asked to cover at an up-coming wedding, wwyd? - Page 8

[theboysmama]

UPDATE: We went to the wedding and...

We went to the wedding and I was x-tra cautious to be discrete bcs it was there wedding and i knew that was important to them. I nursed mostly in the mei tai and was always wearing nursing clothes and not a mm of skin was showing ever. I did not cover with a blanket and did not excuse myself to nurse just as we had agreed upon.
The whole weekend went great, the wedding was beautiful, met some new people and had a great time. The groom told me how glad he was that i came and that he was glad we had worked everything out. (this was the day after the wedding just as we were leaving).

We got back sun. night and tues. morning dh gets a voicemail from his bff that he had just received a call from someone complaining about my nursing at the wedding. That he is upset at us and wants to talk. Dh is so upset and hurt by this. I am beyond frustrated. There is absolutely nothing i could have done diff. except cover w/ a blanket or excuse myself every time she nursed which i had already stated ahead of time that i was unwilling to do that but it would be ok for me not to come.

Who calls someone on their honeymoon to complain about their wedding? They were a guest.
I am so frustrated bcs i have been nursing strait through for almost 7 yrs and have never had a prob. now it is someone close to us that is doing this.
I am just letting dh deal w/ this but am saddened that his bff is doing this to us. I am really hoping that they can resolve it w/out ending the friendship.

Thanks for all of your wonderful support before the wedding. Any nice thoughts or prayers would be great.

[churndash]

Well that sucks.

I'm sorry this has upset you. Of course you did nothing wrong. It sounds like the guy was going to find fault with whatever you did from the get-go.

Maybe he will feel differently when he has children.

[runes]

:

I'm so sorry. I was hoping for a happy update, what a weird turn of events.

This kind of comes back to the point I made before, about whether this issue is truly about the possibility of skin showing vs. the act of breastfeeding itself.

It sounds like it wouldn't have mattered how discreet you were, they were bothered by the fact that you were nursing, period. That kind of ignorance and backwardness is hard to counter, it might be best to just let it go, if possible. At this point it seems like the only "right" thing that you could have done was not to go at all, to have spared them all from having to even think about how a baby is eating.

Moot point now, of course.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by theboysmama

We got back sun. night and tues. morning dh gets a voicemail from his bff that he had just received a call from someone complaining about my nursing at the wedding. That he is upset at us and wants to talk.

To what end? The wedding is O-V-E-R . Discussing it can only end badly; what does he expect you to say "my wife is heartily ashamed that someone realized she was bfing under a Mei Tai and nursing shirt"?

I would leave a voice mail back saying, "' "Jim" the wedding is over; enjoy your honeymoon".

If he call back again, "Dude, it's in the past; I'm not getting into it with you. Hey, did you have any bean dip on your honeymoon? Our resort had great bean dip!"

My BIL called us on our honeymoon to tell me that a friend of my parents died (someone I probably met, but was in no way close enough to to merit that type of interruption). This was a follow-up call to the "did you make it there" phone call the morning after we left (9 a.m. seemingly on behalf of my dad) though the weather was sunny/clear and I normally lived in Germany and I no longer regularly informed my parents of my movements.

[mariag]

As crazy as it sounds, I would really try not to stress about it. You came to the decision that you were comfortable, you had fun, the wedding weekend is over. the end. If someone really took the time to call and complain to someone about ANYTHING that happened at their wedding it seems like they have issues.

I really hope this doesn't ruin a long friendship. Just seems like life is too short... Hope it all works out, but really, you know what is important to you, let him say what he needs to and don't fret it. I agree with Emilinne II

best

[Swan3]

Brutal, this was definitely not about covering.

I hope your DH listens to his friend and then reminds him of the agreement you had going in.

Who complained? Could this possibly have been a cultural thing as well (where in some cultures/religions modesty is a much bigger deal?). I just don't get it.

[christyc]

Originally Posted by Emmeline II

To what end? The wedding is O-V-E-R . Discussing it can only end badly; what does he expect you to say "my wife is heartily ashamed that someone realized she was bfing under a Mei Tai and nursing shirt"?

I would leave a voice mail back saying, "' "Jim" the wedding is over; enjoy your honeymoon".

If he call back again, "Dude, it's in the past; I'm not getting into it with you. Hey, did you have any bean dip on your honeymoon? Our resort had great bean dip!"

:

[runes]

Yes, what kind of twisted person calls a groom on their honeymoon to complain about something that happened at the wedding?

[limabean]

Originally Posted by theboysmama

Who calls someone on their honeymoon to complain about their wedding?

: !!!

I don't get people. Even if someone was offended by BFing (which just ... whatever), why can't they just keep it to themselves, or complain about it privately to their spouse or something? Who actually CALLS somebody to complain, as though someone should Do Something About It??? It's so confusing and infuriating. I mean, what exactly does this person want to have happen? And why is the groom taking even more time away from his honeymoon to pass the message along to you? Argh. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP -- I think the pps are right that you should just ignore it -- it's too inane to even spend time on.

[teale]

Originally Posted by kidspiration

Yes, what kind of twisted person calls a groom on their honeymoon to complain about something that happened at the wedding?

I wonder if it was the bride? I don't know a single person verbose enough to contact someone days after their wedding and complaining about a boobie that they didn't see, but may have seen.

I'd tell him to drop it, move on, and not discuss this with him again. Weddings are for celebrating love, not for telling people what to do and how to live.

Yikes.

[theboysmama]

i think that it was the maid of honor (she had a 3 month old that she didn't bring) bcs she gave me a stink eye at the end of the night and I double checked myself and there was NO skin showing, it was dark outside, and I was at a table so I chose to ignore it.
She probably called the bride and mentioned it and.......
I am ignoring it at this point as there is nothing I can do. I am just gonna leave it up to dh.
This is just ridiculous.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by theboysmama

This is just ridiculous.

Yeah, some people's kids .

[FelixMom]

Life's too short for this. Somebody's got issues, that's for sure.

Drop this. Leave it in the past.

[Phoenix~Mama]

The nerve of some people... I can't beleive somone would actually call the the poor honeymooners with this! So sad!

And I totally agree with PP's that that person has some serious issues, besides the being against BFing.

I wouldn't rack your head with how discreet you were or not... it seems whoever this was just has issues.

It blows my mind that people complain to the couple about this, for so many reasons! 1, it's in the past... 2) how is it the couples responsibility of what other people do?

I could say so much but stop before I commit a UAV. :

[ebethmom]

How bizarre! At this point, what is there to talk about?? Sounds like someone is just itching for a fight.

[Funny Face]

The whole situation, from start to finish just saddens me.

I know I'd be very hurt and in a way humiliated if someone were to treat me this way. I hope you can leave it in the past, what a bunch of stinkheads!

[jimblejamble]

edited because I responded to the first post without reading the updates. Oops.

Some people are just looking for a reason to be angry or offended.