or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Spirituality › "Cover"-ed Girls!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

"Cover"-ed Girls! - Page 53

post #1041 of 1083
Quote:
Originally Posted by frugalmama View Post

I live in a city with a VERY high military population and don't want to be an issue for the servicemen who are just returning.

headscratch.gif Explain?
post #1042 of 1083


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by frugalmama View Post

 

 

So I'm on the hunt for more covers. I'm going to order a few almira hijabs from Hijab girl to use for sun coverage, but I'm very hesitant about wearing them out in public - I live in a city with a VERY high military population and don't want to be an issue for the servicemen who are just returning. 


this is not something i would be worried about. They have to come live here with it's wide variety of people everyday.  if they can't stand seeing someone wearing a hijab then they need to be placed in a mental facility. Cover how you feel most comfortable and let others deal with their own issues.

post #1043 of 1083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by frugalmama View Post

I live in a city with a VERY high military population and don't want to be an issue for the servicemen who are just returning.



headscratch.gif Explain?


I Live in San Antonio, TX - less than a mile from Ft. Sam Houston and Brooke Army Medical Center, where they are basing rehab for wounded service members and re-integration programs for returning service members with possible mental "issues" before allowing them back into regular society. I also have to go to the local VA hospital 2-3 times a month with my father, and there are a lot of just back service members there as well. I understand flashbacks - we deal with them on a daily basis with my father with anything related to his time in the Korean War. I wouldn't want to cause someone else to have flashbacks, you know? Yes, it's my right to do so, but it's also their right to not be reminded all the time of their time during the war, KWIM? If I were wearing Hijab for purely religious reasons I'd have a different outlook on it, but I'm not.

 

I've already had a male friend of mine who does repairs for us ask me to not wear something that looks even semi-hijab like around him as it made him uncomfortable with memories of his time in Iraq and Afganistan. He understands head covering {his wife is Jewish and covers part time} but still asked because it made him very uncomfortable.

 

I'm probably not explaining it very good, and being overly cautious, but that's just me.

post #1044 of 1083
I think you're probably explaining fine. I mean, your friend's request in particular is one of the more offensive requests I have heard of in a while, and obviously I have to be uncomfortable with the idea of it being more respectful to keep any space clear of people who look like ... me ... but at the same time there are plenty enough Muslims who are not comfortable being visibly Muslim that one can hardly blame a non-Muslim for not wanting to be mistaken for one. So my offense isn't something meant to try to guilt or push you into anything ... it just is what it is.
post #1045 of 1083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post

I think you're probably explaining fine. I mean, your friend's request in particular is one of the more offensive requests I have heard of in a while..
nod.gifyeahthat.gif
post #1046 of 1083

Frugalmama, I understand your concern, but on the other hand your friend needs to be seeking help for this if he is not. I also suffer from PTSD and have flashbacks. Triggers are common and are everywhere in society for me, and I don't ever feel like I have the right to ask someone to not wear something or look a certain way because it causes flashbacks or makes me uncomfortable. Those are my issues that I have to own and confront and deal with. If he is have PTSD symptoms, there are many things he can do, from therapy to medication to meditation to deep breathing, etc... to help manage those so that he isn't uncomfortable and can function well in society without making demands on others around him.

 

As for the snood and headbands, they finally arrived. I'm less than impressed to be honest. They are so pretty to look at but they just don't fit my head well. The only way I can get any of them to stay on (even the headbands) is to bobby pin them into place. The one that fits the best is the stretch Cecily.(At least that's what I think it's called but I just went back to the website and they aren't selling it anymore :-( 

Overall I'm disappointed and I won't be buying from then again. I ordered almost $90 worth of stuff that doesn't fit well, and their customer service left a lot to be desired. I also have a bit of a gripe about the fact that my order came with a couple of business cards that I found to be a bit pushy.One of them was so so but the other one had the statement "if I should die tonight I'm going to H_______."  I'm not christian, I'm pagan, and the biggest issue I run into all the dang time about covering is people assuming I'm christian. I don't mean to be offensive or pick a fight with anyone here who is christian, but that kind of stuff really chaps my hide. irked.gif

 

 

post #1047 of 1083

Sorry to hear about that WW!

Are you going to contact the company for a refund?

 

If you purchased Meg snoods, and you don't want them, I would be interested in taking them off your hands. Let me know.

post #1048 of 1083
Quote:
Originally Posted by wytchywoman View Post

I also have a bit of a gripe about the fact that my order came with a couple of business cards that I found to be a bit pushy.One of them was so so but the other one had the statement "if I should die tonight I'm going to H_______."  I'm not christian, I'm pagan, and the biggest issue I run into all the dang time about covering is people assuming I'm christian. I don't mean to be offensive or pick a fight with anyone here who is christian, but that kind of stuff really chaps my hide. irked.gif

 

 


OT-ish, but reminds me of a pack of pregnancy tests I had ordered online (when I really, really did not want to be pregnant, and as it turns out wasn't) that arrived with well-wishes for conception and a cutesy packet of glitter marked as "magic baby dust" or some such. I wasn't *offended*, exactly, but just a little more like, "well, that's one way to completely misread who your customers might be."
post #1049 of 1083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by wytchywoman View Post

