Originally Posted by That is Nice
I've never taken it to mean contagious or clutch the pearls...it's just the logistics of it. When you have no one to help you, you have no one to help you, whether you are married or single.
And like a lot of people said earlier, if you have no one to help you anyway, it's usually best to also not have someone to bother you while not helping you.
And perhaps there are some single mothers who are single mothers now because they felt like single mothers anyway while married or partnered. It's not easy being married or partnered to someone who isn't a help.
So, I think it's more the logistical comparison.
It doesn't make sense though because many (not all by any stretch, but many) single mothers do have support, feel in control, take care of themselves and their kids, are happy, thriving, and/or feel nurtured. Many of us chose to be single from the get-go or choose to remain single for various reasons. So saying "I feel like a single mom" usually implies that being a single mom is a sucky and crummy existence which is inaccurate and can be kind of hurtful.
I say things like "I had a classic single mom day" like for example the other night I was studying, sewing costumes, filling out a police report, cleaning the house, preparing lunches, waiting for cops to show up for a statement regarding my ex., and dealing with an anxious child all night long until 3:00 am. But that's coming from a single mom (me) and is a little bit tongue-in-cheek yk?
Anyway, to me it's not a huge
deal, but I do find it feeds into the negative stigma of being a single parent and is not an uplifting, supportive or understanding thing to hear---especially from someone who isn't a single parent.