Originally Posted by Charbeau
My husband and I were sure we were only going to have 2 children when I was pregnant with DS last year. We always said we wanted 2 and we had a DD and then a DS and we were content. We have changed our minds. You would think that we wanted to do something really radical by having more children based on what friends and family keep saying. And the comments are always off-hand jokes, which makes them seem like they are flippant and not to be taken seriously, yet I know they are. And the kicker is that I am not even pregnant again yet! I guess they are trying to talk us out of it?
What is the deal? If you have an only child you get questions about why not give the child a sibling and if you want more than 2 people think you are crazy. Why is this? I just can't imagine making some of the rude comments to other people that I've gotten about wanting at least one more child, possibly 2 more.
Two works for us for several reasons:
- I am a good mom to each of my kids - I can give them each adequate time & attention, and when DH is available, each child can get 100% adult focused attention. If we had more than two, that's less time each child has with each of us. That's not acceptable to either of us.
- We choose to send our children to a private Montessori school; this wouldn't be possible for us with more children.
- I choose to work with my husband, both in & out of the home, at our business which we built ourselves, and this wouldn't be practical with more children.
- I had two c sections, both medically necessary, one emergency, and I am unwilling to risk another one - either for myself or for future children.
- Both of my babies came early; my son a month early. I don't want to push our luck with an even earlier delivery.
All of these were factors in our decision making for our own family.
While I can admit when I see parents of many children, I do say to myself things like, "wow" or "where do they have the patience/time/money", I've never said these out loud, and I wouldn't assume my decisions would be or should be the same as others decisions.