Anxiety about TTC #2

[lovelysmama]

I've been lurking 'round here for a while but this is my first time posting

After 2+ years of TTC my daughter, I got pregnant. MY H & I went through all of the testing (eventually received the dreaded diagnosis of "unexplained infertility"), did 4 rounds of clomid + estrace + hCG + progesterone(3 of those with IUIs) and 3 rounds of injectibles + estrace + hCG + progesterone. My ovaries hyperstimulated the 3 round of injectibles and our IUI (and trigger shot, of course) was cancelled but miraculously (and yes, I know what a cliche it is ) I ended up pregnant that cycle. A total fluke.

Well, my daughter is now 9 months. I would LOVE to have another baby sooner rather then later but the thought of going through all of that again is causing me great anxiety. Infertility still paralyzes me. I can't imagine being a good mama to my sweet girl while dealing with the hormonal ups and downs that I went through last time but I don't feel like our family is complete just yet.

My cycles have always been extremely irregular unless medicated. I've only had one period since y daughter has been born and that was more then 2 months ago. I spotted some EWCM today - I can think of only ONE other time in my life that I've actually had EWCM so this is really throwing me off. Surely at cd62 I wouldn't be O-ing, right? My babe is still nursing with a lot of frequency and that's not likely helping things regulate. I just wish I knew what was going on with my body.

Back on topic - who else is stressing about potential secondary (or more!) IF? How do you cope while still being a good mama to your baby?

[crystal-mommy]

Originally Posted by lovelysmama

I've been lurking 'round here for a while but this is my first time posting

After 2+ years of TTC my daughter, I got pregnant. MY H & I went through all of the testing (eventually received the dreaded diagnosis of "unexplained infertility"), did 4 rounds of clomid + estrace + hCG + progesterone(3 of those with IUIs) and 3 rounds of injectibles + estrace + hCG + progesterone. My ovaries hyperstimulated the 3 round of injectibles and our IUI (and trigger shot, of course) was cancelled but miraculously (and yes, I know what a cliche it is ) I ended up pregnant that cycle. A total fluke.

Well, my daughter is now 9 months. I would LOVE to have another baby sooner rather then later but the thought of going through all of that again is causing me great anxiety. Infertility still paralyzes me. I can't imagine being a good mama to my sweet girl while dealing with the hormonal ups and downs that I went through last time but I don't feel like our family is complete just yet.

My cycles have always been extremely irregular unless medicated. I've only had one period since y daughter has been born and that was more then 2 months ago. I spotted some EWCM today - I can think of only ONE other time in my life that I've actually had EWCM so this is really throwing me off. Surely at cd62 I wouldn't be O-ing, right? My babe is still nursing with a lot of frequency and that's not likely helping things regulate. I just wish I knew what was going on with my body.

Back on topic - who else is stressing about potential secondary (or more!) IF? How do you cope while still being a good mama to your baby?

It is NOT easy. I find myself being frustrated about the whole IF thing and being snippy @ my daughter sometimes. I have to remind myself that I need to be a good mama to the one I already have!! Bottom line.. we are already mamas - that in itself makes infertility harder and easier @ the same time. Secondary IF sucks -but for different reasons. Good luck!! I didn't have a period for 2 months before I conceived my daughter (total accident- I didn't have primary IF- but for some reason have had secondary IF for 3 yrs) so you could very well be O'ing even though it has been that long since a cycle!!

[ErikaG]

My daughter is six months old...I just had my first postpartum period, and we've talked about when to start again. I started using my CBFM again recently...and while physically, I'm ready to cope with pregnancy again, I'm not sure I'm ready to cope emotionally with the process of getting pregnant. Though I'm told that it might not be as hard this time-the "priming the pump" theory, and that "you're miles ahead of where you started from last time-you don't have to go through all the figuring out that you've got fertility challenges, and so you know where to start." My OB and I talked about it after I had my daughter and there's a plan for trying again and how long to wait before intervention and so on, and so that's helpful.

There's also the people who ask why we're going to try again so soon, and I want to shake them and remind them how long it took with my daughter, and the possibility it might take that long again, plus the fact that both of us are in our 30s, and that too can impact fertility.

That doesn't make it easier. It's still going to be filled with the months of trying to get pregnant and failing and wondering if it will happen on it's own or not, if it's something that we're not doing or should be doing, or just that we're not supposed to have another child...though I hope that's not the case.

But once you've gotten past it once, how do you contemplate doing it again?