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Here's a place to vent or cry or release.  

post #1 of 43
10/29/08 at 10:29pm
Thread Starter 
Please join me. I just need a place to put my frustrations and troubles. So I thought this could be a confession box.

~ I am doing ivf #3c and am very apprehensive about it. Baseline is Friday.
~My inlaws are visiting tomorrow and I am even more apprehensive about that :Puke.
~ My Mom is in the hospital and I am : for her to get better.
post #2 of 43
10/29/08 at 10:31pm
That seems like a lot to be going through all at one time. Stress sucks!
post #3 of 43
10/29/08 at 11:02pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for commiserating and I agree completely stress sucks!
post #4 of 43
10/29/08 at 11:47pm
Can I add my vent?

- my BFF, who I am at odds with because of lack of support with our infertility (TTC#1 for 30 cycles), just emailed me a nasty, self-centered email ending with the news that she's PG and due in March (oops). How's that for a knife in the gut?

Besides all the normal stuff we face on a day to day basis, I am beyond my breakin point.
post #5 of 43
10/30/08 at 12:18am
Thread Starter 
Omg ~ Tootles that is awful. What a crappy, no good, awful e mail from your bff.
post #6 of 43
10/30/08 at 12:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seedlings View Post
Omg ~ Tootles that is awful. What a crappy, no good, awful e mail from your bff.
thanks. I guess she's not my bff now, huh?

I hope your mom's health improves and good luck with IVF#3c!
post #7 of 43
10/30/08 at 12:57am
Thread Starter 
My Mom God Bless her is tough and I am praying for her to be strong and healthy. She had hysterectomy surgery on Friday to remove cancer. But she has MS and diabetes so the recovery is slow. She has developed a bad infection in her bowel, has another infection in her bladder and fluid on her lungs. I saw her today and had to wear a protective gown and gloves (her infection is contagious) and I could tell she was visibly shaken. So tomorrow I am going to ditch my passively agressive inlaws and see her.
post #8 of 43
10/30/08 at 3:37am
Ugg. Count me in for venting.

I got to play "Guess Who's Pregnant" twice today. TWICE! : It always irks me how easily people get pregnant (one month of trying???) especially when they don't even want to (ONE broken condom???). Having my DHs totally immature friend get his gf of 2 months pregnant really irked me. Does it always have to be so easy for everybody but us?

Then to twist the knife deeper, I call my mom (great woman but really not the person I should have called when looking for compassion and understanding and support) who told me "Maybe it's just not meant to be for you". Gee. That helps.
post #9 of 43
10/30/08 at 10:28am
Infertility stinks.

We are gearing up for IVF#2. (DS1 is a clomid baby, DS2 is IVF baby)

I hate the stress of hanging around waiting for Dr's phone calls. Your whole life revolves around your fertilitry procedures. I'm waiting for insurance approval, then after we start I will be waiting for follie counts and sizes and meds etc, then when to trigger. etc. Makes me feel completely out of control. Like I'm just waiting around by the phone all day...

Wish babymaking could just be a bedroom/private matter like it is for most...
post #10 of 43
10/30/08 at 12:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrganicSister View Post
Then to twist the knife deeper, I call my mom (great woman but really not the person I should have called when looking for compassion and understanding and support) who told me "Maybe it's just not meant to be for you". Gee. That helps.
When random people say it it hurts, but when your MOM says stuff like that it's like a knife in the heart. My mom tried to tell me that God was playing games with my life so that I would turn towards Him more. I was so mad! How could she really believe that God was playing games with my life and is sitting up there laughing at our suffering!?! Did she think that was going to make me feel better? Was she trying to make me feel guilty for not going to temple often enough?

I have no interest in telling her about the bfp. She's going to try to take credit somehow. My sister was saying that as soon as I tell her she's going to say how glad she is that she went to X religious function because that is the reason that I conceived. And you know what? After all the drugs, blood draws, ultrasounds, dr's appointments, money, IUIs, and tears, SHE DOESN'T GET CREDIT FOR THIS. I mean, I don't either. It's dumb luck either way. But it's DEFINITELY not her acheivement.
post #11 of 43
10/30/08 at 1:45pm
to all of you! I am sure that I will be here soon.
post #12 of 43
10/30/08 at 1:49pm
Some of these stories are absolutely awful. This is such a hard thing to go through without the people you care about saying such insensitive things. Last weekend DH and I went out to lunch with a dear friend of mine, her boyfriend, and another woman who I don't know all that well. This friend is one of only TWO of my friends to whom I've told anything about all of this stuff. At lunch, in public, in front of her boyfriend and the woman I don't know, she asks me how everything is going with the clomid, etc. I lost it. Yelled at her, pointed at the other woman saying "I barely know her!", and then said pretty much nothing for the rest of lunch.

Two days go by, and I hear nothing from her. Then I get an email saying that she wants to apologize and that she didn't realize how "close to the surface" all of this was. SERIOUSLY??? I told her that it's the most personal and private thing and that it was terribly insensitive of her and reminded her that she was one of only two of my friend that even know about it so that I certainly wouldn't want to discuss it in front of her bf and a total stranger. She never said anything else about it and is now pretending that nothing happened. The next email I got from her was asking me to write a letter of reference for her. Rest assured I will not be telling her anything about this stuff ever again.
post #13 of 43
10/30/08 at 2:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrganicSister View Post
Ugg. Count me in for venting.

