My DD is almost 4 and very assertive, sensitive, strong willed, and slow to adjust to new situations. She has been like this pretty much since birth, and it's just part of her personality. We try not to label and I've read a few books like 'Raising your Spirited Child', etc, which are helpful.
Last year, she had a hard time adjusting to preschool. It took a few months for her to get used to being there without me, and I was always the last parent to leave the room in the morning. Then, halfway through the year, she became good friends with another girl there and was very happy to go to school.
This year, although the girls are still friends, there are some new children at the preschool and DD no longer has the undivided attention of her friend. She found this tough to deal with. I have offered lots of acknowledgement, support and empathy, and have also suggested that it's good to play with several different friends, and not just one. She is now making other friends and that seems to be going OK.
However, every morning that she has preschool (3 mornings a week) we have to really convince her just to go. She gets really negative at times, and says 'I hate preschool' 'I really hate being with those rough boys' (who run around and sometimes bump into her) - I have also offered empathy about this, but there's not much I feel can be done about it.
I have to remind her about fun things at school, entice her with fun snacks, or suggest that she wear a special outfit, etc just to get her to go to school. Once we're there, she often doesn't want me to leave, which is difficult because I'm trying to keep 2yr old DS out of trouble there as well. Today I had to stay for 30 min while one of the teachers and I tried to get her involved in an activity. I know 30 min isn't that long, as I had to stay longer than that last year, but it's her 2nd year now with the same teachers and mostly the same kids.
After she comes home, most of the time she says she had fun and relays all the fun things she did that day, but the next time she seems to have forgotten about the fun she had and says she doesn't want to go.
She is also doing this with her ballet class. She loves dancing and has been taking this class with the same teacher for 5 sessions. However, she'll be dancing around the room, saying she'll show her teacher her new moves, then an hour later say that she's not going to ballet.
Any advice? I know some parents would say not to force her to go to any class as she's still very young, but I feel that if she said she wants to take ballet classes, then she should go to all the classes, not just go when she feels like it.
With preschool, I don't want to force her to go, and the teachers have said I'm doing the right thing, by encouraging her, trying to engage her in fun activities when we're there, etc. I don't want to allow her to stay home, because once she's in real school, she won't have the option of staying home because she feels like it.
Last year, she had a hard time adjusting to preschool. It took a few months for her to get used to being there without me, and I was always the last parent to leave the room in the morning. Then, halfway through the year, she became good friends with another girl there and was very happy to go to school.
This year, although the girls are still friends, there are some new children at the preschool and DD no longer has the undivided attention of her friend. She found this tough to deal with. I have offered lots of acknowledgement, support and empathy, and have also suggested that it's good to play with several different friends, and not just one. She is now making other friends and that seems to be going OK.
However, every morning that she has preschool (3 mornings a week) we have to really convince her just to go. She gets really negative at times, and says 'I hate preschool' 'I really hate being with those rough boys' (who run around and sometimes bump into her) - I have also offered empathy about this, but there's not much I feel can be done about it.
I have to remind her about fun things at school, entice her with fun snacks, or suggest that she wear a special outfit, etc just to get her to go to school. Once we're there, she often doesn't want me to leave, which is difficult because I'm trying to keep 2yr old DS out of trouble there as well. Today I had to stay for 30 min while one of the teachers and I tried to get her involved in an activity. I know 30 min isn't that long, as I had to stay longer than that last year, but it's her 2nd year now with the same teachers and mostly the same kids.
After she comes home, most of the time she says she had fun and relays all the fun things she did that day, but the next time she seems to have forgotten about the fun she had and says she doesn't want to go.
She is also doing this with her ballet class. She loves dancing and has been taking this class with the same teacher for 5 sessions. However, she'll be dancing around the room, saying she'll show her teacher her new moves, then an hour later say that she's not going to ballet.
Any advice? I know some parents would say not to force her to go to any class as she's still very young, but I feel that if she said she wants to take ballet classes, then she should go to all the classes, not just go when she feels like it.
With preschool, I don't want to force her to go, and the teachers have said I'm doing the right thing, by encouraging her, trying to engage her in fun activities when we're there, etc. I don't want to allow her to stay home, because once she's in real school, she won't have the option of staying home because she feels like it.
A child can change a lot in a few months time. Even if you removed her from preschool and kept her home she may be a totally different child in another three months or six months. Kids change fast. It's like one minute they can't read and the next they are great at reading. You might be surprised. Just because she doesn't want to go to preschool doesn't mean she won't do okay with kindergarten once it starts in another year or two.
My kids used to be in school for a while but are homeschooling now and even my 6 yr old has a wonderful time socializing with kids of all ages. And when she was in preschool and kindergarten she got pushed around and treated badly by even her closest little girlfriends at times. 
It happens at the younger ages as well, more than you think.
