PPD=comparing myself to others?

[azgirl]

Well my PPD has gotten so much better, but I am still struggling a bit! It seems that my biggest "symptom" is comparing myself to others and falling so short. I am doing okay, but not doing anything "extra" very little cooking, no gardening, no projects etc. I feel like all I do is self-help stuff (exercise, therapy, dates with DH) which is probably why I'm doing better. But still I feel like such a loser. Some of my friends have lots of kids and get so much done! I have always had poor time management skills but PPD has made that so much worse because everything seems really overwhelming. My therapist has helped me set goals and make lists and routines, so I am making slow progress...Just wondered if you guys feel like this comparing thing is a big part of PPD? I have never had it this bad...

[Devaya]

Hhhm...I wonder. I haven't been diagnosed with PPD, but have been wondering on and off over the last few months if this is what's up with me (Anxiety, crying angry/violent thoughts, suicidal thoughts etc), and a complementary therapist I went to said it sounded like a possibility. But I've been too scared to go to the doctor bc I don't want to be put on medication etc....and because I'm up and down more than just down IYKWIM. But I'll give my 2 cents if thats okay?

Comparing myself to other people is THE prime cause of what's been making me feel miserable lately. I've always been prone to it but its been much worse since becoming a mom. I think its bc there's so much pressure on us to be perfect mothers and to also be superwoman and 'do it all'. I constantly beat myself up for not doing enough and not keeping on top of the housework or doing enough of my projects. WHen I just focus on what's right for ME and what I need rather than what others are doing, I feel tons better. But its so hard to do. I don't know if its a specific symptom of PPD though.

Keep doing what you are doing - sounds like it is working great for you. Giving time to nurture yourself and your relationship is good medicine IMO.

[mom0810]

Yes. Comparing yourself to others=low self esteem which is a huge part of depression. Are you taking meds? They were a huge help to me as far as that went. You are feeling like you come up short because of your illness, not because you actually do. You sound like you are making huge efforts and huge progress. All I can say is that the meds help you to feel so much better about yourself... they give you a boost.

Just know that what you are feeling is a symptom of your illness, and NOT the truth.

[azgirl]

Yes I'm on meds! They have helped so much!! Thanks for the reminder that the feelings are part of the illness...I just feel like such a loser these days I was so sick with PPD that now I have lots and lots of help. So, I feel like not a real mom because I get breaks etc. I keep telling myself that 4.5 months in the NICU takes a while to recover from, but I also feel like I should be over it already!

[mom0810]

Please be kind to yourself, honey. Read your posts above and then think to yourself what would you say if your friend was writing the post and not you? We are always so hard on ourselves. Be as loving to yourself as you would be to another person.

You sound like you expect a lot of yourself. Are you a perfectionist? One time, a therapist described PPD as a "perfect storm." One of the ingredients for that storm was a perfectionist personality. Could that fit you at all? If so, please cut yourself some slack. NO ONE is perfect or does it all right, all of the time. Please please please do not be so critical of yourself and understand that when you do feel that way, a lot of it is PPD talking. You are doing great and working so hard. I give you lots of credit.