Dear Stepdaughter's School:

[ProtoLawyer]

You sent a note home (thanks for sending parallel copies to Mom and to Dad, by the way) indicating that my stepdaughter had two issues last week:
1. She is having difficulty with math, which has meant she has spent her morning recesses going over problems instead of going outside, and
2. She has had difficulty paying attention between the scheduled recess time and lunch time.

I have omitted the specifics for brevity, but we will of course work with her on her counting-by-fives skills.

However, and while I don't want to tell you how to do your job, I would like to perhaps suggest you look how I rephrased your note, because I think the cause-and-effect relationship becomes significantly clearer.

Best regards,
ProtoLawyer (aka FormerTeacher)

[Ruthla]

It's probably best if Mom or Dad contacts the school with these concerns, rather than Stepmom. But geesh- I can see missing the occasional recess but it shouldn't be a daily thing- kids need exercise!

[ProtoLawyer]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

It's probably best if Mom or Dad contacts the school with these concerns, rather than Stepmom. But geesh- I can see missing the occasional recess but it shouldn't be a daily thing- kids need exercise!

I should clarify: I didn't send this letter. It's merely illustrative. (If anything, I'd ghostwrite for my partner to sign.) My partner will be having a discussion with the teacher during conferences next week.

[VijayOwens]

As usual, what Ruthla said, and also wouldn't it be nice if schools wouldn't cause a new problem when trying to solve a different one? Sigh.

-Vijay

[ProtoLawyer]

Originally Posted by VijayOwens

As usual, what Ruthla said, and also wouldn't it be nice if schools wouldn't cause a new problem when trying to solve a different one? Sigh.

-Vijay

This school also, quite curiously, sent a big packet of "if you need assistance with a coat, Thanksgiving meal, holiday toys this year, please fill this out" stuffed in one side of the folder, and a big ole fundraising packet full of cookie dough, wrapping paper, and other crap in the other.

[momtokea]

Sounds familiar. I have a very busy, active little boy. When he was 4 he went to preschool and sometimes misbehaved. For punishment they would take away his favorite thing about school, gym time. He had to stay back and practice printing with the TA. He hates printing. He can't print. He was 4.

He lasted 2 months and I took him out (the day I went to pick him up and he was standing outside alone and noone had noticed he was gone):

He's 7 now and homeschooled. Some days he plays outside first thing in the morning for about half an hour. Those are often his best work days as he comes in very content and settles down to work and is very cooperative.

Just another example of how schools often miss the point.

[CarrieMF]

This school also, quite curiously, sent a big packet of "if you need assistance with a coat, Thanksgiving meal, holiday toys this year, please fill this out" stuffed in one side of the folder, and a big ole fundraising packet full of cookie dough, wrapping paper, and other crap in the other.

While it's ironic, it makes it fair to everyone. They can't give kids they think need help the if you need assistance package & give the kids they think can afford fundraising the fundraising package.

[Zach'smom]

Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer

This school also, quite curiously, sent a big packet of "if you need assistance with a coat, Thanksgiving meal, holiday toys this year, please fill this out" stuffed in one side of the folder, and a big ole fundraising packet full of cookie dough, wrapping paper, and other crap in the other.

Everyone in our school gets the assistance packet also. It doesn't matter if you are unemployed or making $500,000.

I just had to laugh at your op. Did the school not realize how dumb that letter sounded? Give us an update after the conference.

[ProtoLawyer]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

While it's ironic, it makes it fair to everyone. They can't give kids they think need help the if you need assistance package & give the kids they think can afford fundraising the fundraising package.

True--I'm glad everything goes to everybody, but that they appeared on either side of the folder on the same day was interesting. And the fundraising packet had a really guilt-inducing letter attached to it (one of those "We know times are tight, but please think of the children and buy 50 cents worth of wrapping paper for $12 so we can see $1.99 of that" things), which was especially cringe-worthy.

This is the same school that put "Kiddo is having difficulty with multiplication" on her kindergarten report card. (My partner contacted the teacher wondering exactly why they thought multiplication was age-appropriate, and apparently they use "multiplication" to mean grouping and pattern recognition, since they're all related. And I guess the parents were supposed to just naturally figure that out.)

This is the same school that scheduled separate conferences for Mom and Dad last year, WITHOUT telling them they were separate (or without even asking if they wanted them separate), which led to a nasty message on our machine from Mom calling Dad a bad parent for missing the conference. (He went to his and asked if they should wait for her, at which point the teacher explained they were separate; she went to hers but didn't bother to ask and just assumed he was blowing their daughter off.)

The communication is, shall we say, bizarre with that school.

[Sijae]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

It's probably best if Mom or Dad contacts the school with these concerns, rather than Stepmom. But geesh- I can see missing the occasional recess but it shouldn't be a daily thing- kids need exercise!

You would think huh?

My son spent the entire 4th grade without recess and in 5th grade they took his recess and added after-school detention. Then near the end of 5th grade they started withholding his lunch at the teachers desk

All this to force the child to do busy-work

Needless to say he's not in school anymore.

Laura

[MattBronsil]

Schools: The cause of, and the complainer of, most ADHD issues.