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For those who don't get flylady ....

post #1 of 86
10/20/08 at 2:24pm
Thread Starter 
I am going to try to "get" flylady this month. Many people swear by it but I have not found it really beneficial as is. Someone (I do not remember who) suggested that I look for the concepts behind what flylady was asking you to do. To be honest at that time, my clutter was consuming my thoughts and I did not have the clarity of mind to step back and get the bigger picture. I do not know why, but I have thought about this suggestion off and on ... and I have decided to try it now that I am out from my clutter. Maybe it will help someone else here. I appreciate the people on this forum so much because you have helped me make my family's life better.


So here we go ....

FlyLady Day 1

OK, if shining your sink does it for you, then you can take flylady at her word; however, if you are like me, this is more like a sentence of doom than a "hug". I hate shining my sink. I never do it. I make sure that food is rinsed out after using it and that the counter is dry, but I NEVER shine my sink. Shiny Sink = Waste of My Time.

So, the real message here is to find the one little thing or spot in your house that gives you a "hug". Mine is making my bed. It is usually not perfectly made (2 toddlers who like to lay in mama's bed, but it makes my bedroom look better when I come through the door to a mostly made bed. I fold laundry on my bed and it makes that task easier. I also love going to bed at night in a made bed and not one with covers all over the place that needs to be straighten before I can comfortable get into it.

Yours might be no dishes in the sink, clean dining room table, clean bathroom counter, clean bathroom mirror, etc. If you have no idea what makes you happy because you can not remember the clean house days and what made you happy, then experiment. Try one thing today, if it works, then great if it does not do it for you, then try something else until you figure it out.

PLEASE post your "hug" if you are reading this and know yours or what you are going to try so that others can benefit from your ideas.

Thanks! Hope you find your "hug" today.
-Rebecca
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post #2 of 86
10/20/08 at 2:38pm
A clean kitchen makes me happy. It's also our hardest room to keep clean. I do like a clean sink. I don't really care if it shines. I dump some baking soda in and wash it with a towel. That's about it.

That said, my bedroom has gotten pretty bad. That's the room that I'm going to tackle today after work. I prefer to clean one room at a time or take on one big task at a time that is not part of the daily cleaning, laundry, dish washing.
post #3 of 86
10/20/08 at 2:46pm
subbing..

I agree that the trick with fly lady is to not take her too literally.
post #4 of 86
10/20/08 at 3:08pm
Here's my take on Flylady: she's sharing her system with you, which has worked for her and many others. Take what works for you and leave the rest.

I hear the phrase "shine your sink" not literally but figuratively. If a shiny sink isn't important to you, then there's probably something else that can be your focus point- maybe a specific countertop to clear off, a spot that takes only a few minutes to clear off and then makes you feel more centered and less "overwhelmed by the clutter." That's the concept that's important- to break the work up into little steps and do small areas so you see improvement without knocking yourself out.

Other important pieces of the system are to do work in small, workable chunks of 15 minutes or so, and to realize that it's OK to "not finish". If you do a little and there's improvment, it's a sucess. Too many people say "I'll never finish so why bother starting?" and that's what her system is trying to fix.

Also, for people who don't even know where to start, she says "go clean your sink." It's not that the sink is so important, it's just that it's SOMEWHERE concrete to begin, for those who are too overwhelmed to even start.
post #5 of 86
10/20/08 at 4:18pm
Thread Starter 
wendyland - I'm glad that sink clean works for you. To be honest, it is the drying the sink out after every use that she totally lost me on. I like a clean sink but to me a clean sink does not equal a dried out sink just more work.


aquarian - Hi, ope you enjoy.


