How do you not just give in & do formula?

[Joshuasmom16]

Please don't judge me for saying this, but I am leaning more towards starting formula. I think DS is gluten intolerant and I've been restricting his diet, but I honestly don't think I am strong enough to go gluten free myself. He has a few allergies and I know BM Is the best way to help him outgrow his issues, but it's sooo tempting to just switch him over , not that it will be easy to get him off boob b/c he's extremely attached.

Where do you mamas gets your willpower? I have none. after working & commuting, I can't even get myself to the gym. It's a struggle to get ready in the morning. I have a jar of soy formula at home calling to me. (DS has tested negative for soy so far).

advice is welcome.

[nalo]

Be strong! You can do it. Being GF is hard but you can SO do it. I have some advice that may help you decide. Mix some of that formula up and drink 2 ounces of it. Now imagine your LO drinking that every time instead of nursing. I know that some people need to use formula and I totally understand that but it is GROSS if you taste it (actually, if you just smell it). When you look back 20 years from now you will be so happy that you continued to BF your LO and you will know you did everything possible to help him heal and be healthy. If you voluntarily go to formula you will never get back this precious tender time of nursing your LO. It goes so, so fast. And, by the way, I can't seem to find time to work out either. None of us are even close to perfect here but all we can do is try our best. And, it is totally normal to have a serious grief reaction to losing a food - it's not a minor thing. Allow yourself to be pissed off and sad and all that but then bite the bullet and I know you will ultimately be glad you did and your LO will be so much better for having BM as long as you can give it.

ETA: After you try the formula, just throw it out. You don't need it sitting there to tempt you.

[Wugmama]

I did give in when our practitioner (chiro/accu/chinese med), who bf her own dds for 4 years, told me the best thing to do would be to put her on formula. We bought nutramigen, and I made a bottle, handed it to my dh, drove off in our vehicle and parked in a park nearby. It was winter, about 8pm and dark. Apparently the park closed after dark, and a cop car pulled in behind me, got out and shined his flashlight in my face wanting to know why I was in the park after dark. I was crying so hard I could barely talk. He initially thought I had a fight with my husband. He said to me, "You live right around the corner, right?" so had apparently ran my plates. I managed to finally squeak out through sobs that my dh was home giving our baby formula because I had to stop nursing due to medical issues. He said he had 3 kids, he understood and he left me alone. sorry, major OT story, but just wanted to give the pic of how hard it was to switch to formula. but you know what? When I went home i found out the baby wouldn't take it. We ended up getting neocate, and she never really would take it from dh nor me. She would take some from our nanny (I WOH 3 days per week) so at least she got some supplementation in when my milk was low due to the limited diet.

So I was lucky I think. I got to let go of the guilt of nursing (possibly to her detriment), and the guilt of giving her the formula. I tried both. She made the choice to stick to the nursing. I did/do everything I can to make my milk as safe as possible for her. Luckily too she is doing well right now, though still has some patches of eczema primarily on her shoulders, and her weight hasn't caught up to where it should be since she stalled when I was on a horrible TED. Now we just avoid wheat/dairy/eggs/soy/corn/nightshade.

Good luck mama.


Tracy

[Chinese Pistache]

Oh, Tracy, that story is so heartbreaking

Joshuasmom, one of the reasons I don't give my ds formula is because it's basically made of allergens he can't tolerate (corn, dairy, soy). Even the hypoallergenic and elemental formulas are no guarantee. I don't know what I would do if I weaned and then, found out he couldn't tolerate formula. Re-lactating is usually possible, but not always and definitely a huge pain.

I've also been at this limited diet thing for a while since my dd also has food allergies. I'm usually not too overwhelmed by it (at least when I cam stay home in my own little controlled world). I'm not sure how long you've been dealing with this, but it does get easier. Finding, making and eating safe food becomes mostly second nature.

And I do hold out hope that breastmilk is offering the best chance for my los to outgrow their allergies. But even if they don't, breastmilk still has an impact on nearly everything related to their health long term. Allergies are just one part of that.

Only you know what's best for you, but I'll support you no matter what.

[changingseasons]

Originally Posted by Chinese Pistache

Oh, Tracy, that story is so heartbreaking

Yes- I am tearing up over here.

Joshuasmom16 - that thought went through my head SO many times over the past 10 months... and every time that I said, "that's it! I can't take it any more- I give up!" I stopped to think of what my options were. And realized that I really didn't have any, so I had to just suck it up and pull myself through it. Like CP, all the formulas have allergens that my DD would have reacted to (proven by my science experiment of ME drinking the formula.. and DD reacted). Also, I had to consider each time- what would it take to get DD to stop nursing? Could I actually make it through a week (or more) of constant screaming when I refused her the breast? I don't think that I could have. That would have just completely broken me.

Anyway- that's where I get my willpower. Well, it's not really even willpower, it more like a lack of options.

So ultimately, it's your decision. You have to take into account your own physical and mental health, and decide what is best for you and your baby.

