Does anyone think they are not that hard? - Page 2

[nethead]

I think sometimes when they are still infants you don't realise how much more 'work' it is until you only have one to look after, usually because you're so busy just doing it.

[MamaRabbit]

grahan, mine never napped well together until about 13/14 months. Until then they were in separate rooms for naps for the most part.

[Novella]

Yes, it's gone very well for us.

We did find that twins was crazier than adding singletons to the pack. But when we hear some other parents talk about their sleep deprivation, how Baby completely changed their lives, etc, etc, we are left We barely identify with that stuff in our twin experience, and singletons were rather blissfully uneventful (in only the right ways!)

Not sure if that's b/c our kids are healthy, happy, and fairly easy-going. Or if it's our perspective. People often comment about how relaxed we are (Again, I'm )

[nd_deadhead]

Our twins were our first (and last). We often thought that just one baby would be boring, and DH and I would have to share! At the same time, the first two years were a challenge, mostly in getting enough sleep, and making sure they didn't bite/hit/throw blocks at each other. We didn't leave them alone for 5 seconds until they were 2 or so (it's been a while, I forget!).

I think two at a time is MUCH easier than two a year apart. They eat the same food (off the same spoon, early on), they nap at the same time, they do the same things. I never had to deal with "How come big brother can do that and I can't?" or "How come little brother can get away with that and I can't?"

I realize that not knowing any different makes it easier for me to say that it wasn't that hard. I didn't change any more diapers than a mother with two singletons - I just got it over with in 3 years, instead of extemding it out to 5 or 6!

Now that my "babies" are 14 years old, I am really reaping the benefits. My sons are best friends, and they have such a cool relationship! I never got along that well with my brothers.

[homebirthing]

I do that my perspective is different because I am not sleep deprived at all. They usually go to bed around 7pm and don't get up until 7am. They nurse seperately, so I don't get up either. In the morning, they are usually up for 20 minutes or so. Smiles, coo's, diaper changed...then they are asleep for at least an hour or two. I get my stuff done as best as possible. Have some coffee...


They are both asleep right now.


But the laundry...now that is a whole other story!

[DragonflyBlue]

Yeah, you've gotten lucky.

My twins were number 7 & 8. I knew what I was in for in terms of one baby at a time. But two? I seriously think the first year was total hell. The second year was almost as hard. They are five now and only recently has it become any easier. They are VERY active, very verbal and both have tempers. Most days aren't too bad, but there are days when I think I might like to run away for a bit. LOL

I love my twins, don't get me wrong. But I am always tired, always on my toes and always looking for the day it gets "easy." HAHA

Maybe it's my age, I had my other kids when I was younger and I had so much energy. I'm 42 now and just worn out.

[herdingkittens]

Originally Posted by DoulaSarah

I do that my perspective is different because I am not sleep deprived at all. They usually go to bed around 7pm and don't get up until 7am. They nurse seperately, so I don't get up either. In the morning, they are usually up for 20 minutes or so. Smiles, coo's, diaper changed...then they are asleep for at least an hour or two. I get my stuff done as best as possible.

Annnnndddd....you're NOT drugging them?! Just a joke. But, WOW! I am slightly envious. Okay, I AM REALLY ENVIOUS!!!! Yes, I remember what sleep does, and how happy and good one feels....but it is sadly a distant memory. Mine are still up all night (especially for a party that I don't want to be invited to at 3am!). Gives me a little hope....

[carycaj]

I could have written this thread! But, I agree, it is just that they are both easy babies. I went into this expecting the worst and was pleasantly surprised. I LOVE having twins! What an honoring experience! My ds1 and ds3 were NOT so much (easy). But, I also waaay lowered my expectations. I don't try to cook a great gourmet meal, my house is pretty messy, there are always dishes and laundry needing to be done, I send my dh out to shop and run errands and I have learned to be TOTALLY OK with that. So, when I am just hanging out at home with the babies and the other kiddos, it is really great!

[uccellina]

I think we got lucky. Even when our babies are difficult, they're not THAT difficult. Sometimes I actually wonder if we're doing something terribly wrong, because we're not miserable and exhausted when everyone seems to think we should be.

[MamaRabbit]

Originally Posted by herdingkittens

Mine are still up all night (especially for a party that I don't want to be invited to at 3am!). Gives me a little hope....

Yeah, what's up with the 2 and 3am parties?!?! I never had that problem with my singletons. I think they just feed off each other and keep each other way too amused.

[f&p'smama]

Originally Posted by MamaRabbit

Yeah, what's up with the 2 and 3am parties?!?! I never had that problem with my singletons. I think they just feed off each other and keep each other way too amused.

Yes! They feed off each other. That's one of the things I find hard now.

How hard they are has changed so much over the last 3-1/2 years. Phoebe was a mellow infant & Fiona was a fussy, cranky difficult little thing. Twin Fionas would have done me in, but if I'd had twin Phoebes, I'd have thought I was a fantastic mother and wondered what all the fuss about how hard twins are was about. Still as individuals now they're hard in different ways. Phoebe is very emotional and fiercely independent. Fiona is more mellow about some things, but is a spitfire and is always pushing limits. I appreciate that they're not difficult in the same ways, though.

