lost custody of child/ psych. said breastfeeding child too dependant on mom - Page 2

[Mila6]

Thanks for the sound advice. I do not have a lawyer, or money at all for one but getting one when I can is my first priority. Verbal agreements with this very, very, crafty person are a joke. I will try and document things, it sounds so easy but seems so impossible to have the time. I did already ask to provide daycare. The entire focus of my life has been to choose to be poor rather than have them in daycare. He had a psych say the child was too dependent on me ( she has a very social life, had been in daycare-very unfortunately, for a long time period when I was married to and getting divorced from this person) her life was so open and social. I did have some good recorded stuff, being abusive, threatening to get custody of her, but it didn't seem to make a difference to the one woman who did the evaluation. He is really careful about what he says or writes now and the times he wasn't recently I don't have. I will try and record. It is inadmissable unless he knows he is being recorded.

I do need to document, I have missed so much these last three months since he got residential custody. I am nursing a baby who wakes up if I get up a.m. or p.m. Thanks so much, I need to have these seemingly obvious things reinforced because with five kids and the entire situation it seems as if there is no time, I am so focused on her current health. I will go to court and try and get more time. I don't know when, maybe January, I have her over the Christmas break this year because he took her to S. America over the entire break last year. She is sick frequently with him, she was last year when it went to 50/50 custody. I spend all of my money on food, tinctures for her.

[cinnamonamon]

Originally posted by Meiri
Why would the county now be depriving your children by making your DH pay for the past? I understand some places bill for the absent father to cover what they had to pay in Welfare or whatever, but at this point he isn't absent. They're making life worse for the kids in the present over what happened in the past, in effect punishing them rather than him. I guess it's unusual for the father to reappear??

I don't know anything about Mila6's situation, although I am struggling not to over it, but I wanted to coment on the child support thing.

If I remember correctly (and this is from when I was in MI, so it could vary from state to state), if a father (or mother of course) racks up a "bill" from not keeping up with child support, then it has to be paid back no matter if he's living with his family or not. This is because the gov't considers that their money, not the mother & childrens (since the gov't was theoretically supporting the family).

I actually had a friend whose brother had to pay the state even though the woman & child were living with him in his parents house. It took them 6 months to get it straightened out, and he never received his money back. The funny thing was, they figured his income in when they decided how much assistance she was to receive!


Anyway, many s to you, Mila -- my heart goes out for you & your poor little girl. Just a suggestion, though -- I would take him up on the extra visitations, then document them & when you go back to court later pull them out & say "since he's giving them to me anyway..."