We have a good friend visiting us right now. She used to work with dh and now is in another state (Montana), working with a Federal agency. She is single and childless by choice. She doesn't like children particularly, which is, of course, her every right. I don't have any problems with that.
The other night, she was talking about her co-workers. One, a woman, just had a baby a couple of months ago. She is breastfeeding and, sometimes, brings the baby to work (at the discretion of the individual office, they can bring their babies to work for the first 6 months).
Well, our friend was going ballistic about this co-worker's pumping! She said, "Gah! I walk into the bathroom and there she is, her udder hooked up to her pump and it is just gross! Nobody wants to see her boobs in the workplace! It's as bad as when I was here and XXX was doing the same thing in the women's room here. At least her boobs were so small the milking machine covered them. Co-workers is built like a 2000 lb -bad word- dairy cow!"
I, asked, gently (because she is a friend, we were having dinner and I didn't want to turn it into a battle), where should she pump? It wasn't like it was at her desk, it's the women's bathroom. Nobody else is seeing anything, except other women, and it isn't like they've never seen breasts before! (trying to keep the conversation as light as I can).
She said she complained to her supervisor about the bathroom pumping and how offensive it is and the woman was told she couldn't do it in the bathroom anymore, she could do it in another area. Well, our friend goes on to say that the new place is worse, it's public, a storage area where they hang their spraying clothes (there would be noxious weeds chemicals there) and it is where the guys sometimes change out of their clothes, when they come in from the field. So, now it is also an inconvenience, as far as our friend is concerned, 'cause the guys have to change someplace else. The "Milk Cow" is now in their area.
She said she complained, again, to her supervisor on the error of this new location just before her vacation (ongoing now) and said she assumes things will be different when she returns to work, after this present visit to our place.
In other words, she doesn't want this woman to be pumping OR breastfeeding at work. She should stay home with her kid and that is that.
I was angry. But, like I said, I was trying to be polite and keep the peace.
I did mention that the co-worker IS protected, by law, and it is her legal right to breastfeed wherever, whenever she wants, and that I thought it was too bad that she had to pump in the women's room in the first place. Who would want their food prepared in a public restroom??
And, that they had better watch out, because the woman had all the makings of a harrassment claim because of being asked to pump in an area with possibly toxic chemicals. It didn't really matter if it bothered anyone, it is her legal right to do this.
Dh was nodding with what I said. He agrees with me and (said later) he thought I was doing just fine!!
She pretty much simmered down at this point. I don't know if it was the words I said or the cool tone as I said them. She changed the subject and we continued our evening.
But, now I can't stop thinking about this. I was, and am, a sahm. I nursed ds until he was 4 1/2 years old. I had a pump (as a just-in-case thing) and used it, perhaps, half a dozen times. Ds never would take a bottle (though he drank a shot glass with breastmilk at 4 days of age!).
So, I don't have any experience with working + pumping + annoying co-workers. I think it would have reduced me to tears, first, and then to legal action, second!
All of this really surprises me about her. She is a very radical feminist. Very "a woman CAN do anything a man can do, except produce sperm" type of gal. She is a former Marine. She plays hockey. She doesn't need a man to complete her nor to compliment her (her words). But, she does love men, too. I just can't understand her extreme reaction to the breastfeeding thing.
I don't see the subject coming up again while she is visiting (she leaves early Wednesday morning). But, if it does (I don't plan on mentioning it), does anyone have some calm replies to her lame arguments?
Though she works for and at a Federal agency, I would think that state laws would still protect the co-worker. I just wanted some clarification if the subject comes up, again.
Thanks, in advance!
P.S. On the good side of this, ds (age almost-10 years old) was up in the loft, listening to the conversation. He asked us later, "What is "A's" problem with breastfeeding? You'd think a woman would be understanding! I guess she's not as cool and smart as I thought she was."
The other night, she was talking about her co-workers. One, a woman, just had a baby a couple of months ago. She is breastfeeding and, sometimes, brings the baby to work (at the discretion of the individual office, they can bring their babies to work for the first 6 months).
Well, our friend was going ballistic about this co-worker's pumping! She said, "Gah! I walk into the bathroom and there she is, her udder hooked up to her pump and it is just gross! Nobody wants to see her boobs in the workplace! It's as bad as when I was here and XXX was doing the same thing in the women's room here. At least her boobs were so small the milking machine covered them. Co-workers is built like a 2000 lb -bad word- dairy cow!"
I, asked, gently (because she is a friend, we were having dinner and I didn't want to turn it into a battle), where should she pump? It wasn't like it was at her desk, it's the women's bathroom. Nobody else is seeing anything, except other women, and it isn't like they've never seen breasts before! (trying to keep the conversation as light as I can).
She said she complained to her supervisor about the bathroom pumping and how offensive it is and the woman was told she couldn't do it in the bathroom anymore, she could do it in another area. Well, our friend goes on to say that the new place is worse, it's public, a storage area where they hang their spraying clothes (there would be noxious weeds chemicals there) and it is where the guys sometimes change out of their clothes, when they come in from the field. So, now it is also an inconvenience, as far as our friend is concerned, 'cause the guys have to change someplace else. The "Milk Cow" is now in their area.
She said she complained, again, to her supervisor on the error of this new location just before her vacation (ongoing now) and said she assumes things will be different when she returns to work, after this present visit to our place.
In other words, she doesn't want this woman to be pumping OR breastfeeding at work. She should stay home with her kid and that is that.
I was angry. But, like I said, I was trying to be polite and keep the peace.
I did mention that the co-worker IS protected, by law, and it is her legal right to breastfeed wherever, whenever she wants, and that I thought it was too bad that she had to pump in the women's room in the first place. Who would want their food prepared in a public restroom??
And, that they had better watch out, because the woman had all the makings of a harrassment claim because of being asked to pump in an area with possibly toxic chemicals. It didn't really matter if it bothered anyone, it is her legal right to do this.
Dh was nodding with what I said. He agrees with me and (said later) he thought I was doing just fine!!
She pretty much simmered down at this point. I don't know if it was the words I said or the cool tone as I said them. She changed the subject and we continued our evening.
But, now I can't stop thinking about this. I was, and am, a sahm. I nursed ds until he was 4 1/2 years old. I had a pump (as a just-in-case thing) and used it, perhaps, half a dozen times. Ds never would take a bottle (though he drank a shot glass with breastmilk at 4 days of age!).
So, I don't have any experience with working + pumping + annoying co-workers. I think it would have reduced me to tears, first, and then to legal action, second!
All of this really surprises me about her. She is a very radical feminist. Very "a woman CAN do anything a man can do, except produce sperm" type of gal. She is a former Marine. She plays hockey. She doesn't need a man to complete her nor to compliment her (her words). But, she does love men, too. I just can't understand her extreme reaction to the breastfeeding thing.
I don't see the subject coming up again while she is visiting (she leaves early Wednesday morning). But, if it does (I don't plan on mentioning it), does anyone have some calm replies to her lame arguments?
Though she works for and at a Federal agency, I would think that state laws would still protect the co-worker. I just wanted some clarification if the subject comes up, again.
Thanks, in advance!
P.S. On the good side of this, ds (age almost-10 years old) was up in the loft, listening to the conversation. He asked us later, "What is "A's" problem with breastfeeding? You'd think a woman would be understanding! I guess she's not as cool and smart as I thought she was."
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i think i would have exploded
Holy freakin' crap..
How dare she be treated like that. I've gotta hand it to her, though - just the fact that she continued to keep it up after being treated so horribly repeatedly.....
