Someone please tell me why I didn't circumsize my son - Page 3

[Romana]

I see no good reason to perform unnecessary prophylactic or cosmetic surgery on my newborn that may result in complications.

[KBecks]

because I don't believe in cutting up people's genitals.

that is blunt, but I think it makes the point that circ is wrong

[kriket]

penises are funny looking enough without missing pieces

[tammyswanson]

A 'little bit of pain'..that is the minimalist saying of the year. How about, you wanted to save him from days of excruciating pain, risk of getting a staph resistant infection, not wanting to have him have his brain rewired so he's more sensitive to pain for the rest of his life, I didn't want to have him be in so much pain that he couldn't breast feed properly. That's just a few.

I can't believe that doctors (actually yes I can believe) would think that newborns don't feel pain..especially the MOST SENSITIVE PART OF THEIR BODY. If some doctor ever said something like that to me, I'd ask them if they took a scalpel to their own penis, if that would be 'a little bit painful'.

Good for you that you didn't 'go with the flow', and please don't let them try to make you feel weird that you didn't give in to male genital mutilation. You did great! Just make sure they don't try to retract your DS.

[Bohemian Squash]

I just have to say I'm so glad to see a Mama on here who circ'd her first son, then didn't her 2nd. I really regret circ'ing my son and should we have another we will not be. I just wish I'd been more informed earlier. My only fear of questioning will be coming from my son when he's a grown man. What do I say to him? Ugh. I feel so guilty.

[jessjgh1]

Hi Kristin ((hugs)), just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone. Have you ever seen the 'regrets' thread stickied? Its not the easiest read by any means, but there are many mommas that posted there with a similar mindset (about not making the same decision again).

I also appreaciate the many parents who have shared their story with us, because I know it really helped me stick up for myself and stand up to those pressuring me to circumcise our son. I know I almost caved in, and I KNEW, but those mother's experiences really stuck with me and reminded me how valid my concerns, fears, and instinct are.

There also have been many discussions about how to bring it up to your son.

to MDC and CAC!

Jessica

[KBecks]

Originally Posted by Bohemian Squash

I just have to say I'm so glad to see a Mama on here who circ'd her first son, then didn't her 2nd. I really regret circ'ing my son and should we have another we will not be. I just wish I'd been more informed earlier. My only fear of questioning will be coming from my son when he's a grown man. What do I say to him? Ugh. I feel so guilty.

I feel I circed my 2nd son in part because of this dilemma, and I can tell you that having 2 circed sons doesn't make it any easier for you or for either of your boys.

Basically, I think you tell your first son that it was a mistake, that you thought it was the right thing to do but it wasn't and that you are very, very sorry. Then you can tell him about restoration if he is interested. You tell him you love him and he is great and that you want him to have a happy life and then try and help him if he needs any support. I think that's all you can do.

I do feel there are millions of American men who have survived circ and still get along OK in the world, they are happy and still have nice lives. Life isn't perfect, and unfortunately it's a huge wrong done to our boys, but they will adapt and be OK if they are loved and supported. I think it is important to acknowledge the wrong and apologize.

Please don't circ your future sons. I think that showing you've learned and choose differently in the future shows your positive change in the family.

[LittleGriff]

I'm a little late to the party but I just couldn't resist putting in my 2 cents.

IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT!
is the bottom line for me.

Yes, I could live just fine without my earlobes or some of my labia or my toenails - but why on earth would I? Cutting off body bits just complicates life and introduces unnecessary risk.

Plus, there is absolutely no good reason TO circumsise. If foreskins were detrimental to human health they would have evolved out of existence long ago.

Lastly, the 'everybody else is doing it' argument boggles my brain. It is a lazy argument that the arguer certainly would not apply to most other life decisions.

And lastly - as others have pointed out - IT IS NO ONE'S DAMN BUSINESS! Sheesh

[rissierae]

Surprisingly there have only been 2 people who have asked me about my discision not to. My best friend and my sister. I guess they feel comfortable enough talking about my son's penis. My sister circ'd her son when he was born a couple of years ago. At that time I didn't know what I know now, otherwise I would have tried to talk her out of it. She was surprised that we didn't and asked why. I just said I didn't see a good enough reason for it. She asked all the questions like, "how do you clean it and keep it from getting infected?" And I said I don't, I just leave it alone. I almost came back with something like, "It's not a wound that I would have to clean like your son's was." But I didn't.

My friend on the other hand was very glad that I didn't. She tried to talk her sister out of it before her nephew was born, but no luck. She doesn't have kids and doesn't know much about circumcision in general, but she is studying to be a vet and realises the importance of foreskin for other animals.

I must add that both of these baby boys mentioned above were VERY unhappy babies, "colicy." And mine wasn't, I've always wondered if it was because of their circumcision experiecnes and the soreness afterwards. I know that some babies are just that way, but it can't help if they're sore from being cut up!

[JJ'sMom]

Okay. Everyone has posted excellent replies,but my number one reason (after all the great ones) for not circ'ing is....
because it is so raw and painful looking. Very personal, but so is a penis!!

My sis had her DS circ'd and i wince every time I see him nude.

Julia

[veganf]

Because it is his body, not yours.

[Fi.]

"Um why would you? This is 2008, we don't need to do preventative amputations to organs that are treatable via cream and pills if they ever have a problem"

[caiesmommy]

Ahhh pretty simple!...

WHo am I to have the right to chop my sons penis off?
If I had a daughter I wouldnt give her a female circ?...when people say well thats abuse my answers always I know thats why im not cutting my ds.

[LavenderMae]

I didn't circumcise my sons because foreskin is an integral part of the penis with many purposes (it's not a mistake or a birth defect). Also because circumcision sexually and permanently alters the penis and that's not something I feel is right to do to someone else's body. And I also could never put my baby through something so painful (and with real risks and complications) for absolutely no reason. It just makes no sense to cut off a perfectly healthy and functioning part of a newborn's body.

[homebirthing]

I didn't circumcise because it is the mutilation of innocence.