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Tell me the most annoying advice or comment you've received! - Page 5

post #81 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by merrybee View Post
While changing my daughter- diaper open, floral dress with crinoline on, pink bow (albeit almost bald) - stranger inquires "How old is your son?"
this happened to my sister with my nephew (not her kid, my dh's brothers kid) we were out to lunch, she went to change him, and while he was diaperless on the changing table some lady told her what a beautiful little girl he was
post #82 of 136
My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius... and BTW smacking them for these things isn't not allowing its jsut reacting to it in as much inmaturty as the 3 year old having the tantrumm except they are well 3....

Deanna
post #83 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
From a doc earlier this week: "She needs to learn it's not all about her."

Well, she's two months old, so yeah it pretty much is all about her. And my baby sleeping peacefully in the sling doesn't affect my appointment with him at all, since it was just a quick consult in his office.
We got this when my SD was two, and we asked my partner's stepmother if she could please move the party from the kitchen (adjacent to the guest room) into the rec room (one room over, with a view of the lake and a pool table), so we could get SD to sleep.

(About 30 seconds too late, I realized I could have said "yeah, that's a lesson many adults don't even know" and gotten away with it.)


My partner got a lot of comments about biking with SD in the trailer. "That's just a disaster waiting to happen."
post #84 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius... and BTW smacking them for these things isn't not allowing its jsut reacting to it in as much inmaturty as the 3 year old having the tantrumm except they are well 3....

Deanna


I agree. I do NOT smack Johannes for acting out. That is why I posted that as part of the annoying advice in this thread. Isn't that what the OP asked for? Well, being told to smack a child is, quite frankly, very annoying, hence the reason for me even posting that at all. It isn't right to do.

You say you WOULDN't let your child act like mine does. Can you please tell me what YOU'D do? I'm not being snarky, I'm asking. I did, at one point ask for more tips on gentle discipline, and I've been applying everything I've learned. It helps somewhat, but he is still him, which doesn't mean I'm going to stop GD, as it is a much better approach. I've never hit him, and I've never disciplined for tantrums, as he should be allowed to express himself. But, I did have an old-fashioned outlook on parenting, as that is how I was raised. I honestly feel GD is much better. But, what would you suggest. Telling him "No" just pisses him off more. He'll scream curses and the like and become extremely violent--hair pulling, hitting, and throwing things to name a few. No consequences work. I find that most of the time, redirecting is helpful for now, as that is how I try to ease him away from doing things. I rarely say "no" now. I try to be creative in achieving what he needs to do but without pissing him off. You may ask how do I deal with it currently? My very very very strong faith in Jehovah God. With faith, people can tollerate way beyond the normal threshold, and I can tollerate quite a bit considering all I've been through in life. I have tons and tons of patience. Not too much makes me mad except the abuse of another person or taking advantage of the weak. Oh yes, I forgot, I don't have too much pity for stupidity.

To answer your other question, no, I cannot prevent every whine. I can't even prevent him from yelling and screaming at times, which is why I keep the inhaler on hand in case it is too much for him. (This is no exhageration, either. Just do some research on children who have heart conditions and severe health issues that could be made worse by becoming worked up. This happens with children with severe asthma also, such as Johannes.) I DO, however, do all that I can to make sure he doesn't cry to the point that he gets worked up. And I never claimed to stop EVERY SINGLE whine. If you reread my post, you'd see that I said that I TRIED. When someone says they have TRIED, it doesn't imply that they are successful one hundred percent of the time. Does that make since? Sorry I wasn't clear enough. Oh, how I WISH I could prevent EVERY whine. Everyone mom does. But then, he is only a tot, and that is appropriate. I just hate seeing him upset, which is why I wish I could stop it.

IF you'd like to talk so we can exchange ideas, perhaps, we should take it to private messaging. I don't want to derail this thread. If you REALLY DO have something constructive that will work, I'm willing to hear it. And, I can tell you what I'm doing currently, and maybe you could offer some feedback. Talk to ya soon.
post #85 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by willthiswork View Post
Ok, I've never told anyone they should give babies water.....but I thought you should!! Are you talking about tiny babies or ones older than say 6 months (random age chosen there!)
Older babies past 6 months can be given water to practice with drinking out of a cup but giving water to an infant can cause problems with their enzyms (if that is the right word) so water should only be given in formula not by itself that young.
post #86 of 136
Deer Hunter,
I'm a little confused by your post, I don't see at all where Octobermom is accusing you of smacking your child or anything like that. It seems to me as if she's saying that the most annoying comment she's had is when she is told by someone that they wouldn't allow their kid to act that way. And then the next part would be the sarcastic question that goes through her head when people say something like that..I don't see how she was addressing you specifically at all. Unless there is some back conversation that i am not aware of?
post #87 of 136
DeerHunter, she wasn't saying that she wouldn't allow her child to act the way your child acts. She's saying that the most annoying comment she hears is "I'll never allow my child to act that way," which is usually said when a childless person sees a "questionable" action in a young child. Chill, sweetie, she's not attacking you.
post #88 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deer Hunter View Post
I agree. I do NOT smack Johannes for acting out. That is why I posted that as part of the annoying advice in this thread. Isn't that what the OP asked for? Well, being told to smack a child is, quite frankly, very annoying, hence the reason for me even posting that at all. It isn't right to do.

