My baby was starving...

[Kellie_MO4]

So from the getgo Gennavive was a "fussy" baby. I just figured that out of 5 we were bound to get ONE that was fussy, gassy, colicky... something, so it really didn't suprise me that much. I was BFing, as I had 3 of my other 4, and she had a great latch, good suck, no problems... but she started to lose weight. I didn't think it was as much as it was, but I knew it was a little more than she should, but thought that her 2wk check up was coming up and I would ask then, since she was still having dirty diapers and whatnot...

We go in, and they weigh her. My 9lb 9oz baby now weighed 6 lbs 10 oz ... It turns out she is very dehydrated, and we are sent right over to get admitted to the hospital... they get her hooked up to all these machines, give her a bottle of formula to get some food in her right away (and I didn't have anything pumped at that moment), try to draw blood, and eventually get an iv in her. Her veins were too bad from the dehydration, so they get the iv going in her head

For some reason, while she latched fine and sucked, she wasn't getting anything from me. She would eat, and I could pump 2 oz after she was done, si I figured she was eating fine, but nope.. for 2 whole weeks she was barely eating... I stayed in the hospital with her (of course) and pumped milk and bottle fed her. The lactation consultant came up and showed me how to us ethe SNS tube thing, but it is so hard to get the hang of, and really, I don't want her to be frustrated while eating, I just want her to be able to get the food, so I gave up since she kept crying wanting the food and not the dang tube taped to my breast and kept pumping and bottle feeding her. We were there a total of 4 days (got home day before yesterday) and she is not up to 8lbs 4 oz.

No one can tell me what happened. All the lactation consultants keep talking about is getting her back directly on my breast, and while I know that would be best, I just don't know if I *can* do it.. I mean, what if it happens all over again? I feel completely decieved and betrayed by my body right now, I just don't trust it to do what I know it can, what it has before, but for some reason didn't for this poor little baby. I have been pumping and bottle feeding her, supplementing with formula since my supply has taken a huge dive (with my other babes I could nurse, and then still get about 4 oz out of whatever side they just nurse on a half hour prior... right now I'm lucky to get 1.5 oz out of BOTH breasts using a double electric and hadn held afterwards. I am taking Fenugreek, and hopefully that will help my supply so I can just pump and not rely on formula to help feed my baby...

I'm just so mad at myself, for not knowing she was so hungry and so mad at my body for betraying my like it has... She is a completely different baby now, so chill and relaxed, just liek her brothers and sisters were... I jsut can't get over knowing now that all those times she was crying, and I was holding her, trying to comfort her.. all she wanted was to eat... and I didn't know...
and now here I sit, crying while remembering it, with my precious 2.5 week baby girl sleeping on my chest, her breath smelling of formula, her belly full... and hating myself for not being able to take care of her the way I should have... I have been told by my friends that it's not my fault, that I didn't know, that I can't blame myself... but how can I NOT? while it's true that I didn't know, it is *still* my fault... she was given to my husband and I to take care of, to raise, to love and care for, and her first 2 weeks of life are hell because of us... it's just heartbreaking

[lolar2]

My DS is 19 months and we had a similar problem-- luckily the ped caught it after four or five days, but I know just what you mean. I promise he has NO effects from his unpleasant beginning! He is as happy as a toddler can be, and he was a happy, happy baby as well after we got him feeding properly. The problem in his case turned out to be a bubble palate so he never was able to latch onto my flat/ inverted nipples, but I pumped for him for 11 weeks until I stopped responding to the pump.

As far as getting her back on the breast, can you rent a baby scale? If you weigh her before and after nursing, that could alleviate your fear of the same thing happening again and/ or catch it immediately if it does. Also I've been told that domperidone is more effective than fenugreek but I didn't try it.

Another thought: I see you have a two-year-old. Is there any possibility of convincing him to nurse again? That could help increase your supply if the new baby continues to have problems getting milk-- for instance you could have the toddler nurse on one side while you pump on the other. It might temporarily "take milk away" from the baby but it seems to me that the supply stimulation would make up for that.

[saimeiyu]

It really sounds like your baby LOOKS like she has a good latch from the outside, but doesn't really. Can you get her evaluated for tongue tie?
I have a friend that's been supplementing for 3 months, and for one reason or another, everyone she's seen about her bfing problems was convinced she just wasn't making enough b/c of her previous breast surgery...
Only to find out this past week, that the baby's latch sucked because of tongue tie. Her nipples hurt for the first week or so, but then stopped hurting, so no one re-checked her baby's latch. It's very sad.

So... Anyhow, I just wanted to say, get her latch re-evaluated and check for tongue tie.

[homeschoolingmama]

My first daughter wasn't getting any milk. She cried all the time but I just thought that that was just what babies did. I had nothing to compare her to. I brought her in for her check-up and she had lost weight all month. I didn't have any resources like I have now, panicked and gave her formula.
It turned out it was because of the birth control pills I was on. They dried up my milk. What an overwhelming time for all of us!
Don't worry mama. You didn't know. Your sweet little girl is eating now.

[joshs_girl]

Kellie - Marion and I are struggling with the very same problem. She went from 8lbs 5oz at birth to 7lbs 4oz at two weeks. Luckily, no dehydration or hospitalization were needed in our case. She gets some breast milk, but not a lot. When we started weighing her, I found she could nurse for twenty minutes per side and get in only 8 grams in a forty minute nursing session - that's just a quarter of an ounce! And like your little one, she just seemed colicky - after nursing, she wouldn't show any hunger cues and since this is my first, I just assumed we had a fussy baby.

