I need some help...

[AdronsCatherine]

Ok, so I admit that I really have no idea about caring for an uncirc'd penis, but I have come to despise my pediatricians, as they *obviously* know less about it than I do.

At Noah's 15 month checkup, our formerly wonderful ped retracted Noah and informed me that I needed to do it daily. Ok, didn't sound right, but I wasn't sure. I tried it the next day, and that poor child screamed bloody murder as soon as I touched him. At his 18 month checkup, he did the same thing, and it was entirely my fault, as I didn't realize I could (or should!!!) tell him to leave Noah alone. I trusted this doctor, and felt like I was failing my child by not "properly" caring for him. To this day, Noah won't allow strangers to change his diaper, and he freaks out whenever he sees the dr. Gee, I can't imagine why :

We saw a different dr in the practice last week for his 2 year checkup, and I told her not to retract him. She got terribly nasty with me, and proceeded to tell me that if I didn't start taking better care of him, he'd "be seeing Mr. Urologist and will get a new 'do"! I left there absolutely furious, and started asking my best friend what to do, as she's a nurse and has worked in pediatric urgent care. She pretty much confirmed that he's old enough to start retracting, and that it probably isn't hurting him, it's just the memories of the pain in the past that are making him cry. Also, the tissue doesn't contain oil glands, so if I didn't do something to stretch it out, it would tighten up and cause him to be unable to urinate.

So, feeling like complete poop, and like a horrid mother, I very gently tried to see if his foreskin would move, and poor Noah screamed and twisted away. Yeah, not gonna push that one!

Now I don't know what to do, what to tell people who treat me like I'm dumb, and how to make my sweet baby boy more comfortable. I can only imagine the pain I have inflicted on him, both directly and indirectly, and want to make it stop! Please help!!!

[Claire and Boys]

Oh mama! Your doctors and your nurse friend are just SO wrong. read this from the AAP:

http://www.aap.org/publiced/br_uncircumcised.htm


really, your doctor is just setting Noah (btw, great name, my son is a Noah as well!) up for pain, infections and eventually a circumcision. What he is doing is completely unethical. I would definitely be reporting her for that as well as her unprofessional attitude towards you (and I would FOR SURE be getting a new doctor.

As far as what to do now - just leave it alone and it will be fine.

[LavenderMae]

They dangerously wrong and misinformed. My 7 yr. old doesn't retract yet and that is perfectly normal. What can and does cause problems is forceful retraction/cleaning by care givers and doctors.

[MommaLauraRN]

My Noah was partially retracted by a former pedi when he was 4 months old (enough for him to scream and cause several tears in his foreskin. We left it alone and he healed fine. He retracted himself for the first time when he was just over 4 years old (and has been ever since-ha!) I'm sure there was no permanant damage done. Just leave it alone and it will heal itself...and make sure you are very clear with doctors/nurses that they are NOT to touch his penis! There is no reason to.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I am so sorry you are surrounded by medical professionals who have no idea about the care of theintact penis :

The only one who should ever retract is the boy anyone doing so that is not him is abusing him. Please read the stickies at the top of the forum Warning and Definition of Retraction

I would go so far as to print things off and send it to your ped and the other one that gave you such a hard time and inform them that by retracting they are not only setting up boys for problems down the road but for being sued themselves.

[tammyswanson]

They are the ones who don't know what they are talking about..you are the smart one! I was amazed how clueless doctors are, they are not taught about intact penises in med school, or nursing school. They have no idea you are supposed to leave it alone. The resident tried to retract DS when he was 3 days old (lucky for me my hands were down there and I stopped them from doing any damage). Then I told the ped I took DS to at 3 weeks to not retract him (as I hovered over so he wouldn't try and pull a fast one on me), the guy said, "Oh I won't do that until he's 6 months old". Uh, no, you won't do it at ALL.

You are right in trusting your instincts, and you have to watch them like hawks!

[AdronsCatherine]

Thank you so much, mamas! I really appreciate the support! I feel so bad for my little man, but I know what to do from now on...!

Now, how do I go about finding a ped that doesn't believe in mutilating my kids? And what *do* I do to "clean" him? Just normal bathing and diapering, I assume?

[Claire and Boys]

Just wipe the outside like a finger. That's really all you need to do. It's all I've ever done with my 2 intact sons and neither of them has ever had a problem. I'm convinced that the vast majority of penis problems you hear of (all the people that know with sooo many relatives and friends of friends that had to be circed later due to "infections") are directly related to retraction and overzealous cleaning.

Basically it's like you would clean a girl, you don't goa round digging around inside and scrubbing because the vagina is a self cleaning organ, so is the intact penis. No extra maintenance required.

