No gift Christmas? - Page 3

[njsummer01]

We've been doing a version of this for the past few years. The first year, we sent out cards with a more in depth explaination of what we were doing. Now we just say that we're donating to Heifer International instead of exchanging gifts and ask that they do the same. It has worked pretty well - we usually get a token gift (book for DS, ornament, etc.) I guess people want you to have something to open.

This year we did get small photobooks for the grandparents (mostly because I wanted to show off the photos) and a few carefully chosen gifts for our own little family and that's it. It definitely makes the holidays way less stressful!

[boatbaby]

We only give to the kids. For the adults we either do nothing but a card or we make a charitable donation in their name.

[Tradd]

I've been hearing lots of radio ads for this organization for the past month or so:

http://www.redefine-christmas.org/

[guestmama9910]

After years being the torchbearer for the standard cultural holiday, I've given up and declared a no-gift Christmas. I finally get what my husband and our little girl must have already known: it's better without the anxiety generated by obligatory giving. Doing stockings for my household has always been a source of joy for me, and now I can focus on that, on twinkling lights, milk and cookies, songs, walks, and things like that. I finally get to enjoy a peaceful, quiet, dark holiday. I even enjoy people watching now that I'm not participating in the crush in those malls.
--
AnnaArcturus

[Marylizah]

We agreed with the extended family not to exchange gifts, but everyone will make a donation to a charity that we will agree upon together, according to what each person can do. (Donations will be anonymous.) Afterwards, we'll go out to dinner to celebrate. :

I can't wait!

A few exceptions: the closer family will do stockings (dh and I, brother and SIL, sister, my parents and DS) and I know people will get gifts for DS. As for the stockings, everyone will contribute a little something.

[ABrez]

We only buy presents for the kids in the family, nieces and nephews. BIL & SIL are totally on board with this. Our kids make something for MIL & FIL. Although this year DS is 13 and all grown up with his own money so he bought them something, lol. I have no living family so it's nice that the In Laws agree with gift giving like we do. MIL & FIL give us money but like they say DH is their kid so they are still just buying for the kids. I totally see me wanting to do something for my kids when they are grown so we let it slide, lol.

[madskye]

We're doing home made this year--a little basket with a bottle of wine my husband made, cookies from me, a framed picture of our DD and a hand made ornament. I made really cute gift tags too. All in all, each basket probably cost $15, and we had a good time making the gifts.

No gifts would be kinda awesome but I do enjoy gift giving--and I really like getting and giving consumables like cookies and wine--they don't go to waste! I hope people will take our basket and like it, because I didn't feel a ton of pressure making it, and I didn't waste a ton of money either.

But yes, absolutely, this is the kind of year where presents just seem over the top--we live in a nice 'burb and even here people are really in need.

[Ygle]

I've been trying to figure out what exactly changed me so that I can get other people to 'get' it because I know I used to think people that complained about the consumeristic nature of Christmas were stingy, nitpicky, looking for things to complain about, missing out, spoiling the fun, ridiculous, etc., etc.... and here I am absolutely committed to a no-gift christmas and thinking I was crazy to think any other way...??

One thing that always puzzled me and still does though is when people just want to give to the kids and not the adults, I always thought it should be the other way around because it always seems like kids' gifts are so frivolous and just get in the way of the family focus for kids... I'd much rather give my mil a roomba or my aunt a new stock pot than my nephew a scooter, or niece a doll, myself (I'm saying this as someone who absolutely loves and is seriously addicted to toys, I still find it more satisfying and meaningful in a lot of ways buying for the adults in my life). It makes more sense to me if you are trying to simplify the holidays to stick with the practical adult gifts than the unnecessary kiddie toys... no???

[guestmama9910]

Ygle, I always thought giving to kids but not adults was backwards because it made the children seem entitled to gifts, silly or not. But I also figured things like vacuum cleaners weren't really gifts to an individual, although there certainly are those who'd appreciate that vacuum cleaner, but gifts to a whole household. I like household gifts and gift giving a ton, though I also like receiving socks for my birthday. More than jewelry.

Sorry if I'm scatterbrained, the household just erupted into mayhem around me.
--
AnnaArcturus

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by Ygle

One thing that always puzzled me and still does though is when people just want to give to the kids and not the adults, I always thought it should be the other way around because it always seems like kids' gifts are so frivolous and just get in the way of the family focus for kids... I'd much rather give my mil a roomba or my aunt a new stock pot than my nephew a scooter, or niece a doll, myself (I'm saying this as someone who absolutely loves and is seriously addicted to toys, I still find it more satisfying and meaningful in a lot of ways buying for the adults in my life). It makes more sense to me if you are trying to simplify the holidays to stick with the practical adult gifts than the unnecessary kiddie toys... no???

I've told people that I'm only giving gifts to kids because IMO receiving gifts at xmas is most meaningful to children. Let's face it, most adults buy toys for themselves whenever they want to. And most children really don't get to buy toys for themselves whenever they want to. I am very careful about what I give to kids and I totally keep in mind the family's values and preferences when I give gifts. For example, I would give a very small craft kit to a family with a cluttered home, or only wooden toys for a family who is very concerned about toxins. Also, I can buy a great gift for children for about $20. Adult toys tend to cost hundreds of dollars, and I am moving away from spending that kind of dough at xmas.

