Is it unreasonable to not want to carry my 3.5 year old constantly?

[yentroc]

Lately dd (3.5) is really testing my patience. She is very clingy and demanding and wants me to carry her all.the.time. I try to compensate with a lot of snuggle time, holding hands, big hugs, etc. But she's too heavy for me to carry.

I suspect that this is just a power struggle, because I see other power struggles cropping up all over.

I guess I'm just ranting. Just having a tough time lately.

[gingerbread_ca]

Sorry to hear...I wouldn't carry (and can not carry) big kids (I have twins!) Maybe you can take an umbrella stroller along and a special toy to use just with the stroller. At least that might cut down on the power struggle in public.

[GooeyRN]

I give my dd the choice, walk or stroller. If shopping, the cart. If dh is with us, she can go in the Mei Tai. I WILL NOT carry her anymore. Nope. Not gonna do it. She is too heavy. She sometimes throws a fit, but that is her choice. If she is too tired to walk she can ride in the stroller. I am not carrying/wearing two children. The baby has an excuse to be carried/worn, since he can not walk yet.

[meemee]

i walked my dd out of being carried over a period of time. carry for a little while. then put her down. and again. took her a while to adapt but she learnt thru discovery that yes mom cant really carry her. and so after a while she got used to asking. i also did what u did. hold and commiserate right in the middle of the sidewalk.

the usual time i couldnt talk her to try was when seh was either tired or hungry and so whiny. at that point we would just try to get thru stuff fast and i would hold off on my frustration coz i knew the logical side of my dd didnt exist at that time.

so yeah - it took a while to happen. even now though at 6 dd still cant resist asking. and i make a joke of it - pantomime of me staggering. i have noticed she actually loves being close - the physical touch. so i walk with my arm around her. i started this when i slowly stopped carrying her. today she pulls my arm over her shoulder when she wants to be 'carried'.

i call this my time of getting used to be 'not needed' soon as she has started showing signs of independence.

[proudmamanow]

same problem here--if possible we use the ergo, but this is not always possible...

[babycarrier]

I don't think it is unreasonable at all.

[nextcommercial]

I carreid my daughter a lot more than I should have. On one hip.

She's sixteen now. (no I don't still carry her)

But, I have suffered many health problems because of that. It's kindof a domino effect. First, I got a heal spur from carrying her on one hip. Then, I overcompesated and caused problems in the other hip. Now, my knee and my back have major problems. ALL of that leads straight back to the first heel spur.

She would have been fine walking, or just sitting near me, but, I just picked her up every time she asked. It wasn't even a power struggle. It was just a habit.

I'd rather have good healthy joints.

[3littlebirds]

my 3yo asks to be carried a lot too. always has. we used a sling then the ergo for a long time but now he's just too heavy. sometimes i'll offer to hold hands and that'll do it. when it doesn't, i'll think of a game to play while walking, such as counting the squares of concrete, counting the houses, naming the colors of cars we walk by. this will satisfy him 90% of the time.

[mamalisa]

I've noticed lately that a lot of the reason my dd wants to be held is because she's so much shorter than everyone else. Imagine standing around staring at everyone's knees all day!! Last night we were at a party and she kept wanting to be held, it was such a hassle!! I tried to pick her up before she asked a lot of the time and that made a difference in her attitude about it. She wasn't so needy about it.

Today my lower back and right shoulder are killing me.