Ruthla - Hi. Not sure if you read my entire post, but I did state that many people swear by it (ie she does work for some people, changed their lives for the better). My point is that flylady is great for people who have a certain types of personality. This is not a insult to any type of personality but to state that her application of her system does not work for every personality. She does not really separate her system from her application and when I was in over my head with clutter, I was not able to "get" her system from the babysteps at the point I was in my life and her applications did not work for me . I was only discouraged because I did not get it. As far as I got, she never said that this is her system and here is her application and to go find an application that works for you. It may seem obvious to you but it is not to everyone. She comes across to me (and to many others) that you have to shine your sink and get dressed to your toes. Shining and drying my sink irks me, it does not make me feel better. My husband is Korean and it is rude to wear shoes in the house.

The point of this post is to pull out the system of flylady for those that the application does not work so that we might be able to find the application for us.

Happy Cleaning Everyone!
-Rebecca
post #6 of 86
10/20/08 at 4:21pm
I don't get FlyLady either. Here's the thing: I love cleaning, but I don't have the time to do it. I don't think she really likes cleaning, but she likes having things clean. I think her system works for others that share her mindset.
post #7 of 86
10/20/08 at 4:38pm
I don't literally "shine" my sink, either. We scrub it every night, and I wipe the fixtures with Windex. But that's it until after the dishes are done the next night - I don't dry it out every time I use it.

I think my biggest Flylady "thing" is wearing shoes and being dressed. I've WAH for several years, and I've always gotten dressed. But I can't believe how much more productive I feel wearing sneakers instead of slippers.

I don't follow every Flylady thing to the letter, and I'm horrible about keeping up with the daily missions. But overall, it's the best system I've tried, and it has definitely improved my life.
post #8 of 86
10/20/08 at 4:46pm
I've tried flylady but I think it is impossible to keep my kitchen sink shiny (although I do keep it clean). My 'hug' or calming spot is when my kitchen table is clear. Things always end up on it and I feel so much better once I clear it off, or can set the table for supper without having to create a huge pile of junk at one end of it.

I do get the flylady emails but I always just end up deleting them. I keep hoping that I will somehow click with the program, eventually! So many people swear by it and it does make sense to me, I just have a hard time incorporating it for some reason.
post #9 of 86
10/20/08 at 4:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalynn View Post

The point of this post is to pull out the system of flylady for those that the application does not work so that we might be able to find the application for us.
Which is why I was sharing MY interpretation of it. Flylady DOES present it as "this is the way to go" without the "take what works for you and leave the rest" part- but my own interpretation is that you can pick and choose parts and learn from her system even if the whole system, as is, doesn't work for you.


IMO, the most important aspects of Flylady is the idea of "do SOMETHING even if you can't finish" and "make routines that work for you so small areas STAY clean."
post #10 of 86
10/20/08 at 9:00pm
Thread Starter 
Ruthla - I think I understand you now, thanks for the clarification and not taking it personal. I am glad for people like you who can break these things apart for us that find it more difficult.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
IMO, the most important aspects of Flylady is the idea of "do SOMETHING even if you can't finish" and "make routines that work for you so small areas STAY clean."
Thanks for this insight, these 2 are so important. I would also add that for many people getting rid of stuff is part of keeping areas organized and clean. We will probably end up with 15-20% of the stuff we originally had, and I am a much happier woman/wife/mom for it.

-Rebecca
post #11 of 86
10/20/08 at 9:10pm
There are a lot of flylady concepts that are really useful IMO:
  • getting dressed and wearing shoes -- I have actually found that I am more productive when I do this. You can keep special shoes for indoors but I don't -- I just find that my home is cleaner/tidier when I wear shoes *in spite* of my shoes not being impeccable.
  • not focusing on cleaning things weekly, but rather doing things every day -- like the daily bathroom swish and swipe instead of chiselling off crud every once in a while
  • having routines and writing them down -- so that you do things in automatic pilot mode and when you're having trouble focusing, you can just go to your list and check off the next task
  • seeing how caring for your home fits into the big picture of respecting yourself and being able to accomplish things other than housework
  • recognizing that decluttering is the first step to caring for your home -- detailed cleaning is secondary
  • using a timer to motivate yourself to work on things for short time periods rather than getting overwhelmed
  • when decluttering, plucking out items that need to be gotten rid of, rather than taking everything out of a closet and ending up with a big overwhelming mess
  • etc
post #12 of 86
10/20/08 at 9:15pm
My Flylady "get" is that instead of putting on my shoes when I'm getting down to business, I put on my watch. We do not wear shoes inside our home, so I wasn't going to change that just because some internet cleaning program recommended it. But the point of putting on your shoes is to mentally tell yourself that it is work time, so for me that is putting on my watch. And on the weekends when I don't have tons of chores to do, I leave it on the bathroom counter.

