High risk pregnancy weaning, help- please!

[nigellas]

I need help. I need help because I need to wean my 25 month old... I'm pregnant and I have a condition called incompetent cervix - it means my cervix dilates early (I was on BR with him for 19 weeks).

Neither of us wants to wean - I keep putting it off - I was hoping that I wouldn't need to wean, but I'm only 12 weeks and my cervix is already shortening and softening. I'm already having contractions. I know I need to do this for that baby's safety, but my son is just so present - I'm having a hard time telling him no when the baby inside me seems so abstract to me - does that make sense?

So please... I need someone to tell me this is the right thing to do. (Is it?) And then - How? How the heck do I do this?

[whalemilk]

I haven't been in your situation, but I did wean my 2 yo while pregnant. (I had horrible morning sickness and lost weight, then found that nursing was just exhausting me too much.) It was different because as my supply decreased from pregnancy, she was nursing less anyhow. I mostly used distraction. I treated her to chocolate milk and ice cream. : We came up with other naptime rituals--she liked it when I would scroll through my cellphone ring tones while she cuddled me. I turned bedtime over to daddy until she was accustomed to not nursing to sleep anymore. It went pretty fast and if it was upsetting at all, it was much less upsetting than me sitting and crying every time she nursed, which was what happened before because I felt so sick. I am sure someone will find something to critique in what I did, but it worked for us.

[nigellas]

Thanks, Whale.

Anyone else???

If it helps, here's the details - he usually nurses 3-4 times during the day (with the exception of first thing in the morning it's usually a quickie), and all through the night still (we co-sleep) - I've been able to get him to fall asleep off the boob, so that's a start - but he is absolutely not interested in cutting out any night nursing - I think it'll be much harder than day time since I can't distract him...

[merry-mary]

I'm so sorry!

There is a terrific book by Kathleen Huggins called "The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning" with situation and age-appropriate advice for weaning. I would order a copy of this and see what she recommends.

[mrforbes]

If your milk dries up do you think that would help wean? If so, drink LOTS of sage tea and where cabbage leaves in your bra 24/7 .

[Selesai]

NIgellas,
I have never been in your situation but I can imagine how difficult it must be. I had the same feelings, for what it's worth, when I was pregnant with DD. She seemed so abstract, and DS, who was already here, was just so real. This will change with time. Until then, remember that although you wish you didn't have to wean, you need to for the health of your unborn baby. You did a great thing nursing your DS as long as you have, and who knows, he may resume nursing once you deliver.
Until then, perhaps you can substitue cuddling or hugs for nursing at night? Can you explain to him why you have to stop giving him milk? My kids' ped was able to explain to her 2.5 year old and he willingly stopped. I don't think my DS would, but I'm sure it depends on the kids.
I don't know that I would try to dry up my milk as my primary way of weaning him, since many kdis will keep nursing anyway.
Good luck.

[mommylovesra]

Are they going to do a cerclage? Where they stitch you closed until you are ready to go into labor. I would ask a doctor if it would still be necessary to wean if you had that procedure. As far a stratgies distraction works best and making new rituals. For instance, with my second we always got up to get a drink of water if he woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to nurse and he accepted that as a substitute.

I know it is hard((hugs)) my 27 month old was still nursing when I got put on hospital bedrest and he was forced to wean. I think it was more traumatic for him that way. If I had know about going on bedrest I probably would have tried to push weaning beforehand.

[treehugginhippie]

Hugs to you...

Just wanted to say my 3yr old dd decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed. That night she slept through the night for the first time (was nursing every 2 hrs) and nightweaned herself. Her sleeping next to me was keeping her awake So maybe if you're unsucessful to get him to sleep in the family bed w/out nursing, maybe move him to his own bed?

[nigellas]

Thanks you guys... I think I'm a wee hormonal because some of your posts made me tear up (not in a reacting to a mean post way, just in a wistful, sad type way) - thank you for your support.

Are they going to do a cerclage?

I just got my cerclage last week - Unfortunately they are not 100% - I had to have my last one taken out early with my DS because I was dilating through it and they were worried my cervix would tear.

I'll keep you all updated.