Limiting Family Size Because of PPD?

[GriffsKat]

I have two children. Had PPD for at least nine months with my oldest, Nadia. Didn't seek care for it. Have it with my four week old, Rhys. So far, there is a 100% chance I'd get with any other children. Have you or are you limiting the number of children you have because of PPD? I don't want anymore children, biologically, because of the severity of the depression. I've had serious thoughts of suicide and, unfortunately, harming my babies. I was a cutter when I was a teen and I've thought about that too. Hubby is in complete agreement about not having any other children. But I feel guilty. I know there are drugs I can take at the end of pregnancy and then start up with zoloft as soon as the baby is born, but I hate taking drugs. And I don't want to take anything when I am pregnant, even if they say it is safe. If I would get pregnant by chance, you know, not trying, then yes I'd do it. But I will not willingly get pregnant and then have to take drugs. I don't know. It just doesn't seem fair to the kid.

What are your thoughts? I seriously want sterilization for myself. I do not want to get pregnant again.

[heidirk]

I'm sorry you've had such a bad time. I do understand why you're feeling this way, I think, and I don't think it's selfish of you- in fact I think it's the opposite. You're tryiong to make the best choice for your family as it exists now. I would wait to make the decision until your current depression clears. You don't want to make a choice now that you'll regret later.

[tsfairy]

I was just thinking about this today. I've been hit with the baby bug lately, even though I'd never consider TTC until DS2 is at least 2 (he was an oopsie.) I'm 2 for 2 with the PPD too so odds are really good it'll be just as bad with another babe. DH says we're done, and my mental health is a huge part of his reasoning.

I had a really bad day today because of some really stressful financial stuff and I was in a bad place all day. I was thinking to myself, am I nuts to even consider having another baby someday? Should I just put the thought completely out of my mind forever?

[jennybean0722]

Gosh, I am in the same boat. I had ppd with my first but didn't get treated until he was 7 mo old. I stayed on zoloft for around 8-9 mo until I got pregnant with no. 2. I was hell bent on taking zoloft again when no. was born, b/c I never wanted to experience it again. However, I took a chance and decided against the meds and have gotten lucky (so far, he is only 3.5 mo). I can't believe I had the balls to do this.

Anyway, my home life and over life in general have drastically changed since no. 1. We moved back closer to family, my husband works at home, and no. 2 is a rather "easy" baby. He sleeps well, only wakes up once or twice a night so far.

Although I am very tempted to have another, I really think I should stop. I just KNOW going to three would send me over the edge again!!!

[kalisis]

Oh absolutely! I will never have another baby b/c of the fear of PPD. I didn't realize how profoundly that decision had affected me until a friend announced her pregnancy and I felt awful for a couple of days. Sort of 'mourning' my chances.

I just feel like the odds are too risky of surviving the next bout - this last go round was pretty awful and I don't think I could do it again.

I look at it as taking care of my own needs though. I already have two children and I am committed to being fully present for them as they grow up. Whatever little spirit babies were waiting on me will have to keep waiting for the next lifetime.

[Surfacing]

Yes, I have been there. This is still one of the reasons we are not sure whether we will have other kids. If you have good family supports and are in good health, all seems well. But when you are in the bad days.....it seems like hell on earth.

No answers, just saying I've been there.

[ShwarmaQueen]

I think it would be hard to find someone who has suffered PPD and wouldn't understand that decision.

Listening to your inner voice is always the best decision.

[heidirk]

I just wanted to add, that I've gotten lucky with #2 too. He's much easier than DS1 was. And even though I'm only 5 weeks out, and I know it could still hit, I'm feeling pretty possitive, b/c by this time with DS1, I was already happy on the outside/dying on the inside. I even had myself fooled.


I'm still considering stopping here, which makes me sad, because I'd have happily had 10 children, otherwise. So I';m postponing my decision for a year or so.