[glongley]

You can have Doctors Opposing Circumcision send a packet of information and warning to these practitioners. They do this all the time (unfortunately). It might not endear you to much to these practitioners, but it make educate and scare them enough to keep them from harming other intact boys.
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...t/contact.html

Also, there is a new article out about the problem of forcible retraction by health professionals. You may want to give each of them a copy of this. It is from Kindred Magazine, the Australian equivalent of Mothering, and written by John Geisheker, the Executive Director of Doctors Opposing CIrcumcision, and Jack Travis MD, and is well-doucmented.
http://www.kindredmedia.com.au/libra...ractions/401/1

Gillian

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

1) wipe like a finger from base to tip during diaper change
2) wipe like a finger from base to tip in the bath and/or give a swish lightly in the water
3) the end

[Night_Nurse]

Originally Posted by AdronsCatherine

... as she's a nurse and has worked in pediatric urgent care. She pretty much confirmed that he's old enough to start retracting, and that it probably isn't hurting him, it's just the memories of the pain in the past that are making him cry. Also, the tissue doesn't contain oil glands, so if I didn't do something to stretch it out, it would tighten up and cause him to be unable to urinate.

Aww geez...oh no, no, no, no.
I haven't even read any of the replies yet but both your doctor and nurse friend are completely ignorant on foreskin issues. Please do not trust their recommendations. Your son may be retractable at his age but he may not be (some kids aren't until well into the teen years). Nobody should pull his foreskin back but him. Doing so obviously causes him pain. Please just leave it alone. Just rinse it in the bathtub and it'll be fine. No special cleaning care needed right now.
The part that I bolded, what the nurse said, is very harmful to any patients she might be advising. I hope you'll send her AND the pediatrician info from DOC on proper care of an intact penis. Literally hundreds of boys may be harmed by these two medical "professionals" bad medicine.
It's really frightening to me that a nurse told you that. Scary!

Hugs to your little one. I hope he's feeling better soon. In the future, no doc needs to see or touch his penis during a well check-up. And if there is ever a penis problem to see, please keep your hand close to him at all times and tell the doc NOT TO PULL THE FORESKIN BACK, not even one little bit.

[AdronsCatherine]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!

I want to cry now - must be the pg hormones, huh lol! I am so relieved to know that I've not been doing something awful to my son by NOT messing with him!

Thankfully, my friend is back to being a L&D nurse, but as she is pg, maybe I can inform her for her own child's sake... She is wonderful, and loves my kids as much as I do, but anyone can be misinformed.

Thank you so much for the helpful links - I am going to check those out now, and stop worrying about what has or has not happened to Noah. I have always believed that our bodies are pretty good about being self maintaining, and it's good to see that this is true. You mamas are great support - I am so glad for the wonderful resource you are providing here for mamas like myself .

[jessjgh1]

This was just in the mothering email today... almost exactly the same situation...

((Hugs momma))
http://www.mothering.com/sections/ex...s-archive.html
retracted foreskin

...After forcible premature retraction, a baby or child typically cries (or screams), has bleeding, and the foreskin often becomes red and swollen. When this occurs, I recommend that parents put their son into warm bath water (no soap, shampoo, or bubbles) about six times a day. Water and air will help to heal the wound, and the boy will be able to urinate in the water, which will minimize the pain. Remember, urine is sterile and the child can be rinsed off before being taken out of the tub.

The most important thing that you, as your son's mother and protector, can do is to become educated, which it seems you have done, and then to be vigilant. Go to www.nocirc.org, click on Directory in the menu at the top of the homepage, again on Important Articles, and read the second, third, and fourth articles. Also, click on the pamphlets on the homepage and read three, four, six, and seven. Once you've done that, you'll know more than most doctors learned in medical school and you'll know how to care for your son and what he needs should a problem occur.

I'm going to recommend these link, which may be a repeat from posts above and the nocirc links
http://www.nocirc.org/articles/aap.php
AAP Statement on Care

Summary: Care of the uncircumcised boy is quite easy. "Leave it alone" is good advice. External washing and rinsing on a daily basis is all that is required. Do not retract the foreskin in an infant, as it is almost always attached to the glans. Forcing the foreskin back may harm the penis, causing pain, bleeding, and possibly adhesions. The natural separation of the foreskin from the glans may take many years. After puberty, the adult male learns to retract the foreskin and cleanse under it on a daily basis.

http://www.nocirc.org/articles/fleiss2.php
Protect Your Uncircumcised Son, by Paul M. Fleiss, MD, MPH, FAAP. Mothering Magazine, November/December 2000.

Your son's foreskin is too tight, it doesn't retract. He needs to be circumcised.
The tightness of the foreskin is a safety mechanism that protects the glans and urethra from direct exposure to contaminants and germs. The tight foreskin also keeps the boy's glans warm, clean, and moist, and when he is an adult, it will give him pleasure. As long as your son can urinate, he is perfectly normal. There is no age by which a foreskin must be retractable. Don't let your doctor or anyone try to retract your son's foreskin. Optimal hygiene demands that the foreskin of infants and children be left alone. Premature retraction rips the foreskin of the penis open and causes your child extreme pain. There is no legitimate medical justification for retraction. The child's discomfort is proof of that.

Jessica