Montana breastfeeding laws and an angry co-worker? - Page 2

[siobhang]

re: the fact that she is a radical feminist.

I have found that in certain feminist circles, when women do things that are traditionally feminine, they are seen as suspect, or at worst, a betrayal.

And there is nothing more traditonally feminine than having a baby.

Breastfeeding and accommodating breastfeeding fits into this context because it seems to be "naturalizing" women, which has been used by some to prevent women from having equal rights and opportunities as men - the "for their own protection" or "for the baby's protection" arguments.

So in this context, if you see gender as entirely a social construct, the act of pumping at work or nursing in public, can be seen as a conservative, "naturalist" argument whichcan be deeply threatening.

I doubt your friend really understands the depth of her distaste. I mean, I am sure she would be accomodating and understanding if someone had a disability or medical concern which required more "exposure" to others - but because it is pumping breastmilk, it is somehow "offensive".

I think asking some good questions about why she is offended would be really useful, especially since she is also using very offensive body judgements of her co-worker - which as a radical feminist, she should be well aware of the long standing and current objectification of women due to their size/body shape.

[fascha]

That is so gross I can't even compose my thoughts to offer an intelligent response to this thread, but felt that at the very least, I needed to let you know how disgusted I am with your friend LOL

She is absolutely not a feminist. I don't know why but many times women see feminism as ONLY doing what men traditionally used to do rather than having the choice to do so, which IMO, is true feminism.

I suspect that your friend isn't in touch with her true feelings about motherhood and is deflecting some of her own insecurities onto this poor woman who's now pumping in a broomcloset for the love of God! LOL

Just shaking my head.

[Kappa]

Wow, just wow. Have you known your friend to harass and bully others at the workplace? Maybe she does not like the pumping Momma personally, and is being aggressive about her dislike. Or feels she has to prove her bona fides to her male (or even female) superiors. It seems like she may have been trying to show her boss that she would never be a pumping mother, and trying to get brownie points (get onto the short list as promotion material) or something for her choices. She's saying, "sure, I'm a woman, but at least I'm not a mother and you've gotta give me some credit for that." The conditions that the mother is pumping in seem ridiculous, so now everyone is uncomfortable and inconvenienced because your friend's eyes are so delicate she can't stand to see a roll or 2 of flesh before quickly averting her eyes, because, ick, it's a boobie. There's more to it than that, she's on a crusade.

[Mbella]

I pumped for dd when I worked. I was a teacher and could pump in my locked classroom when the students weren't there. I always felt self-conscious and worried that someone with a key would walk in on me. I cannot imagine how that poor pumping mom must have felt! That woman is harassing that mom. Normally I am a shy person, but if this was a friend of mine saying all of these awful things I would have lost it and told her exactly what I think!

[Swan3]

Originally Posted by Kappa

There's more to it than that, she's on a crusade.

I think that's what bothers me about this as well, she's not just offended by it...she's bent on shaming and crushing this poor BF mom. If this were my friend I'd really question her motives and her character. Her behaviour is bullying and cruel.

[_betsy_]

I would have THANKED HER for standing up for the pumping mother's rights not to have pump in the bathroom or in a public area filled with nasty chemicals!

[Swan3]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

I would have THANKED HER for standing up for the pumping mother's rights not to have pump in the bathroom or in a public area filled with nasty chemicals!

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by Swan3

Deliberately misunderstanding and saying that the friend is helping the woman gain privacy instead of forcing her to stop or quit.

[KirstenMary]

Originally Posted by Swan3

I think that's what bothers me about this as well, she's not just offended by it...she's bent on shaming and crushing this poor BF mom. If this were my friend I'd really question her motives and her character. Her behaviour is bullying and cruel.

And since the law is on the side of this mother, I think she should contact her HR department and file a harassment claim.

[sapphire_chan]

She sounds like a misogynistic woman. The sort that believes that because women can do anything a man can do they shouldn't do anything only women can do.

(And I'm in awe at your self control. I would've been hard pressed not to dump my food on her head.)

[sapphire_chan]

Your friend made another complaint right before going on vacation? So the woman who had the tenacity to keep pumping in a hostile environment is at work without your friend around.
your friend might not have a job to go back to after vacation.

[diascia]

Ugh. I feel so bad for that poor woman. I work for the Feds in a very male dominated field with a bunch of feminist women...all who pumped for their babies, including myself. I would be seeing HR or talking to my union rep about harrasment if I was that person.

[MadameXCupcake]

I'm sorry but I could NOT have a friend like that. I could not associate myself with someone that would go out of her way to stop a breast feeding relationship.

[kriket]

Originally Posted by Swan3

Maybe something like "as a feminist"

I hate when people say this.
People seem to say it a lot to me, 1. I don't think of myself as a "feminist" (maybe that makes me more of a feminist, it's catch 22) 2. Is there a guidebook somewhere about how 'feminists' are supposed to act?

She is obviously being irrational. I'm surprised OP talked to her this long about it. I can't have discussions with people who are being this irrational.

I feel bad for the mama. I'm surprised she's taken so much. I know personally I have thought about the technicalities of pumping with a cover at my desk. I share a desk face to face with a man. Which is the only reason I would cover at my desk

[Swan3]

Originally Posted by kriket

I hate when people say this.
People seem to say it a lot to me, 1. I don't think of myself as a "feminist" (maybe that makes me more of a feminist, it's catch 22) 2. Is there a guidebook somewhere about how 'feminists' are supposed to act?

Not really, but if this woman comes across as a radical feminist it's fair to say that she'd agree with the importance of recognizing women's rights...and this just happens to be one of them.

I'd be cool with pulling the feminist card here....no qualms about it at all.