Throwing

[lmkirche]

My ds who will be 3 in December throws alot of his stuff. I have tried taking them away, saying that that particular toy is "closed right now". I tell him what to do with the toy, i.e. We build with blocks. Trains stay on the tracks. We read books. We throw balls. etc. . . This doesn't seem to work because of his short attention span. He doesn't care/remember that the toy was taken way.

I have tried to have him redo it the correct way. This works well unless he is tired or wants to create a power struggle. At those times, he just say no or throws it again. I then take him in my lap and we do it together, either with me guiding his hands or having him watch me. I then praise him for doing it right.

None of these seem to work, meaning he still does this - alot. At preschool, many of his classmates do the same thing, which is not helping the situation.

I would like to know if there is anything else I can do to help with this. I know I need to stay calm (which I struggle with) and need to respond to aggressive behavior in non-aggressive ways. I just feel like I am totally out of ideas here.

[Collinsky]

Why is he throwing? Is it in anger/frustration? Or because he likes throwing them? You called it "aggressive behavior", so I'm assuming it's in anger?

It's very common at this age, but you probably noticed that in just observing his classmates!

[mamaduck]

I ended up creating "throwing centers" in the house. A basket of nerf balls in the livingroom. A Fisher Price basketball hoop in the family room. Then if something innapropriate got thrown, I would redirect, "Oh, do you feel like throwing? Here -- these are for throwing."

[lmkirche]

I guess I call it aggressive behavior because lots of times the throwing leads to hitting, especially when he is tired. He generally laughs after he throws so I don't think he is angry. I think he is testing his boundries. He knows it is wrong to throw but he enjoys doing it and he likes to see my response I suppose. I do think he is copying what he sees at school in a safe enviornment, because his preschool teacher says he doesn't do it at school, just observes his friends doing it.

We do have balls, and maybe I need to invest in a bunch of nerf balls to keep in a basket that he can get to easily and redirect him as you say, "Oh you like throwing, here is something to throw" I like that. Thank you.

[phathui5]

I have a three year old thrower too. Redirection is what works with him. If he's throwing something that I would rather not be thrown, I get him something he can throw and play catch with him. We also have tons of balls and a small basketball net in the playroom.