False intuition regarding gender - Page 2

[TzippityDoulah]

but really who is to say that even the ones who "know" their baby's gender and turn out right, really "knew". I mean... not to be a skeptic here, but it's a 50/50 chance. I mean the odds really aren't that hard. there is only 2 choices lol

[PrairieBohemian]

Originally Posted by Hesperia

If you dreamed your child was a boy, and you were upset, that is you dealing with those feelings NOW. You are working through the ideas of some disappointment with your intuition being wrong. I find if I dream something like that (or, a fear of something happening), it will never happen, because I've already dealt with those issues during my sleeping hours. Guarding myself, so to say.

Thank you for this, Hesperia. You are right: I AM working on those feelings now! I have been given the chance to prepare for something unexpected. Why I am so distraught is that I already have two boys who I *knew* to be boys. More than knowing their gender, I could feel their personalities (with my second, even before conception). I felt they had also told their names to me. This pregnancy my "intuition" has been even stronger, but other factors have made it a very hard pregnancy, emotionally.

I am just swimming in my final days of pregnancy and feel a complete mess.

Thank you to everyone for your posts

[Mamabeakley]

I thought both my babies were girls - they are both boys - I know that when I concieve again, I have some hard work to do truly accepting that the baby I get is the baby I get - boy or girl - since I have a deep desire for a daughter. But I am sure that it is more important to me to have another child than to have a daughter . . ..

I think I thought both were girls because I feel strongly that the baby is a part of me in some ways until it is ready to survive on its own out of the womb. So when I ask myself, "what gender is this/are you" I get "girl" because I'm a girl. If that makes any sense.

I go back and forth thinking about whether it might be better to get a 20 week ultrasound to know the gender to avoid that question at the birth. I'm pretty sure I will know better what is right in this matter for me if/when I am actually pregnant.

[sarahn4639]

i knew #1 was a boy, just knew it. when she was born my mom said "it's a girl!" i said "what!?!?" then i laughed and said "i can't believe it's a girl! we have a daughter!"

my mom had 3 girls and figured #4 would be a girl as well. she says she did mourn when my brother was born. not that she was sad she had a boy but that she was missing her daughter. she says it felt like she brought her baby boy home and that was good but she left her daughter behind and that was really hard.

[Devaskyla]

I'm wondering if I got a false intuition this time. I knew very early on that both ds1 & ds2 were boys. This time I felt that it was twin girls. The twin feeling went away about 12 weeks, the certainty it's a girl is gone now too. I'm not even trying to decide now, just hanging in for my very late "20 week" ultrasound in a month.

[majikfaerie]

I wanted a girl. but we were soooo sure we were having a boy. even the OB hinted that it was a boy (to DP, when I was out of hearing - I said I didn't want to know the gender, and DP did), I saw a chinese medicine doctor, who assured me it would be a boy. absolutely everyone was certain. boy boy boy.
me, I didn't really want a boy, but I got used to the idea. we referred to the baby as "he"
when she was born, (UC) I didn't even check. I was just holding her, marvelling. I said "wow, he has red hair! he has my chin dimple! he's breathing! he's so beautiful!!!" etc. after about 10 minutes, someone said "is it really a boy?" only then I thought to check.
GIRL!
later in the day, DP made some masculine-gendered comment, and I corrected him, saying 'she's a girl'. he said he didn't believe me and told me to check again. so I did, and yep, girl then he said "move out of the way, I have to check for myself."
5 years later, she's still a girl

and you know what; if we were meant to know what gener our babies are, god would have put a window on there. on this one, intuition isn't always right, and you love your babe anyway, and live your life.

[*MamaJen*]

Right after my sister gave birth, she looked down and said, "Oh. She's a boy."
She seems to love her son just fine, though.

[wbg]

I have never had intuition, but with my first child we picked out a boy name at 5 weeks preggo and never waivered. we were still debating girl names right into labour. It was a boy. With my second, we picked a girl name at 3 months and then debated boy names until labor and she was a girl. With my 3rd we picked out a boy name and were so stumped for a girl name we decided that we would use the same name! He was a boy! With my 4th, we found out at the ultrasound for the first time! It was a girl and I did not believe it until she popped out. I was happy with a boy or a girl but my daughter was so desperate for a sister. So even when they told me it was a girl I would not let myself get excited until I saw the real life proof!

[avivaelona]

I have thought about this a lot actually, my intuition for my first was for a boy and he was. My intuition for my second was STRONGLY girl and he was a boy. My intuition for this one was fairly neutral...but there was a slight girl feeling but by this point I knew that he was more likely to be a boy and unless there is a really huge surprise waiting for me, he is.

I thought a lot though about why my intuition was what it was and the thing is, I think in western culture we have a whole lot of cultural signifiers about what boy or girl means, and its shorthand for a whole lot of personality traits or just how a person's "self" is. I think we do intuit things about the children inside us...there is nothing I was wrong about my second child except his sex, but trying to name those things we intuit, we label it "shy" "redheaded" "girl" Thus our strong convictions are actually right, we FEEL something strong about the child, which we think is associated with "girlness" instead its something else...I think with my second son, its that his temperment is so similar to mine...and I'm a girl so he must be too? Also he was so very different feeling than my first, who felt so "boy" that difference must of course be gender. (with this third again, very different feelings but this time I listened more and didn't automatically identify it as a gender difference).

So I can believe that a dream of a child saying their name, well the child is genderless at this point to theirself, they are just theirself, but how is your mind going to interpret that? If you feel "girl" about the things they might be...than you might see the dream child as a girl. You aren't wrong about the child, you are just wrong about how your brain interprets gender.

Of course this is all just my theory, but the more I thought about it the more I needed to understand how I could have "felt" so much about my unborn children but not really have known the gender...but why should I know the gender when in the end gender is just an overlay, but the inner temperment or soul or just being of a child is permanent.

I hope that doesn't all sound too crazy

PS, Perhaps Xeowyn knew what he was talking about, isn't the Y suffix usually used for males in Welsh names? I believe it is and female names usually end in en instead.