Originally Posted by AnnaArcturus

Ygle, I always thought giving to kids but not adults was backwards because it made the children seem entitled to gifts, silly or not.

: For me, Christmas is mostly about sharing food and time and nature with friends and family, and creating a magical experience for the children. Most of the children that I know will appreciate receiving a small, thoughtful gift from us (and so will their parents).

[starling&diesel]

We're doing a no gift Christmas this year.
We used to do modest gifts, and mostly gifts that we made ourselves, but even that added up, and with me on maternity leave, we just don't have the money. We've wanted to do this for years, and have been paring down, but this year we put on the brakes.

It is such a relief not to be shopping and making lists and fretting about getting everything done.

As for holiday spirit, we're making gingersnaps and cocoa packets (and a lotto ticket for fun) for the local seniors at the Lion's housing. We're going to hang them on their doorknobs as a surprise from a secret Santa. We also donate to the local toy drive for the First Nations. And for ourselves, we get out into the snow, listen to holiday programming on the radio, make beautiful food, and be thankful for what we have.

So far, this is the best Christmas yet! When we have a child in the family, we're going to do one present and a stocking. And charity every year that our child can be involved in, be it the toy drive, or a soup kitchen.

[wildmonkeys]

We do a very small Christmas with the adults in our family. Basically replenish things people need - my mom melted her spatulas this year and I was really hard on oven mitts so we are replacing them for each other - yes we can cook That about does it for us though. My husbands black socks all have holes so he is getting new ones, but we haven't actually gone no gift. Good for all of you!

My kids each get three gifts on Christmas morning. We link it to the fact that on Christmas, Jesus received three gifts.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by wildmonkeys

We do a very small Christmas with the adults in our family. Basically replenish things people need - my mom melted her spatulas this year and I was really hard on oven mitts so we are replacing them for each other - yes we can cook That about does it for us though. My husbands black socks all have holes so he is getting new ones, but we haven't actually gone no gift. Good for all of you!

My kids each get three gifts on Christmas morning. We link it to the fact that on Christmas, Jesus received three gifts.

Technically he was BORN on christmas (although probably more like march) and received gifts on Epiphany (Jan 6) which is when the wise men showed up... so, really he just got the gift of birth on christmas. I've actually been considering celebrating the gift part either on St. Nicholas day or on Epiphany, but epiphany is very close to my DD's birthday, so we'd likely go with St. Nicholas day, or maybe the winter solstice...

[wildmonkeys]

I realize it isn't technically correct, but it works to merge the religious aspect with the cultural holiday for very small children. We go to church on the Epiphany, but I have a kids with a January and February birthdays so I have no desire to drag out the holiday gift giving season.

[Juvysen]

I hear ya... my dd's is on January 11 and mine is the 23rd. We go to three sets of grandparents over the christmas holida, and then we have dd's birthday party... and suddenly she thinks that she deserves gifts every time we see family... *sigh* It's getting a little crazy!

[MrsMike]

We're not exactly no-gift this year, but we have cut it down by 98%. We used to get for co-workers, friends, extended family, etc. I am not exchanging gifts with any friends this year. I will bring a tin of cookies to work for my co-workers to share. I'm not exchanging with my brother or his wife. I got one small thing for my two nieces. We don't exchange with my nephew or other niece anymore. My parents are getting something they need. My dad is getting some pie crust thingamagig. My mom is getting a wooden ladel. DH and I decided not to exchange gifts this year, though, to be honest...I did get him an ornament. It was $1.00 and it looks just like one of our beloved cats who passed away. DS is getting a few gifts from us this year, mostly wooden toys. We told my parents that we don't want anything, but they love to give gifts. So, we compromised and they are only getting us stuff we need. No knick knacks, no decorations, no clothes for me. They're getting us things like homeopathic remedies, toothbrushes, razor blades and other neccessities. We started this last Christmas and it was the best Christmas. It was so nice to come home and not have to worry about finding a place for everything. It's also nice to not worry about finding the perfect gift and wrapping. I was always a last minute wrapper and it made me miserable.

[wildmonkeys]

I was reading this and think it is an interesting concept and one I had never thought of that giving gifts for kids doesn't make as much sense to some folks as giving gifts to adults...in one sense it totally makes sense though it is the opposite as I had always thought about doing it :

We always do gifts for kids and I know sometimes they are more frivolous than adult gifts, but somehow I enjoy buying them so much more and they seem so much more magical. OTH, you are right, we are always so excited when the other adults notice what we need and held out for and then have the chance to give it to us...whereas the kids often tear through a bunch of stuff in a panic...OTH I still remember what I got for a handful of really special childhood Christmasses where I am harder pressed to recall specific adult holidays...

Anyway, it is food for thought. I tend to be child-focused so not making the holidays about the kids and then having the adults have the opportunity to view the joy that brings is something I had just not thought of, but will...