: Are they all yours?
R.P.: Wow, how old are they?
Me: 5 1/2, 3 and 3
R.P.: Oh, so they're twins?
Me: No, they are 9 weeks apart.
This is usually met by confused or blank stares as we smile sweetly and walk away eager to return to our own day
However, one lady just kept pushing and my 5 year old let her have it. After having the above conversation the lady continued
Rude lady: Well then they can't both be yours, thats impossible. (because of course no one can adopt children close in age either) Which ones are yours?
Maia to the rude lady: You know, that's a really poopy question. We are a family, what do you want mommy to say? How about "These two are mine (gesturing to herself and Sage) that one tags along because I married her dad (gesturing to Madison)."
Rude Lady: Harummphhhhh (and storms off)