I want Dh to want me

[selena_ski]

... is that too much to ask. I feel so bad about myself right now. vent over. (trying to hold back tears) after being on bedrest for over 10 weeks and unable to DTD, we an now and he doesn't want to. I just feel disgusting.

[mochimama]

Oh mama, I am so there with you! I offered to dh the last two weekends in a row and he turned me down Of course tonight he decides he wants to when I have {TMI ALERT} pimple butt and diarrhea. Talk about feeling disgusting! I said yes anyway because it has just been too long.
Not sure what's worse, abstaining AGAIN or saying yes with pimple butt and diarrhea

[AugustineM]

Awww . Did you ask him why? Maybe if you talk about it it would help things. Maybe he's struggling with the end of pregnancy? Whatever it is, you should let him know how it makes you feel to be turned down after 10 weeks. It's important to talk about it and it will help clear the air.

[TefferTWH]

Maybe he's just nervous about the baby? Lots of men have fears that they will hurt you or the baby....

[mochimama]

Yes, I should add that the reason my dh gave me for not wanting to is that he felt somewhat disconnected with this baby and didn't want to invade its bond with me during pregnancy. I'm not sure I understand that completely, but I tried to respect it.
I'm sure your dh has similar reasons. Maybe as the pps suggested, you could talk with him about it.

[Katielady]

get him drunk! he's probably just overthinking it and worried about poking the baby. I bet a nice dinner with wine (sparkling cider for you) would do the trick.

[selena_ski]

Well, during my last pregnancy he was always complimenting me, and making me feel good/sexy. This time nothing. His comments seem more like he is repulsed this time.

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by selena_ski

Well, during my last pregnancy he was always complimenting me, and making me feel good/sexy. This time nothing. His comments seem more like he is repulsed this time.

Aw man. That sucks. Maybe it's just part of the whole phenomenon of partners (and everyone else) being less nurturing when it's not the first pregnancy? I feel like people pampered me a lot more for the first one, and I need it a lot more now! And maybe for him, givign you lots of compliments was part of nurturing you the first time.

You should really talk about this with him and find out what's going on so you guys can work on it. I know it's a hard subject to bring up, but it's important.

[Bella Catalina]

Selena. Mine seems much less interested this pregnancy, too. How ironic that I am in the mood way more than I was last time.

[Baby Makes 4]

He could just be scared. I was just cleared to resume gentle sex after a small abruption earlier this month. DH doesn't want to DTD because he's scared to cause another abruption. I have a feeling that the next 6 months or so are going to be pretty sex free.

[natalieadw]

Couldn't read this thread without sending you some hugs mama! I have no advice as I have the sex drive of a rock

[Phoebe]

With ds1 we didn't do it from about 5 months until 3 months postpartum...that's 8 months! I was kind of ok with it then but I realized it was the worst thing for our sex life in the long run. Second baby we were determined not to let that happen again and we continued to dtd, sparingly, until the end. This time had been great up until about 2 months ago. Nothing, nada. He's just not going for it this time. No big deal. I have a nice pregnant figure. He's just weird about it I've figured out. So, I make jokes about baby reaching down and grabbing at his weiner!! Dh says that logically he knows that isn't possible but it still wierds him out. Oh well. I'll just keep light hearted and tease him about his weirdness until I"m ready to do it PP.

I feel for you though. If I think too much it makes me sad. Your dh probably has some kind of weirdness too.

[slinginhipmama]

Originally Posted by Bella Catalina

Selena. Mine seems much less interested this pregnancy, too. How ironic that I am in the mood way more than I was last time.

I totally agree.:

[asoulunbound]

every time I brought up the idea in the last few weeks I've been turned down or one of us havent felt good. Now I've been put on bedrest so there goes any hopes of dtd for an indefinite amount of time, until delivery and after...
:

[titania8]

i bet he's just scared of hurting you or the baby. but you know better than anyone if that's really what's going on. i'm sorry. i hope things turn around for you soon.

[nerdymom]

Hey, I know what you mean. My DH doesn't seem to want to even touch my breasts, ever since he saw me express colostrum from them, and that was a good 20 weeks ago. The look on his face was pretty hurtful. We talked about it, and he's trying to get over it. But there are still things about my pregnant body that he's not quite comfortable with.