I also do the 27 item boogie, but with 10 items. 27 always seems to be way too much for me.
post #13 of 86
10/20/08 at 10:59pm
i recently posted my thoughts, but here's what i've discovered about why flylady and other cleaning routines just don't work for me

1) I know what it takes to clean a house. I don't need a list of regular chores that need to be done at certain times.

2) I am way too free-spirited (not that I'm saying it's a good thing) to be happy with such routines. I could see myself trying to get stuff done in the a.m. as a rule, but I can't do certain things on certain days as a rule. It just doesn't happen.

3) AllieFaye just blew my mind. WHat she said is so true about loving to clean with no time to do it, versus not wanting to clean but wishing you had clean. I AM BOTH of those, alternating at various times, or sometimes at the same time. All I know is that more than anything else, I LOVE TO REST and do nothing at all when possible, lol.

So since the beginning of summer, I've been doing something that makes a huge difference, for the first time ever.

My house kinda logically splits into 2 areas, the Upstairs, where the computer and sleeping areas are, and the Downstairs, where the kitchen and toys are.

I'm good about decluttering and everything has a place. It's the actual cleaning and putting things away that never happens

So, very simply, one day I work downstairs, doing what I please when I please, just keeping in mind that today, I'm cleaning downstairs. The next day, I do the same upstairs.

Sometimes, I totally forget and do the same floor a couple days in a row. Some days I only do the tiniest thing, like straighten the magazines in a bathroom. Somedays, I feel energized and resourceful and accidentally clean the whole floor!

All that matter is, I've quit being a perfectionist and beating myself up about my messy house. I learned THAT from Flylady. And now, although my house is rarely clean, my house is so much cleaner than it has ever been and I'm truly ok with that like I never have been.

Can you tell that I'm excited about this? I feel like I really "grew up" this year when it comes to cleaning house.
post #14 of 86
10/21/08 at 12:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by momma4fun View Post
i recently posted my thoughts, but here's
1) I know what it takes to clean a house. I don't need a list of regular chores that need to be done at certain times.

2) I am way too free-spirited (not that I'm saying it's a good thing) to be happy with such routines. I could see myself trying to get stuff done in the a.m. as a rule, but I can't do certain things on certain days as a rule. It just doesn't happen.

3) AllieFaye just blew my mind. WHat she said is so true about loving to clean with no time to do it, versus not wanting to clean but wishing you had clean. I AM BOTH of those, alternating at various times, or sometimes at the same time. All I know is that more than anything else, I LOVE TO REST and do nothing at all when possible, lol.
This is soooo me. I don't get Flylady. I tried her in the past several times but I just can't do it. Cleaning is already a chore and I would hate it even more if I have to schedule it in, kwim? There's one thing about me that I noticed since I was little is that I clean/reorganize to de-stress. When dh comes home and I'm in the middle of a major cleaning spree, he knows NOT to ask what's for dinner.

I have long made peace with myself that I cannot have a prefectly clean house. Life's too short to worry about shiny sinks and sparkling windows.
post #15 of 86
10/21/08 at 2:24am
I actually liked flylady. Flylady is what got me into my routines and getting our home clean on a regular basis.

I have two issues with flylady. One is the christian tone of some of her emails. It's been a long time, so I can't really remember specifics. I'm not into religion with my cleaning, though. The second, is the visual clutter that overwhelms my inbox. If I could just get the simple cleaning missions, or whatever they're called, I'd be happy.
post #16 of 86
10/21/08 at 9:23am
Thread Starter 
Well, today our family is going to the state fair so I will not be around, but here is day 2....


