Anyone else having hte Circ Debate at home?

[Mrsboyko]

So since this baby will (hopefully) be born at home and I am the only one with a license to drive, there is NO way he is getting circ'ed. BUT, I do want to make Dh feel as though he at least gets a say in this. You know, as long as it is the correct say and all. I brought it up right after our US and he threw out the famous line "well, everyone in my family is circ'ed and so will my son" Yea, right. I told him I was not going to have the conversation till he did some research and i dropped it. We were at lunch and i didn't want to ruin it.

Since then i have e-mailed him that penn and teller video. Not sure if he watched it or not. Yesterday I sent him the link for nocirc.org and a question if he watched the video (I sent it like 2 weeks ago now). No resopnse so far, but that is kinda how we work. He did make a comment yesterday about doing "research" (not circ related as far as I know) and came up with some crazy stat that 1 in 5 women need to have their wedding band cut off because their hands swell and they don't realize till too late. At least it is pregnancy related, kinda....

So i am taking it slow with him. This is a whole new game for him and i want him to think it was his idea. when the end comes though (you know, birth and all), I will put my foot down if necessary, I just hope he will realize that circ is a bad idea before i have to do that. Does that sound overbearing?

[Xiaguan]

Well since he cannot drive my argument with my DH would not work I told him with our son that if he wanted to mulitate his son he had to be responsible for the Dr visit, find one that used anestia(sp??) & he had to be in charge of diapers until it healed~

So here we are 13 years later with an intact son

Melissa

[DomerJen]

DH figured we'd circ a boy, but I said absolutely not. We haven't had any further discussions, but we're having a homebirth, so I'm thinking that it might just take care of itself! haha.

ETA: we don't know if it's a boy or girl anyway, so maybe we won't have to deal with it this time.

[javilu]

It's kinda funny (but cool). I tried to have this discussion with my husband, to make sure he felt included in the decision (I've just read a lot more about everything baby) and okay about our "decision" and he really just left it up to me. So, yeah...no circ here. I've brought it up a few times, because I really do want him to know that I value his opinion, and I want him to be a part of things, but I guess he either doesn't care, or just trusts that I've read enough to know what I'm doing.

[dachshund mom]

I brought it up by asking what he thought about the subject first, and that really helped. He assumed we'd circ because that's what everyone does, but was open to discussion. Now I throw out facts now and then when I read something. I never get a 'this is how it will be or else' attitude. There was a brochure at my birth center that I picked up and left on the kitchen table, and I saw him looking at it one day.

Yeah, I'll win this one, but he'll think it was his idea. Just kidding, we do tend to discuss things and he is a pretty rational guy.

[peacelovingmama]

Nope, but only because our baby is a girl. That was one reason for finding out... time to change his mind!

[DanelleB]

Originally Posted by puffnstuff

It's kinda funny (but cool). I tried to have this discussion with my husband, to make sure he felt included in the decision (I've just read a lot more about everything baby) and okay about our "decision" and he really just left it up to me. So, yeah...no circ here. I've brought it up a few times, because I really do want him to know that I value his opinion, and I want him to be a part of things, but I guess he either doesn't care, or just trusts that I've read enough to know what I'm doing.

That's how it was here with J. Luckily circ hasn't even come up this time around.

[MamaCaveBear]

funny enough, it was a make it or break it issue that I brought up with my partner before we were firmly together. Had she not agreed, out she would have went. best of luck to y'all.

[kohlby]

I actually haven't brought it up with DH at all yet. Our first son was circ - but he has a hypospadias so it wasn't done for routine reasons. I don't think it will be difficult at all to get DH to agree, but I guess I better check since we know it's a boy!

[hippiemommaof4]

my first two sons are, but my first son had issues with a buried penis so we did it and just so we wouldnt possibly have to deal with the same issues with the second we did it again. I have mentioned not doing it this time just to see but dh is on the fence so we'll seehow it goes i would rather not do it .

[baileyandmikey]

Well, we had ds done, just because Dh and all his brothers are uncirc, and his one stupid brother at the age of like27 decided to circ himself ( yes, he had mental issues realated to drug use). any ways dh was convinced that there was no other way. my ds cried for like two days straight, pure hell. I will NEVER put another child of mine through that again. Dh is not circ, so I am not worried about the baby being uncirc. But I feel terrible for mutilating my first ds.

[K&JsMaMa]

Our first two sons are circ'd. I wish they hadn't been.

DH wants this one done, too. I told him he has to make the appt, take him, etc. I also asked him to make an informed decision about it and not just do it because we've done it that way in the past.

[liliaceae]

I was lucky, DH was against circ even before doing any research! I figured there would have to be a heck of a good reason for cutting off a part of my son before I would consent to it, so I did a lot of research and discovered there's no good reason at all.

