DD has started to 'good job' me

[quietserena]

And I have no idea where she learned it. We don't say it in the house and we don't really have anyone in the friends who says that.

Frankly, I'm a little weirded out.

[NiteNicole]

My daughter does it too but I'm pretty sure she hears it from my husband.

[whalemilk]

Aw. My daughter's about the same age and actually that sounds very sweet to me. When you hear complaints and whining and demands all day, and after months of having an infant who asked for much but couldn't say anything by way of thanks, isn't it great to get that occassional "thank you" or "good job" or as my daughter says "dat PERPECT mommy!"?? I know I love it.

[elmh23]

Say thank you and don't worry about it.

[MommyJoia]

My DD did this a lot while potty learning. "good job, mommy, you went pee pee on the potty!"

[Swirly]

I get it now and then too and am always highly flattered, LoL.

[Mary-Beth]

You could follow up with questions such as "What did you like about it?" or some other variation that makes sense depending on the situation. The idea is to help her be more specific about what she thought you did well or what she liked.

[milkybean]

Does she watch TV? Nina on The Goodnight Show says that phrase.

YOu might say it and not realize.

[quietserena]

We figured out that she's probably learned it from either Curious George or Blues Clues. Not that we watch a lot of either of those but apparently a small exposure is enough.

It's kind of funny, because it's completely unexpected. We seriously subscribe to that 'no empty praise' thing and this was out of the blue. DH had this face and asked 'did she just good job me?' I couldn't stop giggling.

We decided to just say 'thank you' and not make a big deal out of it.

[whalemilk]

I wonder if it hurts her feelings to have her attempt at being kind to you rebuffed and reacted to with horror and disdain.

[quietserena]

Originally Posted by whalemilk

I wonder if it hurts her feelings to have her attempt at being kind to you rebuffed and reacted to with horror and disdain.

That's exactly why we choose to just say 'thank you'. I was being weirded out on my own time.

[tubulidentata2]

We follow the same "no empty praise" policy at our house, too (although DH accidentally says "you did that very well" instead of "good job"). However, DD watches Signing Time and learns all sorts of inane stuff there. For example, "You are very good at walking!", "Good sharing!", etc. She also learns it from other children.

[quietserena]

Oh, 'Good Sharing' from Signing Time.. :

That might be where she learned the good job business. I just can't remember any more!

[Ruthla]

Good posting!

[Marsupialmom]

Good Sharing? How is that empty praise for a toddler? When they are learning that skill and they do it on there own.

I think in little ones that have more limited vocabularies "Good job" isn't suppose to be empty but mean a lot more. Mom good job on diner could mean they couldn't think of the word delicious.

[_betsy_]

DD is also 25 mo and she tells me "That's right, Mommy!" I think she just likes to notice things I do for her or things we're talking about or whatever.

[whalemilk]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmom

Good Sharing? How is that empty praise for a toddler? When they are learning that skill and they do it on there own.

I think in little ones that have more limited vocabularies "Good job" isn't suppose to be empty but mean a lot more. Mom good job on diner could mean they couldn't think of the word delicious.

Yeah, exactly. I think this "no praise" thing is ridiculous and overblown, especially melodramatic terms like "praise junkie." Like wanting to hear now and then that you're making progress, doing well, impressing people is akin to shooting up with some horse. Right. :

[sunnmama]

I always find it fun and curious trying to figure out where my littles pick up expressions that we don't use at home.

You do realize, of course, that this means your older dc may very well "good job" your younger dc :

Personally, I don't get worked up about praise. I don't give empty praise, only genuine praise. But I give genuine praise liberally! It feels good to me and my children. Maybe it feels right to your dd?

Also, my second toddler is being raised in a much less controlled environment, simply because there is an older sibling in the house (sugar/candy earlier, tv exposure earlier, less ideal modeling, etc). Honestly, he is better adjusted than my first toddler, so I've come to question a lot of the theories I held with my first

[tubulidentata2]

I don't think "good sharing" is terrible, but I just think praising for it leads to sharing and doing other nice actions simply to get praise, not because they are being authentic. It's "easy" to be around people who act nice all of the time, but I would often prefer for people to be more authentic than that. That's just me. I prefer to praise DD when SHE is excited about something, or to just tell her how much I love being with her and how she is special.

[hipumpkins]

right now I am on vacation at my parent's house in Fl and they have pool. I was in the pool with DS and we were swimming together . He thought I was very good swimmder and kept saying, "good job mommy"
It was felt very sweet to me and I loved it.
However I did have librariain once tell my DD "good job SEEING" when she pointed out a garbage truck to me during toddler reading. My Dd was 5 at that time and we were there for her brother. Even Dd wanted to die.