Thanks mamas, I feel encouraged and supported by your posts!
Gavin's Mom- Honestly Time Outs do work for us. I know they are not always favorable here but a threatened time out does divert his behavior (not for the aggressiove thing but for other behaviors) I guess we do more of time ins because I stay with him and talk about it and afterwards we make ammends. But anyway....... Doesn't seem to phase him when its a time out for hurting another kid. He doesn't get mad when we leave the park or when I sit him in a TO then.
Pumpkin_Pie- Good idea for an aggressive toddler thread. I think it is helpful to be able to get our frustrations out and gain perspective from other moms. Especially since this is online. I found myself telling two people over the phone about my horrible day yesterday and my one friend said "Is Lochlan sitting right there listening?" It made sense to me that yeah maybe he is listening and it is reinforcing his bad behavior.
Oceans Eve- I tend to wonder if we have leaders of bullies brewing here!! I have never *NEVER* had to step in and protect my son. I would actually welcome him getting pushed or pinched. Its only happened a few times and he has no reaction to it. He is very tough.
Vermontgirl- I reallllly appreciated your post. So many things rang true for me. I think the best thing you said was protect him from adults who don't understand. I have a great bunch of friends. They are patient and kind and will speak to Lochlan gently if I did not get there in time. BUT I have one parent who took matters into her own hands and stepped in front of me and handled it. It upset me. And I have another mom who has 2 very mellow almost catatonic kids and she informed me on how she would have handled it (they are both spankers) and it made me so sick to my stomach. She has NO CLUE what its like. Its difficult to be pro- AP when your child does not exhibit the desired behaviors.
The thing that stumps me is that he is not aggressive towards anyone but other children his age. He loves loves babies and hugs them and plays with them. He loves loves older children (5+) and he is great towards adults including DH and I. At home he hugs and cuddles and loves on us like crazy. He is snuggly and sweet a lot of the time. But when he is around other children his own age I see a change in his countenance. He is very introspective and thoughtful and his aggressive acts are very thought out. Sometimes they are a knee jerk reaction to a toy being stolen. But often it is unprovoked.......