Mamas please research this issue fully before making a decision; visit the Case Against Circumcision forum, there are a lot of knowledgeable women and men there. Don't just leave this up to DH, this is your child too and your job is to protect him. I personally wouldn't go the route of telling DH he has to make the appt, change diapers, etc., because if he's really adamant he might decide it's worth it. Things will be a lot more pleasant if your DH agrees with your decision before the birth, but please stick to your guns even if he remains unconvinced. The burden of proof is on HIM, he's the one that wants to perform cosmetic surgery on your son without his consent. And remember that ultrasounds can be wrong, so be sure you know what you'll do if your girl turns out to be a boy!

[filiadeluna]

I am having a girl. HOWEVER, at my first MW appointment, when we were asked about preference (circ vs. no circ), I said NO, and DH did not argue. He was very nonchalant about it. I'm not entirely certain if it was just because it seemed so far off that he didn't want to worry about it, or if he genuinely doesn't care. If we ever do have a boy, I'm hoping he won't decide to argue about it at the last minute or something.

Good luck to all of those having boys! I hope all your SOs eyes will open & realize circ is pointless and harmless.

[lanielayne]

I have been lucky too. Dh is not circed so it has never been an issue. Actually we had a doc tell me my oldest should be circed. After the appt I told dh they wanted to set up a surgery date. Dh went to talk to the doc and reamed him until the doc told him he was just trying to do what he thought I wanted. Huh?

Had it been an issue, I would have put my foot down. I don't consider it overbearing if you are protecting your child.

[texanatheart]

We never found out before ds was born that he was a boy, but I've always known that I did not want to have any of my (potential) son(s) circumcised. When I was just a couple months pregnant, I mentioned it to dh, and I was actually going to let him make the decision (though now I know better). When I mentioned it, he was completely against leaving him intact. Well, I was upset, but just kept throwing things out there about how it is so unnecessary, etc, etc. Also my younger half-brother is intact, so I talked with him and with my step-mom. Eventually he came around, and it was kind of like I was leaving it up to him (I really have no idea what I would have done if he'd not changed his mind...it just makes me sad thinking about it!). A couple months after ds was born, dh thanked me for talking him into leaving ds intact.

One of the first things that went through my mind after we found out this baby is a boy was, "Yay, another intact boy in the world!!"

I think, OP, that you should just kind of let it be for a while, maybe throw out a couple facts here and there, and hopefully he'll come around. You still have a few months to let him come to his senses. Scour the circumcision thread, so that you feel more and more confident in your decision.

I wish you the best of luck!!!

ps-I wanted to watch the Penn and Teller video, but had to stop watching when they showed the........I can't even say the part....I started crying just watching a second of it. Bummer, because I'd really like to watch all 3 parts! Why, oh why are routine infant circumcisions still done??

[nuwavemomma]

I want DP's input on other parenting issues, but I didn't give two hoots about his circ preference and I didn't care if he felt included or not! I knew early on that would literally have to happen over my dead body, and preventing it was more important to me that preventing even a major blowout. It's not like we were going to break up over it not happening - I just can't imagine that. So I was willing to get pretty tough about it.

I don't think it's anyone's right (parents, penis-havers, whatever) to get to "consider" mutilation of another individual. Period. To me, if a person thinks that way they don't get a vote. I'm sure your heart's in the right place to try to come to consensus, and I hope that happens for you guys. But in my experience, there's been quite a bit of parenting that happens on the fly when only one parent has to own a decision. If he doesn't come around, you have to just go ahead and take the reins, yk?

Good luck!

[MamaMonica]

moved to The Case Against Circumcision.

[knucklehead]

Originally Posted by nuwavemomma

I want DP's input on other parenting issues, but I didn't give two hoots about his circ preference and I didn't care if he felt included or not! I knew early on that would literally have to happen over my dead body, and preventing it was more important to me that preventing even a major blowout.

Completely agree. Some things are non-negotiables. Just as I wouldn't ever for one microsecond, entertain the possibility of having cosmetic surgery performed on my DD's genitals, so it is with my DS.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by hippiemommaof4

my first two sons are, but my first son had issues with a buried penis so we did it and just so we wouldnt possibly have to deal with the same issues with the second we did it again. I have mentioned not doing it this time just to see but dh is on the fence so we'll seehow it goes i would rather not do it .

Cutting off more skin will make a buried penis worse not better so I am confused by this statement. Actually one of the complications of circ is buried penis.


Cutting off skin = make things smaller so if he already had buried penis then cutting off more skin would make it worse since the skin was pulled even tighter.

If it was the kind of buried penis where the tendons (think that is the right term) are to short then that had absolutly nothing to do with the foreskin at all and going into the pubic mound and cutting those tendons would have fixed the buried penis.

I am thinking I am either missing something here or your Dr. out and out lied to you.