Screaming baby, latching difficulty, patience? - support please

[KBecks]

I am generally a patient person but it's darn hard when your newborn is struggling to latch and crying. We are doing OK with BF, but not 100%, I have given him a few formula bottles each day since maybe day 5 or 6.

I had a very sore right nipple that is now healed, and I am pumping with a hand pump and getting maybe 4 oz a day which is good. Sometimes we do very well with latching and BF, and sometimes I just crack when we've been trying for 5 or 10 minutes with no success. It's so stressful.

I do not like the hospital LCs, who I feel are just barking catch phrases and telling me everything I'm doing is wrong. I have had the most success with latching when I can be alone and in a quiet spot and just work with my son and when I'm feeling relaxed.

However, if we don't get it in the first 5-10 minutes I get stressed and just want something easy.

Both my older sons got breast milk and formula so that is "normal" for our family. I think I am OK with it and I'm happy that my son can get a lot of breast milk even if it's not 100%. I do wonder about formula but don't know if all the dangers of formula that I read are because formula is harmful, or if it's because of the absence of the benefits of breastmilk. Anyway, I kind of don't want to know the answer...... I'm going to keep trying to do the best I can and minimize our formula use.

We got some of the breastflow bottles and I have worried about nipple confusion but he can get on the breast, particularly the left breast successfully quite a bit, but not always.

I'm very tired and stressed, frustrated, all of that. I've gotten muscle stress, TMJ flare ups, and headaches from the frustration and that's when I chose to go and start a formula bottle here and there.

How do you deal with a screaming baby? Do you skip a feeding if you're stuck after several attempts? Any suggestions? Maybe I should meditate or something? I think we are doing pretty well and I'm OK with where we are at, but if I could get a little more BF going that would be wonderful.

[alegna]

Dd was like that sometimes when I couldn't get her latched right.

First- get the formula out of the house.

Second- hide the bottles- put them in the attic- or the back of a closet.

Commit to making the breast work for now.



Now. Find a comfy place. Take deep breaths. Think of calm places and milk flowing and latch your baby on.

Are there specific latching problems you're having? Is baby hesitating? Not opening his mouth wide enough? Slipping off the breast?

good luck!

-Angela

[KBecks]

He opens his mouth but doesn't go for the nipple, the lcs say to force his mouth to nipple but it doesnt work and he resists and I hate doing it. I need to practice the right side, I am a little scared but we probably can.

Right now NAK

[littlecityfarmer]

I once watched a really amazing video from, I think, Dr. Newman's clinic about self-attatchment. Mamma would cradle baby skin-to-skin (shirt open/off) and baby would, within a few moments, find its way to breast. That might be something to try! Don't force it-- let baby find the way. This might not be the best thing to try if you're both melting down, but when you are both calm and alert...

I have had good luck with co-bathing, too. Warm bath, baby calmed down and latched right on.

Also, show baby how to open wide. Show your own wide open mouth, see if baby imitates you!

Do you have anybody helping you with the baby and the older kids? Take care of yourself, too, mamma.

Make sure to pump each time you give a supplemental bottle to keep your supply up, too.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with the hospital LCs. Is there anybody IRL you can ask for good advice? A local LLL or peer counselors at WIC, maybe? MDC is wonderful, of course, too

Good luck and happy babymoon!

[PatioGardener]

Beansmommy has a great idea - try to let baby latch himself. www.brastcrawl.org also has a video.

Also, when you try to latch, make sure you are not pushing the back of his head with your hand or finger. That usually pisses them off and can make them fight the nipple.

When you are latching, make sure baby is below the nipple and has to reach his mouth up to take it - often of you start with them with the nipple at the mouth (not the nipple at their nose) they can't get a good latch.

You can do this - hang in there! Have you called LLL? They often are awesome!

[jlanda]

I'm still working out my similar bf issues, but a lc showed me the self attachment video and it really helped the reluctance to latch problem (now
i'm just in awful pain.) I do have to pinch the areola to help, but he went from latching 40% of the time to 100% with pinching.

And I *think* the video author is Dr. Christina Smilie out of CT

[smanore]

You might find the baby is more willing to latch if you keep his feet from touching the back (in football hold), or side (in cradle or cross-cradle hold) of the chair you're sitting in. If the feet are up against the chair, he'll naturally push off and then arch his back away from the breast. Also, keep the hand that's supporting his head, down under the ears, more at the neck and base of his head. If you're putting any pressure against the back, crown, or top of his head, he'll arch back again. Sometimes just holding him gently up to the height of the breast with your top and bra off are all that he needs. Let him show you how he wants to get on. If he's lost his umbilical cord, a warm bath can do wonders in enticing him on to the breast.
If all that doesn't seem to work, call your LC back and explain to her what felt uncomfortable to you and why. Maybe it's a lack of understanding or a lack of good communication. I hope he's nursing beautifully and that you're blissfully in the throws of your babymoon soon.

[mindymom]

once dh and i spent forty minutes getting ds latched. now he is such a pro i barely have to do anything. it will get easier!

one suggestion - try to have him as calm as possible before you try latching. try feeding him before he gets hungry a couple times, for practice. or have daddy try to cheer him first (daddy doesn't smell like milk, so sometimes it's easier for him to do the soothing.)

i have to agree with the pp about the formula. it doesn't sound as if you're going to be able to keep doing both for long. if you're serious about breastfeeding you should throw it out until you've got the breastfeeding better established.

good luck