I'm kinda freaking out tonight

[gabysmom617]

This is day 2 of Zoloft. My kid is 1 week old today actually. My husband had to go to work pretty much right after we came home from the hospital, not what we expected. So while I recover, my 3 year old had been spending a lot of time at my parents.

Well today, for the first time, it was just me, him, and the baby home alone for a few hours, from about 4pm to now...Grandparents just came and got him since my husband works in the morning tomorrow.

My baby is just so laid back. I nurse him when he sends me cues (trying to eat the living daylights out of his hands...) and other than that he sleeps. He even lets me put him down, as long as I swaddle him real good. My oldest kid took a nice long nap this evening, so me and the baby did as well. He's especially gentle with the baby. The only thing he said in passing today was that it was time for me to take the baby back to his mama. ( I thought that was kind of funny. He said it as a very lighthearted suggestion...)

So..........why am I freaking out?

I find myself freaking out about the same things I did when my first kid was born. I obsessively compulsively check his soft spot to make sure it's not sunken in and that he's not dehydrated. (I have to force myself to consider the umpteen craploads of diapers I have to change and wash every day, and the many times I've gotten pooped on...and my kid's soft creamy little fat rolls....)


I'm freaking out because I'm constantly worried that I'm not giving my 3yo enough, and that he's bored and wants to do something. Then I freak out when I send him to my parents to give him an opportunity to get out of the house, and it feels like I'm "sending him away", because he's spent so little time here in the last week. I freak out in regards to my 3yo no matter what I do for him.

I'm freaking out because I'm not engorged anymore. I don't know if Zoloft is decreasing my supply, or if this is normal after the first kid. I block fed my kid for the last couple of days because I was so engorged. Now that it's gone, I'm worried. I don't think my engorgement went away this fast with my first kid.

I'm worried and freaked out over everything. I wish I could just take a freaking breath already and relax.

[7libramama]

Oh my gosh you sound just like me except I am not taking anything just trying to let my brain right its self. I check on dd when she is napping to make sure she is breathing. I too check the soft spot for sinking or protrusion. I fret about my milk, how many times she is or isn't nursing. She is gaining weight famously obviously no worry right? Geez, and on top of it all I am going back to work in just over a weeks time. Talk about adding to my stress. I do so know how you feel and like you why the hell am I feeling it? I have a happy healthy beautiful baby girl and am spazzing. Makes no sense but as long as I am coping I figure I will just ride the waves and allow myself to feel and know it will eventually subside...like when she is 30 or something. I hope you feel better soon!

[TeaghansMama]

oh Mama, i couldn't read and not respond. i don't have any real advice.. but i remember those days all too well and painfully. sounds like you are doing a great job, despite your feelings of freaking out. your 3 year old is probably enjoying the time with his grandparents and doesn't feel sent away. are you able to spend some quality time with him when he is there? reading, snuggling, letting him have some mamatime?
the constant checking on your newborn was normal for me, too. it didn't seem to matter that i had been thru it before. the second one was just as precious as the first and i still felt an immense protective, almost paranoid nature towards her. stay hydrated, keep nursing as much as possible... maybe look into fenugreek or something else to naturally stimulate your milk supply? i also was on zoloft and nursing and it may have decreased my supply a bit but we managed.
hang in there, Mama. it's hard. totally hard.

[7libramama]

Oh yes and from what I understand engorgement can vary from child to child and usually does not last as long with subsequent babies. Also you can try this breathing exercise. You can do it while bfing. Close your eyes and plug your right nostril with your left index finger take 26 slow even breaths then repeat with the left nostril and right finger 26 times. Breathe!

[Shane]

The engorgement thing sounds totally normal. It happened to me too, and since I'm poster child for itty bitty titty comittee I was so worried that I wasn't fit to bf. I did take an herbal supplement tho that I found out about here on this board. I can't remember the name!

Mommas help me out. What is that herb that you can take for milk production that makes you smell like maple syrup?

