He's getting stomach aches

[paisleypoet]

My oldest ds is in third grade now at a public school. He has always been very bright and done really well in school, especially in reading and writing. He doesn't like math at all, but he does just fine, like probably a B. This week he has started getting stomach aches that I think are more than stomach aches. He has a lot of anxiety about all the math they are doing, and things are harder than they were in second grade. He keeps thinking about later on how hard it's going to get, and the fact that he doesn't know his multiplication yet, even though they haven't actually started learning it. He's always been a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to school work. I'm worried about him. He's home again today because he was crying and his stomach hurt really bad. I don't doubt that it hurt, but I know he's not actually sick. I just don't really know how to deal with this. I did a bunch of homework with him last night and he did just fine, so it's not that he doesn't know this stuff. I have talked to his teacher before about his math anxiety, and she is open to my calling or emailing her anytime.
Anybody have any ideas?

[Mama_2_Boy]

I'm just curious as to why you don't think he might actually have a legitimate problem? I think if my son was complaining about pain I might get him checked out, just to be sure.

[paisleypoet]

Mostly because as soon as he got to stay home, he was watching TV and singing and dancing. No complaints unless it's time to go to school.

I did wonder if it was something legit, since there seems to be a lot of stuff going around like diarrhea and colds and stuff, but I don't think he's very sick.

[Mama_2_Boy]

I hope he's okay.

As for the anxiety, my suggestion would be to talk with him more about it. I know communication with little ones can sometimes be like pulling teeth.

Good luck too you mama.

[dillonandmarasmom]

I had a simialr issue in grade school. I would get painful stomach aches anytime I felt anxious about anything: schoolwork, friends, plays, etc. I would never vomit or have any other symptoms, but my mom always took me seriously. It wasn't until I was in high school that I slowly got better at handling anxiety-invoking situations. What actually helped me was going to a summer camp where interpersonal skills were taught, as well as public speaking. It really helped me break out of a shell.
If your LO will allow you to, I would communicate as much as possible about why he feels so upset/uncomfortable.
to you, mama.

[crl]

There are some good books on anxiety and children. I've seen Freeing Your Child From Anxiety recommended. Maybe that would be worth a read for you?

I also second ruling out any physical issues. My DS has an anxiety disorder dx and he complained of stomach aches. (Started complaining right after reading a Curious George book where Curious George has a stomach ache.) I mentioned it to his ped and developmental ped and all agreed that it was anxiety. His complaints persisted and I finally took him back to his ped and said, let's just do everything we can to rule out a physical cause. We did a slew of tests and it turns out DS has a mild milk allergy. Once I took milk out of his diet completely, his complaints of stomach pain went down dramatically.

Catherine

[lauren]

I can remember being a child with math anxiety. Every monday morning we had multiplication tests (4th grade) and for awhile every monday morning I was "sick." I really did feel physically ill in the morning and then felt guilty having to 'fake it' the rest of the day when I felt better. My mother caught on and instead got me some math help with the teacher. Looking back on it, she probably should have done it faster (I was home about six mondays in a row), because then I wouldn't have gotten so behind.

Could you meet with the teacher to discuss it and figure out if extra tutoring would be of value to him?

[LauraLoo]

Possibly it could be a combination of a medical issue as well as a psychological one. Anxiety & stress issues can exacerbate physical/medical symptoms because the entire immune system is taxed, GI/digestive issues can be involved, etc. So staying at home can reduce the discomfort, but it doesn't necessarily mean that the medical issues go away.

DS was complaining about stomach and headaches on and off for about a year. Then came problems with his ears being congested and I was sure that it was an ear infection or some environmental allergy. Turns out he had a significant allergy to soy- which is similar to crl's post. We're also suspecting visual processing issues, so we're also going down that path to get him tested for this.

Regardless of whether or not his issues turn out to have a medical basis, I would pay attention to his symptoms and complaints because stress issues can turn into medical issues. Chronic stress/anxiety is hard on the body.

[paisleypoet]

Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. We have conferences coming up soon so I am going to talk to his teacher about it. I will also look at some books, and make sure there's really nothing physical going on.