a beautiful little girl

[wallabisfarm]

has just joined our family! ::

She is a sweet, sweet 26 month old, now living in the childrens home and transitioning to our home. We met her earlier this week and for the next three weeks dh and I will visit her together once a week, and I will go on my own once a week. Then, we get to take her our of the home (hooray - we have to wear masks in the childrens home to keep our germs to ourselves - wont it be great for her to see our faces!), then take her on a short trip to our house, then begin overnight visits, then move her here permanently. Our first visit she was pretty shy of us, and clung to her caregiver, but on my visit yesterday she let me hold her, and I got to see her sweet smile.
She calls us mama and papa, and her caregivers are super-supportive, saying things like "read the book with mama" and "ask mama if you can do that" during the visit, as well as talking us up when we are away. I have so much happiness!

just wanted to say that and hear any toddler transition stories or any other toddler stories you want to share.

i think i need more smilies to close here - lets see...
:::: ::

[akaisha]

saw this on new posts and just wanted to say congrats on your daughter!!!! ::::

[azedazobollis]

Im so happy for you!!!! Looking forward to following your story!

[Miss 1928]

Congratulations!!!
Yippie!!!

(From an adoptee)

[lovemybubus]

Congratulations!:

[Blucactus]

Congrats!

[MoonStarFalling]

Congrats!!! :

[Spock]

How exciting! Congratulations!

[EricaRain]

I'm so, so delighted for you! Congratulations! We just moved our little guy - who is turning 3 in a week - into our home this summer, so you and I are in a similar boat So I am really and truly thrilled for you.

I'm not sure I can give you any more advice or ideas then you will have already gathered. But I want to be really honest with you. I hope in some way it helps if I tell the truth.

If I could go back and say something to that self I was when we began transitioning, I would say this:

"This is going to be hard at times; even if you are a perfect parent and it seems your guy was in a great situation, he's going to have a hard time, and you need only do your best to help him get through it. You need to give it time, and you need to trust yourself. Especially though, you need to look to your loved ones to help you, and trust your social worker safety net as well.

By doing the best you can you are doing so much. It's perfectly ok for it to be hard, and for you to feel frustrated and overwhelmed. It's ok to have days when you wonder if it was the right choice. No one will condemn you when you feel like you just can't do this. But everyone will recognize no matter how perfect a Mommy you are, the little guy will take time to adjust.

Just talk to people who understand. Accept you can't make it perfect. Love yourself, be patient with you AND the little one, and give it lots of time. Accept that this road will be bumpy for months at least, and love yourself and the little one anyway".

My social worker reminds me that these little ones may always be sensitive to changes and new situations. They may never grow out of feeling overwhelmed by birthday parties, loud environments, or needing to sleep near Mommy. They will regress, will likely erase all that potty training, may baby talk, ask for bottles, and want to be held and rocked for hours as if they were infants. They will need to regress. She explained that somewhere in our little guy's mind he has remembered the feelings of loss, and it might come out to be processed whenever things change here. He might panic and wonder, "today we dressed up in Halloween costumes and had a party, what might be different tomorrow!?" or "mommy was behind me a second ago but now I can't see her - has she disappeared and left me here!?". And his response may be to act as an infant would to reassure himself that Mommy will meet his needs and love him even when he can't verbalize those needs at all. He will at times be completely dependent on me, but as time goes on and I give him everything he needs, he will become a little more likely to trust that I will love him and keep him safe always.

[wallabisfarm]

thanks everybody! I get to go see her again tomorrow - can't wait!

erica rain - what a great post, thank you. I am thinking I may print it out and post it somewhere in the house to remind me to go easy on myself once in a while. congratulations on your new one! :

sara

[vilaura]

Congratulations! I hope you had another lovely visit together. :