Anyway, I probably never needed it, but I just had so much more confidence being engorged all the time. Try to keep your head up, praying helps me. And download that old 80's song "Don't worry, be happy!" It really takes the edge off, and then you'll find yourself laughing at the fact that you are actually listening to that song.

[goodygumdrops]

:::: Hug

I'm thinking about you mama. Just try and hang on till the meds start working.

[momm-i-o]

Take the most comfy chair in your house and move it outside where you'll be in direct sunlight. Then just go out there when you nurse. Everyone gets a good dose of vit D and some fresh air, you don't even need to get out of your pjs! I spent a lot of time with my eyes closed face to the sun with my 4th child. It did so much good. I know some of the neighbors thought I was a bit off but I survived and so will you! Congrats on the new baby!


Maple syrup herb... fenugreek.

[gabysmom617]

Thanks so much for the hugs and suggestions. I like the outside chair thing. It had been a little bit chilly but I think we're getting a few more warm days. My baby is jaundice and he probably needs it anyway...I just have trouble finding energy and motivation sometimes.

I also will look into fenugreek. I have one engorged breast right now, the other is deflated, and right on cue, my husband just now calls me to tell me "somebody" is looking for me, I presume to deflate this other breast. I honestly don't think I "need" fenugreek, but I think it would help to put my mind at ease. Maybe I'll also have some oatmeal for breakfast, that always helped a lot with my first kid...

[Shane]

fenugreek! That's it! For my peace of mind it helped.

[mom0810]

If you are taking zoloft, do not take any herbs. None.

You sound just like I was after ds1 and ds2. You have classic PPD. Just keep taking your meds and they will sink in and start to work. It does get so much better.

[goodygumdrops]

I was just about to come on and post about not taking herbs and ssri. I even stopped taking my multivitamin because it had herbs in it. There are lots of things that are contraindicated so I would speak to a naturopath before taking any herbs.

[gabysmom617]

oh? I take a multivitamin, and I also have to take iron. But they knew this when the prescribed zoloft...I can't take fenugreek then? How about acidophilus or stuff for my thrush? I was thinking of taking grapefruit seed extract, but I haven't started that yet, just acidophilus, and not even the good kind, I got the kind that's not refridgerated...

[goodygumdrops]

Well, it depends on what multivitamin. A lot of multivitamins also have herbs in them. I was taking Rainbow Light Prenatal and it has a bunch of different herbs and my naturopath said that some were contraindicated for the Celexa that I'm taking. I now am taking a multivitamin/mineral supplement that has no herbs.

As for the acidophilus, I'm not certain but I don't think it will be a problem but I would caution against starting anything new around the same time as starting the Zoloft. You really want to give the Zoloft time to work in your system so you know how your body handles it...side effects, etc. If your starting something else you might not be able to tell what is causing the side effects, ykwim.

As for the grapefruit seed extract, I wouldn't take it. I know that a lot of ssri's say that you shouldn't eat or drink grapefruit because it can weaken the absorption of the meds.

Again, I wouldn't take any herbs/alternative meds without speaking with a doctor,pharmacist, or a naturopatic doctor.

I hope your feeling better soon

[momm-i-o]

I thought of something else- what about beer? I know some of it gets through into the milk but there hasn't been anything like a beer to get my milk supply to increase fast. Brewer' yeast also helped me. It may aggravate the thrush though.

I would be surprised if Acidophilus were contraindicated. It isn't an herb and doesn't act in the body the same way. If you have thrush you really need something like it- talk to someone soon about it to be sure. A good probiotic pearl is expensive but worth its weight for sure.

[mom0810]

No beer with zoloft, sorry.

I KNOW that once you are able to relax, your milk will come in fine. Just relax and know that the zoloft is going to work very soon and you will relax and have plenty of milk.

You can also call your doctor and see if you can get a temporary script for an anti anxiety drug like ativan. Very safe while nursing and it can help your milk come in.