Day 2

In day 2, flylady talks about getting dressed to lace up shoes, using sticky notes as a beginning control journal, and reading & not being overwhelmed by her emails.

getting dressed to lace up shoes .... I agree that getting dressed is important. As a sahm, the earlier in the day that I can get dressed, then the more I get done earlier. However, I take issue with the shoes. I am not going to go on a long rant about this although flylady really pushes my button here. Shoes are a cultural thing. If having your shoes on in the house helps you get to business, then great but do not think that you have to put shoes on to get to business. Someone previously stated that they put their watch on to "stay on task". Getting dressed is personally enough for me.

sticky notes on bathroom mirror ... this is whatever reminds you to do the daily things that you are trying to make new habits. I put a note in my calendar because I look at it first thing in the morning and then throughout the day to remind myself of the day's events and what I need to get done. Other places to leave yourself notes are the fridge and tv.

reading and not being overwhelmed with her emails ... her emails either help you or they don't. I personally do not like the emails and will never sign up for them again. I know that I do not have to read all of them at one time, but like others have said, they are visual clutter and visual clutter zaps my energy and I do not need it in my life. Yes, I know how to filter emails, but I still eventually have to deal with seeing the massive amounts of email to delete them. If you like emails, then read a little each day and delete the rest, but if you do not I give you permission to ignore her on getting the emails.

Get dressed (or not) and have a great day!
-Rebecca
post #17 of 86
10/21/08 at 9:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
Here's my take on Flylady: she's sharing her system with you, which has worked for her and many others. Take what works for you and leave the rest.

I hear the phrase "shine your sink" not literally but figuratively. If a shiny sink isn't important to you, then there's probably something else that can be your focus point- maybe a specific countertop to clear off, a spot that takes only a few minutes to clear off and then makes you feel more centered and less "overwhelmed by the clutter." That's the concept that's important- to break the work up into little steps and do small areas so you see improvement without knocking yourself out.

Other important pieces of the system are to do work in small, workable chunks of 15 minutes or so, and to realize that it's OK to "not finish". If you do a little and there's improvment, it's a sucess. Too many people say "I'll never finish so why bother starting?" and that's what her system is trying to fix.

Also, for people who don't even know where to start, she says "go clean your sink." It's not that the sink is so important, it's just that it's SOMEWHERE concrete to begin, for those who are too overwhelmed to even start.
:
Yes!
For me it's my dining room. If it is tidy/clean and functional then we tend to keep the rest of the house picked up. Not sure WHAT it is about that room but it seems to be "how goes the dining room goes the house" around here.

The
Quote:
small, workable chunks of 15 minutes or so, and to realize that it's OK to "not finish".
has changed my life. Seriously. Frequently I will MSN/call/tell my friend "I can do anything for 15 minutes, I'll be back." and then actually do it. For me 15 minutes is doable, "clean the living room" is not. And that housework done perfectly isn't the only housework that matters.
post #18 of 86
10/21/08 at 1:54pm
I've tried FlyLady. I could never keep up with cleaning my sink, because I can never keep up on the dishes enough (and I don't have a dishwasher) to make that even feasible - and the dishes are more important to me.

A lot of my problems with cleaning is that I really *don't* know how to do a lot of cleaning - get stains out of clothing and laundry; getting the grime off the stove without stripping the paint, etc... so I like that she gives very specific instructions - but especially with my LO, the routines she recommends could take me all day.
post #19 of 86
10/21/08 at 2:09pm
Heh. I tried Flylady once. She lost me on Day 2. Wearing shoes in the house? Reading her millions of emails? No.

I wish I had been able to make it work for me, though. I know I'd feel a lot better if my house wasn't such a sty.
post #20 of 86
10/21/08 at 3:17pm
What if we built a monthly calendar for those of us who want to use the Flylady's approach towards cleaning but don't necessarily want to have the whole Flylady experience? I would be willing to maintain the calendar using google calendar and then it would be available for everyone.

anyone interested?