Originally Posted by lisabeeprague
Willowsmom - I have the same problem. I can't call what happened to me a 'birth'. I can't even say 'when DD was born' because what happened to us was so far from what birth should be that it defiles the word to use it (does that make any sense?)
And yes, very few people know or understand about Birth Trauma and/or Birth Rape. The vast majority of people will come out with the same trite offerings of 'a healthy mom and a healthy baby' 'just be grateful' etc. But IMO mental health is just as important if not more so than physical health, and both mom and baby are damaged by traumatic births.
I can't say "when DD was born" either... I'm at a loss of what to say when I talk about it. lol
I've been told that I should "get over it", that "I should be thankful that Willow was ok and that I healed quickly." ...and you hear that so much that you start to doubt your emotions and feelings about the whole experience. I started to feel guilty that I was sweating over the whole thing, y'know? So I tried to do things that I thought would make me feel better. About 3 months after, I went to the Dr. and asked him to show me my chart. I asked him what they saw that would lead them to the conclusion that it was an emergency. You know what the answer was? "Your c-section was probably unnecessary, but we were making the best decision we could with the information we had at the time." Really. Thanks a heap, Sweeney Todd.
I left his office not feeling better at all... I left feeling angry.
So, now I'm 8 weeks along with the 2nd kiddo, something I didn't even imagine would happen...and while I'm excited and happy... I feel that anger again. I'm a lot more confident to ask for what I need to make sure I get the BIRTH I want. That in itself is pretty freakin' healing.