Was I over-reacting?

[arismom1029]

The what should I have done thread had me thinking.

When I was 6 weeks pp I took my pump back to the lactation consultants I rented it from (the hospital where my son had been in the NICU, it took us that long to get exclusively nursing, I was so proud) I forgot to take the car adaptor back, so I took it back the next week. The hospital is a one and a half hour plus drive from my house, and my son was NOT particularly effective at nursing yet, we were nursing ALL THE TIME. So when I was in the office, because he was so hungry and upset, I said to the LC, "I'm just going to finish nursing him before I leave."

Now granted the office was very small, but I had to wait to talk to her and give back the cord because she was on the phone. I was in the middle of nursing him. She looked down at me, and said "I'm sorry, I can't offer you the privacy you NEED. There are people who come in and out of this office. Granted my son at that point was only about six or seven pounds, and we weren't super discreet, but I felt like if anyone would have accepted me nursing my son, it would have been her. I wouldn't even have been upset if she had said something like, this office is very small, I think it's great you're nursing, here's somewhere you might be more comfortable. Instead, she basically told me I couldn't finish nursing my son. I didn't know what to say. I actually unlatched him and left. I felt so uncomfortable I almost cried. I had an appt at the birth center I was supposed to give birth at, so I just nursed there, but my son was crying the whole drive there (it's fifteen minutes from the hospital I was at).

Was I over-reacting in being so upset? I mean, I understand it was the only chair at the front of that office, but my son needed to eat. then. I feel bad for leaving without saying anything now. :

[**Cat**]

OMG!!!!

I would report her. Seriously, that's just WRONG! From a LACTATION CONSULTANT?! :

[arismom1029]

not just an LC, she was one of the consultants at a major hospital, with a major, I believe level three nicu. We aren't talking a back water hospital. unfortunately I don't know which consultant it was, I remember her face but not her name.

[Jesskathand]

You did not overreact!
That's horrible!

[polykow]

That is ridiculous. I used to work at a local hospital as a CLC and our office was tiny, very tiny. We always did all we could for any nursing moms. If they needed the privacy to nurse we locked the door and put a sign outside for others to wait. It did not matter why they came to the office for.
She should be at least reprimended. I would definetely write a letter to the management.

[jocelyndale]

Originally Posted by arismom1029

not just an LC, she was one of the consultants at a major hospital, with a major, I believe level three nicu. We aren't talking a back water hospital. unfortunately I don't know which consultant it was, I remember her face but not her name.

Fortunately, timesheets have that information. Give the time and date and the highers ups can figure it out. They'll call you if they need a physical description.

[HarperRose]

I'd report her. What a horribly mean thing to do.

[mama2annabelle]

Just another point of view...could it be possible that you may have mistaken her intent with that statement? As a mom of 3, soon to be 4, I remember quite clearly the emotional rollercoaster I was in the early weeks...especially after my son with whom I had nursing difficulties. I know many times someone would say something that I completely took the wrong way. Also, could it be possible that she sensed your discomfort and was just apologizing for the lack of better facilities?
Of course, I wasn't there with you and don't know your particular experience...just putting that possibility out there.

[arismom1029]

Originally Posted by mama2annabelle

Just another point of view...could it be possible that you may have mistaken her intent with that statement? As a mom of 3, soon to be 4, I remember quite clearly the emotional rollercoaster I was in the early weeks...especially after my son with whom I had nursing difficulties. I know many times someone would say something that I completely took the wrong way. Also, could it be possible that she sensed your discomfort and was just apologizing for the lack of better facilities?
Of course, I wasn't there with you and don't know your particular experience...just putting that possibility out there.

I considered this, which is why I haven't done anything up until now. I wasn't uncomfortable about nursing, or nursing there, and my son at that point was very happily and loudly nursing. I think that a lot of what upset me wasn't *what* was said, but *how* it was said, with the gesture toward the door as if asking me to go. Even if her concern was there not being room or it not being private (and believe me, popping it out there for all to see doesn't bother me in the least, lol, especially in a hospital...). I thought about the fact that I may have been over-reacting, and at my appt at the birth center I talked to my midwife about it, about what she said, how she said it, what my reaction and feelings were, and she didn't feel that I was over-reacting at that time. (neither did my mom, and my mom would have laid it out straight and on the table if she did, she does it ALL the time, lol).

I guess the reason I didn't say anything is because I was worried I was over-reacting. That the conversation would have been casual enough the LC may not even have remembered it, to say no, this is what I meant. The reason it still bothers me is: what if she did mean it the way I took it? What if she said something like that to someone else, who's confidence in NIP wasn't as great as mine? As it is, it has taken up until recently for me to regain my confidence in NIPing. It has been months of working up to NIPing again. I don't know how much something like that would affect a woman who didn't have the confidence in NIPing that I had previous to that, kwim? That is what bothers me most about the exchange, to be honest.