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Dev. Info from FP doc - need to stop night nursing b/c you're training child to be awake  

post #1 of 19
10/21/08 at 5:01pm
Thread Starter 
We don't really do WBV, but went to one earlier this month b/c we wanted to establish both dd and ds as patients. You get these half sheets (I suspect it's meant to be put in a three ring binder since they're hole punched) telling you what's developmentally appropriate for your child. Dd is 9mos old and so we got the corresponding sheet.

On the sheet it tells you that babies dd's age need to be night weaned because allowing them to wake up at night to eat is training them to be awake at night. I understand that for some mothers they may want to nightwean this early because it's disturbing their sleep. On the other hand, for moms who are away during the day this type of advice could undermine the bfing relationship and lead to early weaning (not just night weaning).

It's been a few weeks since we went, but I've had this nagging feeling that I should write to the doctor because I don't think that's good blanket advice to give. I had planned on writing a letter and then include information from Kellymom about night waking, night weaning. It wasn't something my doctor even discussed, but since this is being passed out by all peds/fam practice docs w/this very large clinic I feel like I should do something.

So...what do you think?
post #2 of 19
10/21/08 at 5:03pm
You go, Pampered_Mom!
post #3 of 19
10/21/08 at 5:11pm
Sounds like we have the same Dr. My LO just had her 9 m,onth visit yesterday and we got the same info. I tossed it, but now you've got me thinking I should say something too. I WOH and our night nursings are sooo important to us!!!
post #4 of 19
10/21/08 at 5:55pm
We got the same thing at our 9 month visit...
post #5 of 19
10/21/08 at 6:29pm
This is probably awful, but I learned after our 4-month visit when it was implied that "babies are capable of self-soothing and I should think about putting DD in her own room," that maybe the doc isn't the person I want to go to with DD's sleep issues. Now when they ask about when & how much she sleeps, I just say, "Oh, she's sleeping great. No complaints."

I like some of the things about our ped (mainly our delayed vax schedule), but I also am learning when to nod and smile and then go home and do what I want to do as a parent.

Of course, that's not at all helpful in the context of lactivism and educating other mamas, but it keeps my sanity. I'm finding that some AP ideas just aren't widely encouraged by docs, and I'm also surprised at how often their "medical advice" blurs with parenting advice.
post #6 of 19
10/22/08 at 4:13pm
"allowing them to wake at night to eat"
Um... how exactly are you supposed to prevent them from waking at night? Drugs?
post #7 of 19
10/22/08 at 4:29pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
"allowing them to wake at night to eat"
Um... how exactly are you supposed to prevent them from waking at night? Drugs?
I haven't the foggiest idea. They obviously haven't met dd...if she wants to eat there is nothing else she will accept as a substitute.

I probably should have just thrown out the papers because going into it I already knew it wasn't going to be something that would a) interest me or b) I would agree with. I didn't want nor expect the doctor to be supportive of our parenting practices (The nurse was incredulous when we mentioned that our 3 1/2 yr old ds doesn't draw stick figures...she just couldn't wrap her head around the concept that he doesn't because we don't direct his creation of art. She put down "not given opportunity" which isn't true, but whatever!

Anyway...if I had discussed it with the family practice doc I'm sure it isn't something she would have agreed with and they just give them out because it's generated by the pediatricians in the clinic, BUT at the same time as suebee79 pointed out nighttime nursings can be very important to moms who WOH. If mom doesn't have outside support this kind of advice could be very damaging. I guess I will write the letter...now I have to figure out who to send it to.
post #8 of 19
10/22/08 at 5:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
"allowing them to wake at night to eat"
Um... how exactly are you supposed to prevent them from waking at night? Drugs?
You're not supposed to prevent it; you're supposed to sleep train them to self-soothe and go back to sleep on their own.

I would much rather just keep nursing my baby, but hey.
post #9 of 19
10/22/08 at 5:27pm
So, now 9mo olds are supposed to self-soothe? What, are they supposed to get out of bed and get themselves a tall glass of cow's milk out of the fridge? Are they supposed to read a nice book to relax? Jump in a nice hot bubble bath? Honestly, what exactly are the self-soothing options for a 9 mo old? Are any of them healthy? The one's I can think of off-hand are all maladaptive.