You say you WOULDN't let your child act like mine does. Can you please tell me what YOU'D do? I'm not being snarky, I'm asking. I did, at one point ask for more tips on gentle discipline, and I've been applying everything I've learned. It helps somewhat, but he is still him, which doesn't mean I'm going to stop GD, as it is a much better approach. I've never hit him, and I've never disciplined for tantrums, as he should be allowed to express himself. But, I did have an old-fashioned outlook on parenting, as that is how I was raised. I honestly feel GD is much better. But, what would you suggest. Telling him "No" just pisses him off more. He'll scream curses and the like and become extremely violent--hair pulling, hitting, and throwing things to name a few. No consequences work. I find that most of the time, redirecting is helpful for now, as that is how I try to ease him away from doing things. I rarely say "no" now. I try to be creative in achieving what he needs to do but without pissing him off. You may ask how do I deal with it currently? My very very very strong faith in Jehovah God. With faith, people can tollerate way beyond the normal threshold, and I can tollerate quite a bit considering all I've been through in life. I have tons and tons of patience. Not too much makes me mad except the abuse of another person or taking advantage of the weak. Oh yes, I forgot, I don't have too much pity for stupidity.

To answer your other question, no, I cannot prevent every whine. I can't even prevent him from yelling and screaming at times, which is why I keep the inhaler on hand in case it is too much for him. (This is no exhageration, either. Just do some research on children who have heart conditions and severe health issues that could be made worse by becoming worked up. This happens with children with severe asthma also, such as Johannes.) I DO, however, do all that I can to make sure he doesn't cry to the point that he gets worked up. And I never claimed to stop EVERY SINGLE whine. If you reread my post, you'd see that I said that I TRIED. When someone says they have TRIED, it doesn't imply that they are successful one hundred percent of the time. Does that make since? Sorry I wasn't clear enough. Oh, how I WISH I could prevent EVERY whine. Everyone mom does. But then, he is only a tot, and that is appropriate. I just hate seeing him upset, which is why I wish I could stop it.

IF you'd like to talk so we can exchange ideas, perhaps, we should take it to private messaging. I don't want to derail this thread. If you REALLY DO have something constructive that will work, I'm willing to hear it. And, I can tell you what I'm doing currently, and maybe you could offer some feedback. Talk to ya soon.
A bit confused here when she said
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom
My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius... and BTW smacking them for these things isn't not allowing its jsut reacting to it in as much inmaturty as the 3 year old having the tantrumm except they are well 3....

Deanna
I dont think she was talking about you I understood it to mean the thing that bugged her the most was when that was said to her. Forgive me if I am totally out in left field and I am the one who misunderstood.
post #89 of 136
This isn't so much specific advice, but I hate when people without kids read a book or an article and think they know the best way to raise your child. Obviously, if you haven't been there you just don't know, even if you think you do. All the research in the world doesn't prepare you for being a parent.
post #90 of 136
DD was a day old, and my FIL came to visit. He told me "She's had enough of *that* by now (meaning BFing), you should switch to formula." She wasn't even 24 hours old, and she hadn't even HAD any of *that* yet - my milk didn't even come in for 4 more days!

Lots of worry about the cats killing the baby. She's 2, we should be far more worried about DD killing the cats!

I'm 6 months PG, and people seem to think I shouldn't be carrying 5 pounds worth of whatever - never mind the 30 pound toddler I tote around all day, no one's worried about that!

My mother insists you have to drink milk to make milk. And no, other dairy sources don't count at all, according to her.

I just got the "Gee, isn't she cold?" from a stranger - I was in short sleeves and comfortable, so DD (2 years old and perfectly capable of telling if she's cold) in a long sleeve thermal shirt was fine.

Got a lot of "Have to show 'em who's boss" type comments early on regarding sleep. Uh, no, she's a nursling and she's a crappy sleeper. I wouldn't WANT her sleeping 10+ hours at night at 2 weeks old, thanks! (And yes, people started asking at 2 weeks old if she slept through the night.) I always ask "Do *you* sleep 8 hours straight through?" No one does!