I also have a bit of a gripe about the fact that my order came with a couple of business cards that I found to be a bit pushy.One of them was so so but the other one had the statement "if I should die tonight I'm going to H_______."  I'm not christian, I'm pagan, and the biggest issue I run into all the dang time about covering is people assuming I'm christian. I don't mean to be offensive or pick a fight with anyone here who is christian, but that kind of stuff really chaps my hide. irked.gif

 

 




OT-ish, but reminds me of a pack of pregnancy tests I had ordered online (when I really, really did not want to be pregnant, and as it turns out wasn't) that arrived with well-wishes for conception and a cutesy packet of glitter marked as "magic baby dust" or some such. I wasn't *offended*, exactly, but just a little more like, "well, that's one way to completely misread who your customers might be."


Exactly! I guess I can see where the assumption comes from, but I don't think assumptions are ever really a good thing, in either your case or mine.

Patience and Love, as stupid as this may sound I hadn't even considered asking for a refund. I'm going to contemplate that for a bit. If this were a walmart or target issue, I'd have no problem asking for my money back, but I am a bit reluctant given that this is a small, mama owned company. I try hard to support the little guys, even when I think they aren't so fabulous, just based on the principal of the matter. I am going to try the snood one more time and wear my hair in a different way. If that doesn't work and it still falls off then I will PM you.

 

post #1050 of 1083

WW-

Understandable. I do hope that the snoods, and other coverings, work out for you.

 

I have noticed that no matter what headcovering I use- headband, snood, headwrap- I still have to use some sort of "anchor"- clips or bobby pins are what I normally use. And that's even with an underscarf!

 

I am sorry to hear about the business card.  Even as a Christian, I would still be kind of offended. I don't like to presume that I know my ultimate destination- only God knows that. I am aiming for Heaven, and I can only hope that I get there.

post #1051 of 1083

Wytchywoman, do you want some links to sites to get bigger scarves and snoods that won't send you that kind of uninvited missionizing and also will give you decent customer service (at least based on my experience)?

 

I have a few sources if you want.

post #1052 of 1083

http://www.coveryourhair.com/ 

 

http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/group.pl?id=15 

 

http://www.haircoverings.com/head-scarves-tichels.html 

 

http://www.savvysheitels.com/zcart/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=7_30 

 

I have bought from the first two with very good experiences. The second two get high recommendations from friends. The products are of good quality and the customer service has been responsive. Hope this helps someone!

post #1053 of 1083

Thank you Nikarolaberry :-) I will check those sites out.

post #1054 of 1083
For those of you Mamas who like long denim skirts without slits, J Style is having a 20% off sale through the end of March. They have petite, plus, and maternity sizes as well.

www.denimskirts.com

code is KR20SQ
post #1055 of 1083

Thanks! Their stuff is very nice.

post #1056 of 1083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry View Post

Thanks! Their stuff is very nice.


I've enjoyed all of the skirts I've bought from them. They've been high quality and true to size. They also had really fast shipping. I think they're based some place in South Florida. smile.gif
post #1057 of 1083

Hi everyone,

 

I am new to head covering and only covering very part time at the moment, but hoping to cover more as I build my confidence.  I cover for religious reasons but they are hard to explain because I'm spiritually a bit all over the map at the moment.  I've been feeling called covering for several years now, and very strongly in the last year.  For me it seems to have something to do with being reminded of God in my life, but I'm drawn to more modest covers and wear my hair up pretty much all the time.  I have come to the conclusion that for now I should simply go with it and try not to worry about understanding the "why" I am feeling led in this direction.  I am also experimenting with modest dress, but that isn't going as well in the humid summers where I live. 

 

I ordered a Meg's Snood from Garlands of Grace which I love (I also ordered a Cecily's covering but it doesn't fit well).  I alternate the snood with bandanas and tichels.  I ordered a few tichels from mytichels.com and was very happy with the price, quality, and service. 

 

I was really happy to see other covered women on this forum.  I don't know anyone else who covers and don't have anyone to talk to about this.  My husband is supportive but definitely doesn't get it.  It would be easier if I was part of religious community that also covered, but although I'm currently looking for a spiritual home, nothing has felt right yet. 

 

Anyway, nice to meet you all and I'm going to go back to the start of the thread and catch up!

post #1058 of 1083
I understand what you mean about the military connection. I want to cover but feel unable to because DH is ex-military and he has serious, serious issues with hijab - or any cover actually. I compromise by wearing wide headbands a lot but he doesn't even like those, and I don't feel they cover enough. We have almost identical beliefs about religion, oddly, but he won't even HEAR about Islam because of blind hatred for it. It's so sad. Actually, I think it's guilt more than hate. He feels that "the Muslims were right" and that their religion was right but he feels so guilty for being on the "wrong side" of the fight (in his words) that he just doesn't want any reminders.
post #1059 of 1083

If anyone has a "Charming Charlie" store near them, check it out- they have some ridiculously awesome scarves and hats.

post #1060 of 1083

bumping. just wondering how everyone is doing.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Spirituality
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Spirituality › "Cover"-ed Girls!