Seriously, I'm 32, and I'm not always capable of self-soothing. That's why I have DH, family, friends, & MDC!!!!
post #10 of 19
10/22/08 at 6:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
"allowing them to wake at night to eat"
Um... how exactly are you supposed to prevent them from waking at night? Drugs?
Ferberize.

Go for it Pampered Mom! It can't hurt to try.
post #11 of 19
10/22/08 at 6:31pm
It sounds like these "sheets" are coming from an outside (commercial) source.

Is there a copyright or author's name or publishing company name anywhere on there?
post #12 of 19
10/22/08 at 6:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romana9+2 View Post
You're not supposed to prevent it; you're supposed to sleep train them to self-soothe and go back to sleep on their own.

I would much rather just keep nursing my baby, but hey.
Oh. Yeah, that does make more sense. That pamphlet is still : though.
post #13 of 19
10/22/08 at 9:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by pampered_mom View Post
On the sheet it tells you that babies dd's age need to be night weaned because allowing them to wake up at night to eat is training them to be awake at night.
Ask for the research behind it. That always stumps them. They put the burden on us to prove that breastfeeding/co-sleeping/attachment is better, but really it should be the health profession that has to prove all these relatively new ideas are safe and work better than the "sleep with baby and feed her whenever she asks" model!
post #14 of 19
10/22/08 at 10:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by pampered_mom View Post
She put down "not given opportunity" which isn't true, but whatever!
:

I picture you doing a flying side tackle while yelling "Do NOT draw stick figures! I forbid you!
post #15 of 19
10/23/08 at 3:37pm
Most of those pamphlets have such odd info on them.

Why do kids "need" to draw stick figures? I have a three year old with no desire to do it, though he does big chubby people, cars, trucks, and is trying to do letters but people act like there is something wrong since he doesn't like stick figures.
post #16 of 19
10/24/08 at 4:44pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryJaneLouise View Post
It sounds like these "sheets" are coming from an outside (commercial) source.

Is there a copyright or author's name or publishing company name anywhere on there?
That's a good thought. I can't remember if I kept the sheets, but if I did I'll have to see if there's anything like that on there. I don't remember there being anything, but I'll have to see. It would be a good idea to send a letter to both the clinic and the publisher then.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beka1977 View Post
:

I picture you doing a flying side tackle while yelling "Do NOT draw stick figures! I forbid you!
No...I only do that when my MIL is here and bosses ds around when she "helps" him draw, create art.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel's Kitty View Post
Why do kids "need" to draw stick figures? I have a three year old with no desire to do it, though he does big chubby people, cars, trucks, and is trying to do letters but people act like there is something wrong since he doesn't like stick figures.
Darned if I know. My sis who teaches 4K in our city thought that seemed a little silly for them to expect him to do at his age. I would guess it's supposed to demonstrate some kind of cognitive developmental milestone or something like that. I think it sounds rather silly if you ask me.

I'll post my letter when I get around to writing it. Gotta wait until dh has time off from work so I can actually put together a coherent thought.
post #17 of 19
10/24/08 at 6:20pm
Did they ever stop and think that maybe babies are SUPPOSED to wake up during the night to feed? I mean, seriously. If the kid is healthy and "normal", and the parents don't care, why should doctors think it's a bad thing? Some people's kids...
post #18 of 19
10/25/08 at 8:35am
Maybe someone should tell my DD (shes 21 months old) she isn't suppose to wake up in the middle of the night for a drink or food. When shes going through a growth spurt she still wakes up for a midnight snack. Of course, Im 24 and I STILL wake up at times when Im hungry and want something for a snack..
Its like the annoying people that want to know if your 2-3 month old is sleeping through the night.
post #19 of 19
10/26/08 at 9:30pm
Though this isn't exactly the same thing, I think this article by Kathy Dettwyler is related in that she discusses the normal course of infant development and sleep behavior. For those of you not familiar with her work, Kathy is in the Department of Anthropology at Texas A&M. She has done a lot of work on the normal behavior of breastfeeding children, especially the natural duration of breastfeeding. Her articles are a good read.

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

Laurel
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Mothering › Forums › Breastfeeding › Lactivism › Dev. Info from FP doc - need to stop night nursing b/c you're training child to be awake