[Joshuasmom16]

Thanks Tracy and other mamas for sharing your stories. It really means a lot to me b/c sometimes I feel so alone in my struggles with DS' health issues & with feeding us that I just cry. It shouldn't make me feel better that others go through the same frustrations I do (and worse) but I just like hearing support for a change!! (I posted something in BBI about a recent unfortunate incident at work with my pumping)
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=986401

There is no one in my life right now other than my husband, DS' babysitter, and maybe 2 co-workers that support my BF, pumping & food avoidance. It's really hard to be strong when everyone is telling me to just go on formula. That's why I post here all the time, looking for support!

anyone have some good gluten free food suggestions? I have a whole paycheck 2 mins away, thank goodness. specifically, anyone have any good gluten free bread recipes for bread machine?

thanks everyone!

[jocelyndale]

Originally Posted by Joshuasmom16

anyone have some good gluten free food suggestions? I have a whole paycheck 2 mins away, thank goodness. specifically, anyone have any good gluten free bread recipes for bread machine?

Tinkyada pasta is carried at Whole Foods. It's good stuff. The brown rice pasta at Trader Joe's is just as good.

I make a bread similar to this, but you don't want to make GF bread in your normal machine. There's too much cross contamination risk. As for that recipe, I use tapioca starch for the starch and a mix of whatever flours I have on hand for the rest. I like teff, sorghum, and brown rice flours, with a bit of almond meal tossed in.

As for going GF, it's not that hard. Lots of us have no choice. We certainly manage just fine. Don't look at it as something impossible to achieve. Just think of it as something you must do for your child.

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by jocelyndale

Tinkyada pasta is carried at Whole Foods. It's good stuff.

As for going GF, it's not that hard. Lots of us have no choice. We certainly manage just fine. Don't look at it as something impossible to achieve. Just think of it as something you must do for your child.

I have a half package of Tinkyada on my desk! A friend just dropped it off for me today, given to her by her Seventh Day Adventist mother, (SDA are very healthy, why gluten free pasta is considered very healthy by SDA, we don't know!)

And we really like the gluten-free pancakes I make with a mix. Even DH eats them, and he doesn't have to. And we started buckwheat pancakes - DS chows into them for breakfast and snacks. (I think DH would, too, if they weren't black )

You can do it! Gluten free was so much easier than I expected! Yeah, I would like a huge cinnamon bun once in a while, but I quickly get over it.

[joybird]

All these mamas are right. And it will get easier. I second everything they've said here. There are lots of great GF foods - it just takes some time to adjust.

In case you need another reason to help you keep nursing, consider that every single formula on the market comes in cans that are lined with the chemical BPA, which is known to cause lasting health problems in humans. It is a hormone-disruptor and presumed carcinogen, among other things. The biggest threat is to formula-fed babies, since they are getting all their nutrition from the can. (It leaches out of the lining into the formula/food) Canada recently proposed outlawing BPA in baby bottles and canned food - I'm not sure if they've passed the law yet. Anyway, it is bad stuff. You don't your baby ingesting this chemical on an daily basis.

[amy2be]

random tidbit... the new similac containers don't have BPA...

I just want to encourage you to stick with the nursing, you can do it! With that said, I know my daughters ped DO who is a LC and so pro BFing, stoped at 6 months with her youngest and put him on neocate b/c she mentally was becoming unstable. Remember the big picture, if you being "whole" is the best thing for your baby!

[GoddessKristie]

These mamas have given you terrific advice, but I just wanted to add that there are struggles beyond the guilt when you wean. My LO is starting to nurse less and less. Sometimes he goes 5 days straight without nursing and then picks back up with force. During those 5 days my hormones are soooo messed up. I'm absolutely miserable and it's all I can do to not offer him milk (I want him to wean when he's ready without any influence from me at all).
Remember that nursing your LO is not only best for their physical health it's also best for their mental and emotional health as well. There are lots of mamas who are nursing on TEDs we're nursing on the BED, it's not easy and there are lots of days when I'm upset that I can't just go get a pizza, but it's worth it. You can do it! It's not easy but it's being done all over!
In the end do what's best for your situation. In your heart you know what needs to be done. Just be certain you're not taking the easy way out and sacrificing your LO's benefits along the way.

ETA: I think Bob's Red Mill has a GF bread mix. Doesn't get easier than that! All of our local grocery stores carry BRM products, even the mom and pop ones.

[DaytonsMom]

some great advice here. you can do it mama! ds couldn't have any wheat or dairy in the beggining. After 1 year I started to add it in, but then went a little overboard and he had a major yeast infection that turned into like a wheat allergy it was so horrible. It was really mentally hard for me to give up wheat. I love Carbs!! But I've done it before so i knew i could do it. I think the mental switch is the hardest. but we've found tortiallas and bread and pasta that are all wheat free. so i can still eat the things i love it's just a little different. Like i can still be the simply organic shells and white cheddar that i love so much right now. But i just switch the wheat pasta for brown rice pasta and no one ever knows any difference. Even DH eats it! =) Just don't listen to others that give you a hard time, your doing what's best for you and your baby and that's all that matters. Now that ds is 18 months sometimes the only down time i get during the day is when he nurses! =) I don't know what i'd do without that quiet time to regroup before we're going again!! =) Best of luck to you!


ps: I agree throw out the can of formula. i had one in the begginning with ds and all it did was tempt me. it had to go!!

