In addition to what you are doing to protect your daughter I just wanted to add, if you haven't already, help your daughter learn how to not be a victim. I know that sounds harsh and in no way is there any blame to be placed on the victims of bullies. But, a fact of life is that bullies will gravitate to those that don't know how to react to bullying.
I so remember being bullied as a child. I also remember my mom telling me that because I cried and ran home that the bully had gotten the reaction he was looking for and he would keep doing it. She told me to either not react in front of him (I could cry when I was home if I needed to) or to make even funnier "jokes" then he was making. Well, after a few more days of tears I finally decided to try what she suggested and it worked. He left me alone after that to pick on others.
His bullying was relatively minor but because of my success at deflecting his "attention" I was able to handle tougher bullies as I grew up. Especially in high school (well, it was grades 6-12 altogether). There was a senior who felt the need to single me out and pick on me constantly (I was an 8th grader). Brave of her, wasn't it. Well, after a few weeks she finally gave up - but it had the potential to get worse because she was very confrontational, pushy, in your face kind of thing.
Because it has gotten physical and Violet seems unstable you need to step in. But, also help arm your daughter with ways to sidestep Violet's words and make the verbal attacks not sting as badly (as you know, you can't be there all the time and Violet may decide to give your daughter an even harder time because she can't get to her at home). I know Violet's words will still hurt your daughter's feelings but if she can learn to show strength (even if she isn't feeling it) or use humor then it will help end the bullying faster.
Remind your daughter you believe in her, that she is smarter than Violet and that she can come up with snappy responses. Eventually, when Violet learns that her bullying isn't working anymore she'll give up. Studies have shown bullies don't have self-esteem issues - their self-esteem is very high. Most are smart and the kids who are targeted need help to understand why they've been "chosen." I guess it's kind of an early lesson in "we teach others how to treat us." It's heartbreaking that it begins at such a young age.
I feel your pain - my 4 yo son has been bullied at school. It is so tough.
Hugs to you guys. You're doing the right thing!
I so remember being bullied as a child. I also remember my mom telling me that because I cried and ran home that the bully had gotten the reaction he was looking for and he would keep doing it. She told me to either not react in front of him (I could cry when I was home if I needed to) or to make even funnier "jokes" then he was making. Well, after a few more days of tears I finally decided to try what she suggested and it worked. He left me alone after that to pick on others.
His bullying was relatively minor but because of my success at deflecting his "attention" I was able to handle tougher bullies as I grew up. Especially in high school (well, it was grades 6-12 altogether). There was a senior who felt the need to single me out and pick on me constantly (I was an 8th grader). Brave of her, wasn't it. Well, after a few weeks she finally gave up - but it had the potential to get worse because she was very confrontational, pushy, in your face kind of thing.
Because it has gotten physical and Violet seems unstable you need to step in. But, also help arm your daughter with ways to sidestep Violet's words and make the verbal attacks not sting as badly (as you know, you can't be there all the time and Violet may decide to give your daughter an even harder time because she can't get to her at home). I know Violet's words will still hurt your daughter's feelings but if she can learn to show strength (even if she isn't feeling it) or use humor then it will help end the bullying faster.
Remind your daughter you believe in her, that she is smarter than Violet and that she can come up with snappy responses. Eventually, when Violet learns that her bullying isn't working anymore she'll give up. Studies have shown bullies don't have self-esteem issues - their self-esteem is very high. Most are smart and the kids who are targeted need help to understand why they've been "chosen." I guess it's kind of an early lesson in "we teach others how to treat us." It's heartbreaking that it begins at such a young age.
I feel your pain - my 4 yo son has been bullied at school. It is so tough.
Hugs to you guys. You're doing the right thing!
) encourage her to deal with the specific situation differently BEFORE it comes to the above statement. We'll see if that helps. Have not talked to the child about it yet, see if I can catch him when his not in a foul mood (which is usually on school days, poor kid.)