After finding out her weight loss, we started to go almost exclusively to formula and I pumped. I was so afraid to nurse her - afraid that my body would fail me with no making enough milk and afraid I couldn't trust her to tell me what she needed. So we switched to formula and even with pumping, my supply tanked.

I wanted to give it one last try, so last week, I met with an LC and things have really started to change for us. We have lots of issues, lazy suck, poor latch, minor tongue tie, flat nipples and low supply to name a few. I rented a baby scale though and honestly, that one piece of equipment has overcome all of my fears associated with nursing. Now, if I see she's just taken in 8 grams, I know how much formula I need to give her, which makes sure her needs are taken care of. And since she isn't starving, she doesn't reject the breast anymore either, which does wonders for my mental state.

So the best piece of advice I can give you is to rent a baby scale - it should really help give you a clear picture of what is going on and help you overcome a lot of those doubts and fears.

[Charmie981]

[violets8]

Hi mama,
I feel your pain and have tears in my eyes. My baby was an IUGR baby. I began pumping immediately. The doctors and nurses said he was burning more calories nursing than he was taking in. With him being so little and starving inside of me for over a month I had to give in to the bottle. He is gaining about an ounce a day and is almost 6 pounds. What has been working for us is that I give him pumped milk in a bottle after he has had 2-3 ounces I let him nurse. It makes me sad that I can't just nurse him but keeping my little baby growing is my main priority. If you end up sticking with the bottle formula or breast milk I would say keep letting her latch on for the bonding experience. I am thinking of you and your little daughter. Good luck and happy growing.

[moderngal]

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

:...big hugs mama, you are doing everything you can....enjoy your little one right now....you are a wonderful mama.

[My*Scorpio]

A sure way to tell if baby is getting enough is to count wet diapers. If you're using disposables, baby should have 5 wet diapers per 24 hours. If you're using cloth, baby should have 6-8 wet diapers per 24 hours.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. If you need help, you can contact a La Leche League Leader.

[mytwogirls]

Oh mama, I really have no advice except hang in there, you are a GREAT mommy and I am really sorry you had to go through this.

[VeganCupcake]

I'm really sorry--how hard for you and your baby.

I had a version of this problem, too, for a week or so. My baby didn't lose weight, but she just didn't gain at all. I thought her latch was good, but just a tiny adjustment made a big difference in her happiness and her weight gain.

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by My*Scorpio

A sure way to tell if baby is getting enough is to count wet diapers. If you're using disposables, baby should have 5 wet diapers per 24 hours. If you're using cloth, baby should have 6-8 wet diapers per 24 hours.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. If you need help, you can contact a La Leche League Leader.

Actually, it's not. the acid test is POOPY diapers. a fully bf 7 day old should have 3-5 poops daily, the size of a quarter or larger. wet diaps only count the low cal foremilk, not the rich, sustaining hindmilk. if your baby wets but doesnt poop, she/he can still lose weeight. IBCLC info. NAK

[AlmightyIsis]

I'm so sorry you are hurting about this. I just wanted to say I had a similar situation occur when my son was 4 months old. He'd had reflux from the beginning but I was clueless. By 4 months, he had such bad esophagitis, he was in pain every time he tried to eat. Distracted by my other child, I just didn't tune in that he was nursing less than he should, and he lost weight. I felt HORRIBLE. He was a fussy baby and would only nurse practically in his sleep, but I only saw this for what it was in retrospect.

You and your baby will heal from this I promise. Just be gentle on yourself.

[Kellie_MO4]

Thank you all so much for your support. It's just so hard to even think about, my poor baby We have an appt tomorrow afternoon, so here's to hoping she weighs more than she did on sunday (which was 8 lbs 4 oz).

Where in the world would I find a baby scale to rent?

[joshs_girl]

Kelli - use this website http://www.ilca.org/falc.html and one of the LCs in your area should have a scale to rent.

Also, ask your pedi if you can just come in and use their scale to weigh her before and after nursing.

[funfunkyfantastic]

I cry for you! Oh I can only imagine how much that hurts! *hugs* There are times when my baby will cry so hard she will lose her voice and start making horrible noises in an attempt to continue crying. When that happens I almost want to cry... i feel like i'm evil or something that she should have to cry that hard! It's usually just for a few minutes while we're changing her... or sometimes in the evening when she's really gassy. I hate to hear her cry. One day i was at a restaurant changing her in the bathroom... and she was screaming her head off like usual. This lady comes in and is commenting on how adorable she is and asking how old she is and such. And then she's like "doesn't it just break your heart when she cries?" and I thought for a second and said "yes, yes it does." It's just the most helpless feeling!

[septbabymama]

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. But please don't blame yourself. Who knew this sort of stuff could happen? You were seeing wet diapers and you were nursing her so who could've known? I certainly have never heard of something like this happening so I appreciate you sharing your story. Please focus on the positives. Your daughter is happy now and healthy and that's what matters.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I just happened across your post and wanted to offer you my baby scale. I bought it when ds was a baby so that I could weigh him when I stopped doing wbv. If you want the scale I will mail it to you ASAP free of charge. Drop me a PM if you want it.

It is the kind that you lay the baby on kinda long plastic shelf with high sides reminds me of some they still use at my local WIC office.

[Kellie_MO4]

I just PM'd you... thank you SO much for the offer!!!