I feel like there are things that have been easier about having two, such as having the baby was no big deal for them & they seem to truly love him. Most of our playgroup has had babies in the last year and it seemed to be very hard on the singleton children. My girls play together and are each other's best friend. I love watching them together. But when they've been in tough developmental patches, they've both been there and that's what I still feel like having twins is hard. Tantrums in stereo. Both running from me at the park. Etc, etc, etc.

I do love having twins & am happy they were born together. I am happy for myself that the baby is a singleton, but for him, I wish he had a twin.

[Kendra_]

There are some day's when i think it's pretty darn easy.. Of course there are some moments when I feel overwhelmed and some days when I don't get to shower. But I can't complain all that much.. I really enjoy being a mama of twins. And I'm sure I'll enjoy it even more once i start getting a little more sleep!

[sarbear]

Originally Posted by DoulaSarah

I do that my perspective is different because I am not sleep deprived at all. They usually go to bed around 7pm and don't get up until 7am. They nurse seperately, so I don't get up either. In the morning, they are usually up for 20 minutes or so. Smiles, coo's, diaper changed...then they are asleep for at least an hour or two. I get my stuff done as best as possible. Have some coffee...

Okay, HOW did you do this?? Or, did they just do it themselves? If so, you are one lucky woman! I'm assuming when you say they 'don't get up' you mean they still wake to nurse several times... I think if they slept through 12 hours it would just be too good to be true

[herdingkittens]

Originally Posted by sarbear

Okay, HOW did you do this?? Or, did they just do it themselves? If so, you are one lucky woman! I'm assuming when you say they 'don't get up' you mean they still wake to nurse several times... I think if they slept through 12 hours it would just be too good to be true

Yes, PLEASE enlighten us! I assumed you meant they slept 12 hours straight. But now it doesn't make sense, because, gee, I think there would be some serious engorgement!

[Intertwined]

My babies sleep through the night most nights. : Ben still wakes at midnight for a snack but they've been sttn since they were 6 weeks old. Don't throw things at me! I promise I just got lucky. I did NOTHING to make them that way. Claire was up every 45 minutes last night because I think she's growth spurting and I was NOT amused!

[dknees]

I think you're very lucky.

I had twins in August, and it's been chaos and very little sleep for a couple of months now. I knew it was hard, but didn't realize HOW hard until our baby girl was hospitalized last week. She's been there for a week, and it's amazing how easy it is with just one baby (I also have a 3yo ds). : I have so much "free" time now (when I'm not at the hospital) that I actually am thinking of cooking a few meals to freeze for when she comes home in a few weeks and things get really hectic again.

[MamaRabbit]

Whew, I just got the feeling back in my left arm. Getting both babies to sleep at night is so hard with laying on my back and nursing them into oblivion. THough I'd better get to bed because they'll take turns waking up at night to nurse. The baby that is more interested in solids in the evening is sleeping 4 hours in one stretch but the other is still at 2 - 3 hours.

dknees, why is your baby in the hospital? That must be so tough on you and your family!

[Intertwined]

Originally Posted by MamaRabbit

dknees, why is your baby in the hospital? That must be so tough on you and your family!

:

I'm so sorry!

[AmyC]

Originally Posted by DoulaSarah

They usually go to bed around 7pm and don't get up until 7am. They nurse seperately, so I don't get up either. In the morning, they are usually up for 20 minutes or so. Smiles, coo's, diaper changed...then they are asleep for at least an hour or two.

This is pretty true of my two, as well. They are not napping so much during the day, but the nights are golden. And they seem tired after about 20-40 minutes in the mornings, too, but I thought that wasn't likely to pan out (assuming I was misreading them) so I've usually not tried to get them down then. The problem is, they start up fussing and get into this pattern of nursing but not sleeping more than 5-10 minutes. I followed their tired cues after 20 minutes the other day (instead of keeping them up, getting my own breakfast, etc.) and they took solid naps. Even though they'd been asleep all night.

I dunno.

They do wake to nurse at least once in the night, but it's a matter of fussing & rooting enough to rouse me, I get to the appropriate baby so he can latch, and we all sleep on. At this point (they are 13 weeks old) it's very typical for both to go for 9 hours before one will wake to nurse. Sometimes Noel will wake after six hours, but I don't mind, because it's likely that he won't rouse Linus that way (sometimes if they both go really long they both get hungry around the same time and I'm not interested in tandem nursing in the night.)

I don't find the fussy stages/developmental spurt periods to be easy with twins, because they both want to be held (and nursed) all the time, but overall these are great babies and we have some really good days (and usually have stellar nights.)

[kalynnsmom]

It sounds like it depends on the personality of the baibes.

I don't know if my boys are "hard" but I think certain aspects are challenging. My boys are 2 and up until 18 months or so, they woke up AT LEAST 3-4x's a night, and never at the same time. At 2, one of my boys wakes up once, and the other sleeps all through the night. Also, I also have found challenges with them being toddlers.

But even with these challenges, I LOVE having twins.