Also posted in Gentle Discipline....
I am asking for advice on what to bring up in a conversation I'll be having soon with my son's kindergarten teacher and the school principal.
We started this fall at a private school known both for its high academic standards and for its pursuit of diversity, which means that they give a lot of scholarships (we have one) and there are also a good number of openly gay & lesbian parents.
Other than that, the school is a pretty traditional prep school, which I was not that excited about since my son was formerly in a Montessori program and a cooperative preschool, and if I wasn't a single mom I'd probably be homeschooling. But money and logistics made most of the decision here, and I also am not totally opposed to an organized school day. I also assumed, perhaps with no real basis, that a school that celebrated diversity would be somewhat progressive with other parts of their philosophy.
However, it has recently come to light that my son's teacher uses tactics like sending a child to a chair in the corner alone as punishment when they get too silly or disrespectful, and she also writes kids' names on the board inside a box called the "not helpful" box. In our first parent-teacher conference last week, she told us they were working on "breaking" my son of not wanting to transition to the next activity (she used the word several times), which often makes him cry.
Apparently my son, who is usually very sweet and mellow at home, has also been goofing around pretty extremely at school, won't stop making faces that make the other kids laugh, etc. He was actually sent to another room to sit alone as a punishment last week, something no one told me about until 2 days later.
I also just found out from another parent that my son was put in "the chair" in the corner on the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, and that the boys are often sent there.
Right now I feel very calm, but I have been extremely upset by what I regard as using public humiliation as a disciplinary tactic. All of this information is brand new to me, and I am still shocked that a school like this has teachers that do such things, to the point that I am not even sure what to say. I do know that I don't see, at this point, that there is anything she could say to win me over to this technique.
People are always telling me what a calm, sweet, funny kid I have. Yes, he has bratty and melodramatic moments (he's 5!) but I have never heard anyone complain about his behavior like this teacher has -- not even close.
Any suggestions as to how to handle this? What should I ask? What should i expect from this meeting?
I am asking for advice on what to bring up in a conversation I'll be having soon with my son's kindergarten teacher and the school principal.
We started this fall at a private school known both for its high academic standards and for its pursuit of diversity, which means that they give a lot of scholarships (we have one) and there are also a good number of openly gay & lesbian parents.
Other than that, the school is a pretty traditional prep school, which I was not that excited about since my son was formerly in a Montessori program and a cooperative preschool, and if I wasn't a single mom I'd probably be homeschooling. But money and logistics made most of the decision here, and I also am not totally opposed to an organized school day. I also assumed, perhaps with no real basis, that a school that celebrated diversity would be somewhat progressive with other parts of their philosophy.
However, it has recently come to light that my son's teacher uses tactics like sending a child to a chair in the corner alone as punishment when they get too silly or disrespectful, and she also writes kids' names on the board inside a box called the "not helpful" box. In our first parent-teacher conference last week, she told us they were working on "breaking" my son of not wanting to transition to the next activity (she used the word several times), which often makes him cry.
Apparently my son, who is usually very sweet and mellow at home, has also been goofing around pretty extremely at school, won't stop making faces that make the other kids laugh, etc. He was actually sent to another room to sit alone as a punishment last week, something no one told me about until 2 days later.
I also just found out from another parent that my son was put in "the chair" in the corner on the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, and that the boys are often sent there.
Right now I feel very calm, but I have been extremely upset by what I regard as using public humiliation as a disciplinary tactic. All of this information is brand new to me, and I am still shocked that a school like this has teachers that do such things, to the point that I am not even sure what to say. I do know that I don't see, at this point, that there is anything she could say to win me over to this technique.
People are always telling me what a calm, sweet, funny kid I have. Yes, he has bratty and melodramatic moments (he's 5!) but I have never heard anyone complain about his behavior like this teacher has -- not even close.
Any suggestions as to how to handle this? What should I ask? What should i expect from this meeting?
I didn't believe it and when I got down to the bottom of it the director told me that my son was actually just "tagging along" and following the lead of the other boys but that she had to discipline all 3 boys since they were together and in order to be fair and be an example to the whole class.
That happened a lot with one of my other children in kindergarten one year. Regardless, I'd talk to someone at the school.
