along with withholding food as punishment....using food as reward

[langyork]

My son's school constantly gives out candy and cookies as rewards. I asked them twice not to do this and they felt they had to call me about it.

they don't stop doing this, they just have my son be different. DUHHH!!!

[meemee]

which part dont you like.

that they give rewards?

or that they give candy?

if i were in your shoes i would go to teh teacher or principal and see if you could get them (even maybe volunteer to provide it) to give something else.

but what i would not do is ask them to exempt my child from getting it. whether it is candy or whatever.

it makes the child stand out as an oddity. that is not acceptable to me. plus my dd looooooves candy and cookie and i wouldnt want her to miss that.

i dont like both. i dont like the idea of rewards. nor do i like candy/cookie.

but i have to deal with it at public school. but thankfully her school doesnt do it v. often nor do they give out candy or cookies.

since her school does do rewards i am extra careful of being aware myself that i dont do it. i am also v. careful that the rare times i do say 'thank you' i mean it. i prefer explaining why i appreciate what she did. being more specific. whether she did it for herself or for me.

[langyork]

the candy and cookies. I have given them little prizes for four classes so my son would not be different.

They just don't listen to me at all. They told me that it doesn't happen that often. I see it happen at least once a week.

The stupid thing is that the school is always sending us notes not to send candy for snack and goodies for birthdays.

[meemee]

oh boy that's asinine. to give the very thing they send home notes about!!!

is it candy in all the classrooms?

can you find out what other classes do? hopefully one of them dont do candy.

is this a public school? i have noticed ur options might be limited.

[Zach'smom]

Food is not meant for punishment or rewards. You eat because your body needs it to function. Using food as punishment or rewards sets little kids up for food issues when they get older.

[cosmos]

Originally Posted by langyork

The stupid thing is that the school is always sending us notes not to send candy for snack and goodies for birthdays.

I think this is not an accident. That way only they can hold the candy and get the kids to do what they want.

[TattooedMommy]

Please don't make your child be "different" if it's not medically related. I was that "different" kid and it sucked! I'm still in therapy.

[orangewallflower]

With diabetes rates so high it is very surprising to me to hear that a school is doing this. Wow, I'd be mad!

[octobermom]

DD school on occasion give out candy but she can't eat it at school it has to go home and they the parents decide after that. DD dislikes almost all candy so while shes thinks its ubber cool she got some she wont touch it.

Deanna

[WC_hapamama]

Originally Posted by cosmos

I think this is not an accident. That way only they can hold the candy and get the kids to do what they want.

A lot of schools ask parents not to send in food for birthdays due to wellness policies and food allergies.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by TattooedMommy

Please don't make your child be "different" if it's not medically related. I was that "different" kid and it sucked! I'm still in therapy.

But this is in relation to snacks being given to the kid that aren't really good for their teeth and could cause hyperactivity

Originally Posted by langyork

The stupid thing is that the school is always sending us notes not to send candy for snack and goodies for birthdays.

that's crazy! That's how my child's school was last year. And of course the teacher always had skittles or fruit roll-ups in her drawer for kids who didn't have a snack. ?? Are skittles and roll-ups considered healthy to teachers?

[BennyPai]

My dd's pre-school did this. She no longer goes there.

[ecoteat]

If you've talked with the principal, and you were told it doesn't happen often, she might have no idea what each teacher does in the classroom on a day-to-day basis. I've known plenty of teachers that kept a stash of treats for rewards. I think you should talk to the teacher directly and offer suggestions for treats that aren't total junk. I knew one teacher that kept one of those big plastic barrels of pretzel rods. My 4th grade teacher gave out carob chips. We kids had no idea that was a healthier version of chocolate--we just thought it was some other brand or something.

I agree that you shouldn't encourage the school to treat your son differently--ALL kids benefit from healthier snacks! Try to help the teacher come up with different incentives. (I'm a teacher, and years ago I tried the candy reward route and realized it was dumb. The kids don't need that junk, it didn't really do much for them as far a reinforcement goes, and if I kept it in my classroom I ended up eating it all anyway!)

[cosmos]

Originally Posted by WC_hapamama

A lot of schools ask parents not to send in food for birthdays due to wellness policies and food allergies.

Not to be super particular, but the OP indicated that this school is giving her child candy and treats, and not allowing the parents to send any. Seems really odd, don't you think?

[jennifercp8]

I used to teach middle school, and we were constantly giving out food as treats. It still bothers me to this day. And I tried to give out other things (stickers, pencils, bouncy balls, etc), but they didn't go over as well because everyone else was handing out candy.

At the end of each grading period, students were given a "Positive Perk" if they had no referrals for that grading period. They were handed out in homeroom, and then redeemed at lunch for a can of soda.

Students could earn "cool tool tickets" on a daily basis from a teacher for just doing the right thing. If I saw a student pick up a piece of trash and throw it away, I could give them a cool tool. I was encouraged to stand in the hallway with a stack of them during my hall duty and hand them out freely. They were redeemed at lunch for a piece of candy, and twice a week they were drawn raffle style for a spin on the wheel. The prizes were a little better - GC's, small toys, bag of microwave popcorn, etc.

And for a bigger job done, I could hand out a certificate (can't remember what they were called) when a student went beyond their normal responsibilities. They were redeemed once a week at lunch for an ice cream sandwich.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of all the other candy handed out on the sly, or just because. The band teacher used to stand at the door with a bucket of candy for the students who brought their instruments home over the weekend.

It got really frustrating - but while I was frustrated by it, it was a system that I had to buy into. I think that if you (as a parent) are frustrated, start brainstorming with a teacher who you know and trust. They might have a few different ideas of rewards/treats that don't involve candy. That teacher can talk with other teachers (who might be as equally tired of the candy), and then start bringing change forward. I think this is a topic that needs to be handled from the bottom (the teachers), and then they can present a concrete idea to the top.

(I used to eat a lot of it myself, too. )

[langyork]

Great ideas, mamas, thank you. This school wants no communication from the parents. I've talked to the principal about it and get nothing but anxiety.

They do have a no birthday treat policy.

OK! How am I supposed to have my son not be different though? I also make him choose white milk for snack and lunch. Every single other kid chooses chocolate milk 10 times a week. That is too much. Maybe for Friday lunch.

Once in a while would be ok with me, but I don't think they realize how much it is.

[lilylove]

I'm dealing with this now too. Dd is in first grade and gets a skittle or mini box of candy several times a week. I was hoping it was something that would fade as things settled into the school year. I volunteer in the class room and pick my Dd up from school a couple times a week just so I can get to know the teacher and be involved. I really hope this will help me talk to her about the candy issue. I love all the great ideas to offer!! I'm trying to figure out how to bring up the issue without making her feel defensive. Any ideas?


I also want to talk to the school about the food choices they offer in the cafeteria. They offer a breakfast to students that includes things like trix cereal bars!! :Puke

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by lilylove

I also want to talk to the school about the food choices they offer in the cafeteria. They offer a breakfast to students that includes things like trix cereal bars!! :Puke

Here it's "pancake on a stick" which is a sausage dipped in pancake batter and deep fried.

[Ruthla]

It's unlikely they'll change their "reward based discipline" system, but the teachers might be convinced to switch from candy/cookies to stickers and/or cheap plastic MIC toys as rewards.

If you go to the teacher with concrete solutions "How about handing out stickers instead of suckers?" you're more likely to be met with co-operation than if you just complain about the junk food.


The "school wants no communication from the parents" would bother me on many levels, not just the food issue.

[langyork]

Sugar is not good for anyone. I think the cafeteria just looks at fat as bad. The breakfasts are loaded with sugar.