I got to play "Guess Who's Pregnant" twice today. TWICE! : It always irks me how easily people get pregnant (one month of trying???) especially when they don't even want to (ONE broken condom???). Having my DHs totally immature friend get his gf of 2 months pregnant really irked me. Does it always have to be so easy for everybody but us?
I hear ya!! You happen to live in VA? My bff's sister is preg...by a guy she has dated MAYBE 2 months, no insurance, her parents don't like the guy, and she is still freakin married to someone else!! WTH?!? Sometimes I think I am too normal to get preg again!!


also, my other bff is preg...which I couldn't be happier about. I have no jealousy whatsoever-really surprised cause I thought I would be a lil jealous. But I feel like she is avoiding me. It could be my imgination and I am just a little sensitive right now, but I have been the one doing all the "inviting" to go shopping, eating, etc. and she has one excuse or another. I KNOW how tiresome you get in the beginning of your pregnancy, but she has always been my "distraction" during my 2ww... guess I need to stop being needy! lol!
post #14 of 43
10/30/08 at 6:11pm
Last week while I was making an appointment with the RE for our intitial consultation my co-worker who is 6 months pregnant walked right past me. I was at work making the phone call in the hallway at work (can't do it in the office) when she walked by me and said hello. She is 39 years old and just got pregnant by an oopsey. Her and her dh was maybe thinking about a 3rd, they were not sure. They were even thinking about a vasectomy and bam shes pregnant. So they figure maybe they can try a few months and see if it worked. Well lo and behold prego first month try. This is SICK, here I am making an appointment for an RE visit and she walked right by me with her big belly.

I feel like crap. My cousin annouced she is pregnant and now this week 3 co-workers just annouced also. Today, at a meeting I had to sit right across my co-worker who is going to pop any day now and all she was doing was rubbing her tummy all the time. ARGH

I need to vent, sorry if I used the age thing, no offense to anyone, its my own personal misery I am going through.
post #15 of 43
10/30/08 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seedlings View Post
Please join me. I just need a place to put my frustrations and troubles. So I thought this could be a confession box.

~ I am doing ivf #3c and am very apprehensive about it. Baseline is Friday.
~My inlaws are visiting tomorrow and I am even more apprehensive about that :Puke.
~ My Mom is in the hospital and I am : for her to get better.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am hoping your mom is doing ok. Please take care of yourself.
post #16 of 43
11/1/08 at 2:01am
to everyone

my whiny vent-Secondary Infertility Sucks

My best friend announced she's pg with #2 of course without trying- she told me when she called to ask my opinion that she thinks she's 2wks late. She also got pg with #1 without trying.

#1 took 3months but i only think that was because of coming off bc pills a few months before ttc.
#2 took me 2 back to back m/c's one being a missed m/c that didn't pass til what would had been 13wks gestation baby had died at 6wk or 8 wk depending on what u/s you go by yet they were each done 1wk apart.
and 1 month shy of the 1 yr mark before getting pg.

#3 we have already passed the 1 yr mark and so far 1 possible chemical pg.

post #17 of 43
11/1/08 at 2:48am
I don't usually post over in this forum (I hang out mostly in the special needs area) but I wanted to chime in here too if you don't mind


We have been dealing with secondary infertility since 2002. We can't afford IUI or IVF. For us, it just has to happen We have a lot on our plates but I can't even begin to describe the pain of wanting one more.

Our ds8 was born extremely premature. I wasn't able to BF him. We lost so much time with him and his first year was basically spent in and out of the hospital.

The dr's suspect that I have adenomyosis and another autoimmune issue. I'm also overweight so that's not helping plus my progesterone levels are low. I don't know if it will ever happen for us and now I'm 35. The clock is ticking and every month it's like more salt is being rubbed into the wound

Thanks for listening
post #18 of 43
11/2/08 at 12:10am
Welcome mykdsmomy! And to everyone. A vent thread was sooooo needed, thanks for starting it!! I haven't been posting much lately because I don't have much to say except *%$#@!%$*&!!!! And I feel quilty for being cranky because so many of my friends are going through tough times and I should be grateful for what I've got etc etc. But my work is so annoying and stressful, my dh is super busy, I have taken on too much in my life and I just started bcps in preparation for a FET and they make me constipated!!!!!!! (What? No constipated smiley?)
post #19 of 43
11/2/08 at 10:29pm
Well now I feel like a real b*tch. Here I was angry and venting about my DHs friends being pregnant and I just found out one of them miscarried.

songbird45: I am SO sorry. That's kind of mindset baffles me anyway but when you're mom says it and says it about something like this....

DaisyMae: I have one friend who doesn't understand the meaning of private either. She's told a few people. It bothers me but I know her intentions were not negative. Insensitive, but not purposeful. I have to constantly remind myself that people who have not walked this path really don't understand how things affect those of us who do.
post #20 of 43
11/3/08 at 1:22pm
Well...at a party this weekend a friend was complaining about the progesterone gel she has to take to conceive. I acted conciliatory, but inside was just fuming. It's worse because she knows some others in the group, including me (although she doesn't know about me) had to go thru ivf. Taking one measly prescription to acheive pregnancy, and not even with a needle, is nothing. Besides that, she's the youngest one in our group and she gets pregnant at the drop of a hat. Uuugggghhhh.

On a separate note...I HATE waiting! When actively trying, I can handle the stress so much better. Now that I just have to sit on my hands as the clock ticks louder and louder, it's driving me crazy! (and making me witchy to my dh )

On a good note...getting a flu shot was easy peasy. After all the needles and shots I've given myself, it was nothing at all.
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