Up until about 9 months, DD, dressed head to toe in pink, would be mistaken for a boy.

From several in DH's family during my first PG "May your first child be a boy child" Uh, and what's wrong with girls, exactly? Cause, I'm female, and I have just as much value as a male, thanks!

Since DD was indeed a girl, I'm now getting "Maybe this time, your DH will get a boy!" Uhm, well, it's a girl, and DH is THRILLED with that, thanks.
post #91 of 136
Deer Hunter, seriously, NO ONE said anything in this thread about your child. She happened to be the next poster in the thread and said that the one peice of "advice" that comes to her is other people telling her they "wouldn't allow their child to behave" in whatever way HER child was behaving.

Really. It wasn't posted in reference to you or your child.
post #92 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post
DeerHunter, she wasn't saying that she wouldn't allow her child to act the way your child acts. She's saying that the most annoying comment she hears is "I'll never allow my child to act that way," which is usually said when a childless person sees a "questionable" action in a young child. Chill, sweetie, she's not attacking you.


I'm so sorry. It just seemed to fit. Here is why:

I mentioned that my child can act crazy. She said, "I wouldn't allow my child to act that way."

I mentioned that I don't spank. She mentioned that also.

I mentioned that I try to stop him, as much as possible, from crying to the point of getting worked up, which is not always successful by the way. And, she said something to the effect that a child's every whine could not be stopped, and if that were possible, she'd like to know the secret.

This is why I felt it was targeted to me. Of course, I could have taken it the wrong way, too.
post #93 of 136
Quote:
Sorry. I've probably went over the top. I looked at the post, and it was in fact about my child.
No it wasn't Atually I hadn't even read the responses when I said what I did I just read the title and the OP and answered.
I was only refering to MY relationship with MY child. That I hate it when My child may be acting up she may be over tired and therefore tantruming or refusing to try broccoli because its green or what ever totally normal kid things. I hate it when someone tells me how THEY wouldn't allow THEIR kid to scream or whine ect.. THey act like I think its fine and dandy like I'm telling her hey honey when your tired its perfectly fine to bite me and throw your self on the floor they act like if I just said No it would stop.
Does that make sense? Again it really truly had zero to do with what you posted.

Deanna
post #94 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
No it wasn't Atually I hadn't even read the responses when I said what I did I just read the title and the OP and answered.
I was only refering to MY relationship with MY child. That I hate it when My child may be acting up she may be over tired and therefore tantruming or refusing to try broccoli because its green or what ever totally normal kid things. I hate it when someone tells me how THEY wouldn't allow THEIR kid to scream or whine ect.. THey act like I think its fine and dandy like I'm telling her hey honey when your tired its perfectly fine to bite me and throw your self on the floor they act like if I just said No it would stop.
Does that make sense? Again it really truly had zero to do with what you posted.

Deanna


Sorry about that. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to jump on you like that.
post #95 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy View Post
I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore.
Oh for Pete's sake. I mentioned that he doesn't do it all the time in my original post. He walks normally at times and on his toes at times. It's not toes all the time. When I tell him to put his foot flat he does it immediately and walks normally. :
post #96 of 136
My FIL bout us being Tv free,
"Well you have to let her have SOME fun.".
I think what we do is much more fun than tv, thankyouverymuch.
post #97 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius...
I agree with you, i really loathe when some illuminated guy or mommy comes and tell you how to educate your kid, telling you that he'd do another thing o that he'd never allow the kid to act that way as you said.

Tell me what you boast about and i'll tell you about your lacks.
post #98 of 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llanitas View Post
I agree with you, i really loathe when some illuminated guy or mommy comes and tell you how to educate your kid, telling you that he'd do another thing o that he'd never allow the kid to act that way as you said.

Tell me what you boast about and i'll tell you about your lacks.
I remember when my oldest was 2. We were camping and she was having a big fit about not wanting to go in the backpack and go for a hike. So I figured, "whatever" and we just went back and hung out at the camp instead. But one of the guys was telling us how he wouldn't have allowed his son (who was then a newborn) to behave like that and he would have just put DD in the backpack and continued on with the hike. Well, let me tell you, as his kid grew up, he had some whoppers of tantrums, way worse than anything my DD ever did. So apparently he did "allow" his child to tantrum.
post #99 of 136
"where are you going to put her?"


umm.. nowhere.

why would i need to PUT her somewhere?
post #100 of 136
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
"I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore."

Wow, she said he does it sometimes. This unsolicited comment in THIS thread... that's the heart of irony.
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