[LBMarie9]

THANK YOU for this thread---we are newly dairy free (not much to complain about-really) but I have still been pouting to myself and giving in and in turn continuing to hurt my child's health and gut---EVERY voice around me says---jsut give her formula--it's been ahrd---but inside my heart--I KNOW and feel that wouldn't be the best for my daughter (however only you can decide--YOU need to be well physically and emotionally too)--thank you for all your comments--I might post some on my fridge--I've GOT to do this for her! (i hadn't thought about the WEANING process either--that was a great comment---I would just die--she LOVES nursing I couldn't do it so soon!)

[crunchy_mama]

It is hard, really hard at first giving up any whole food group. It will get easier. It really will. Likely that you will feel better off of the gluten as well- I would get lots of yummy subs for the gluten items you like the most to start you out. I would pop around various gf sites and see what is recommended the most as lots of gf items are not really good. The tinkyada pasta is wonderful, I cannot tell the difference myself. I think the Trader Joe's is just as good, but half the price. What ever other items you usually use I would get subs for now, like cereal, bread etc. The www.celiac.com site has a good up to date list on what you need to avoid, you can do this!!!

[rhiasmum]

Hugs to you - I know how difficult it is. We gave up eggs, milk, peanuts and wheat. Like anything it's tough at first. But nowadays it's easier I think . I still read labels like a fiend but there are gluten free sections. The pasta mentioned is great. Brown rice we could have and dd loves it.
Nursing dd#2 had been a struggle from the beginning. She had been supplemented with formula for failure to thrive. But I got her back on breast exclusively. Just looking at her with her eczema and tired from not sleeping (both of us) was enough for me to quit all those foods. I'm a breastfeeder though - it's what I believe to my core what's best for my dd. If that means sacrificing cheese and ice cream and garlic bread for a few years then that's what it means.
You and only you can make the decision for your family. I find it's best to make the decision and not question it. Don't allow anyone to make you feel guilty about your choice.

[tanyalynn]

My impression is that gluten intolerances are some of the last to heal, if at all. Adding in a new restriction may seem difficult, but it gets easier with practice. We're gfcf, no cashews or chocolate for my son, so pretty simple compared to most of the folks here, but I was panicked at first, I had no idea what we could eat on a day-to-day basis.

We started gfcf for me, but I think my daughter may be the last who can actually eat gluten once we're well on our way to healed--she was 3.5yo when we started gfcf (and I felt guilty that I'd missed the signs that she was having problems--I just thought they were variations on normal). So I think the practice we're all getting now (that we all do need, just for a couple different reasons) is going to serve us well in the next several years when hopefully, at some point, some of us will start to heal and not need it. And I agree with pp's that breastmilk is really helpful with healing.

I can't imagine doing this while working. I was a mess when I was working, just trying to keep the household functioning without any dietary restrictions. That would be very hard.

[Joshuasmom16]

thanks so much everyone for listening and supporting. I am def. not giving up on nursing, and I don't even think DS would do the formula anyway since we have already tried soymilk, hempmilk & ricemilk and he didn't like them. I DO want to do everything in my power for his healing, and hearing all your stories makes me stronger. I think I can go gluten free, especially if I know it may help outgrow gluten intolerance (didn't know you could outgrow?), but even if I know it makes his symptoms go away it would be worth it. I don't reall know what I'm waiting for though but I think I will at least see what the pedi thinks on wed.

Has anyone actually done gluten intolerance testing? I don't think I would want him to have a biopsy esp. b/c I read it doesn't tell you that there ISN'T an intolerance.

[tanyalynn]

I've been intrigued by firefaery's experiences, she thinks she's healed her celiac. If _that's_ possible, then I think healing our gluten intolerance is possible, although I don't know what, beyond dietary changes and gut healing steps, would be required. I am starting to read about homeopathy, and I don't know if structural work (something like CST) would also be involved--I have a feeling it's very individual, and honestly, we're at least a year before I think I would be ready to start any of the "other" type of stuff. But more and more I'm thinking that complete healing, and getting to a state that dietary restriction isn't necessary at all, is possible--maybe not for everybody, I don't know about us, but the possibilities are tantalizing.

[DaytonsMom]

Just wondering how you and the baby are doing Joshuasmom16? We're now wheat and Dairy free. Everyday gets a little easier for us. I hope things are going well for you too.

[beingmommy]

Do you have a Trader Joe's Grocery nearby? If so they have a GREAT selection of gluten free foods.

http://www.traderjoes.com/Attachments/NoGluten.pdf

My DS might be gluten intolerant (we are still waiting for the blood test results) and our doc wanted us to go gluten free right away. We just started and being able to get yummy food from Trader Joe's has been really helpful.