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She won't poo poo on the potty!

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
So here is our story my dd decided she wanted to use the potty on her own at 2 years 5 months. I had not talked to her about the potty she just decided on her own one day, she said "Mommy I don't want to wear diapers, I want to wear panties!" It was horrible timing my Dad had just had a heart attatck two days earlier, but I went with it because I said she must be ready! Well she does great, very few "accidents"! However she will only have a BM in her diaper at naptime! (She still wears a diaper at nap and bedtime!) I know she must have control of her bowels because she does not ever have poo poo accidents only pee pee! It would not really bother me accept the problem is I put her to bed and then I put ds to bed and invaribly she will start calling loudly for me to change her just as he is nursing to sleep! What should I do? I tend to look at this process as potty learning and not training since she is not a dog, however on the other hand how can I break her of this habit? Any gentle suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks!
P.S. She is now 2 years 8 1/2 months!
post #2 of 12
I used bribery. Tried everything else first, including showing her how I dump the poop in the toilet, having her watch us poop (the things we do as parents). The more I suggested and pushed, the more she resisted. Finally I had a standing offer that she would get a mini candy bar when she pooped on the potty. I put it out where she could see it but not reach it, and reminded her of it often. Then left her alone. 2 days later she came running to me to have me see the poop she'd just done on the potty! Then quickly asked for the candy. She's been great with bms ever since.

Maybe your dd wants privacy and that's why she does it in her room. I was offering to sit with dd on the potty and read to her, but turns out she wants privacy. To this day she will sneak off and if I follow her she'll tell me to stay away. Then a few minutes later she'll call me to admire her "goods."

post #3 of 12
My dd occasionally poops in the potty, but generally asks us for a diaper, poops in it, and then we change her and get back into underpants.

I have talked to lots of parents who have experienced this as a step along the way..it's not at all uncommon...obviously it's not a matter of bowel control, but more a matter of comfort (physical or psychological, who knows).

I'm surprised that I've never read about it in a book, since many parents have described this phenomenon to me.

I think the MOST important thing is to view this as part of the process and not put pressure on her about pooping...I think that will only backfire...you don't want to create any power struggles about poop, because she'll always win them! She's still pretty young in terms of the potty learning curve, and I bet she'll grow out of this.
post #4 of 12


regarding bribery. I am a big fan of this approach -- it worked in our house, as my dd was fully trained by her second birthday.

I don;t mean to make this sound easy, because there were MONTHS of potty-learning prior to this grand event, but ultimately I offered her a special treat that we often enjoyed spontaneously (chocloate candies) for when she went on the potty, and I stopped giving them to her in the normal course of a day. It just happened to work. The offer was out there, and it took her a couple days but at some point she just started using the potty and she has never stopped (well, we have had our not-so-good-days since the baby arrive,d but that's another thread altogether...).

I still use bribery for potty-ing, as she can get rather stubborn now that she is 2.5. It's the one circumstance I find it to be not only useful but practically necessary for.

Good luck -- HTH
post #5 of 12

Wow. We had the same situation ... but with a 4yo and now another almost-4-yo. Will only poop in diapers, no matter what.

I'm very impressed that you're already dealing with it with a 2yo.

She's very advanced ...

Oh, and obviously I have no advice on this. Zero. Zip.

We were just happy when he changed his mind ... looking forward to her changing her mind now, too ... and BTW, he just kept insisting he'd do it when he was 5. And he did, starting on his birthday. She hasn't given us a date yet, though ...

post #6 of 12
A friend swears by playing with pla-doh as an inducement to poop. Maybe if you could get her interested in the pla-doh about an hour after dinner or lunch, and combine this with the offer of candy if she poops, she'd have the urge and the incentive at the right time.

Dd used to do this too - she'd hang out in her room before we took her nighttime diaper off and poop in private. She hasn't done it in a few weeks and it had totally slipped my mind!

I just let it run its course, but I don't yet have two, so it was easier.
post #7 of 12
i'm not sure I actually have any advice, but have you tried just not putting her in a diaper? our 3yo dd was using the potty to pee and poop right around 2. We let her run around naked or at least diaperless most of the time, this of course made a few messes, but nothing that couldn't be cleaned up. about every hour i would make a big whoping deal about taking a "potty break" bells, whistles the whole bit, it was a very fun exciting thing to do. We would drop every thing we were doing as fast as we could and run to the potty (kind of a game) and then of course make a huge deal about her going! sometimes we even called Nana! Anyway this works for us, we have 23mo son who is doing the same thing now he uses the potty a lot (even occasionally asking) he has accidents but we are getting there. Good luck to you, hope that this helps
post #8 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much for all of your advice! As much as I really hate bribery, I decided I would try it yesterday! I figured it would not be that horrible to try once! Then I told my dh, now if we do this method will she want to poop every time she sees a lollipop!:LOL
I just hate saying if you do x then you get a treat! However, I talked to her yesterday about going poo poo on the potty and she said NO, diaper, so I said if you go poo poo on the potty then I will give you a lollipop. Well I almost fell over at her response, she said ok and RAN to the potty and wouldn't you know she went! Now not a whole lot, but of course I made this huge wahoo deal of it! Now today she tried, but could not go and she wanted a diaper for her nap, but she went to sleep without pooping first! I told her she could have some candy when she woke up if she did not poo poo in her diaper! We will see, yesterday she slept in panties and woke up very upset because she had a pee pee accident! She just does not have the control when she is sleeping, I don't want to rush her and I think she is doing so well, I just wish she would stop the pooping in the diaper, since it is such a conscious thing! So we will see! Anyone else have any other insight? Thanks again for all your help!
post #9 of 12
I have no insight to offer the OP, but I wanted to keep this thread going because we are experiencing something similar. I agree with pinky that none of the books seem to address this hump in the potty learning curve. My 20 month old dd started peeing in the potty on her own about a month ago. She will go reliably if she is naked or at least bottomless. However, she will never poop in the potty, and will not ask for a diaper to poop in. I actually wouldn't mind an accident on the floor, but what concerns me most is that I think if she has to poop and is not wearing a diaper she holds the poop rather than having an accident or using the potty. Tonight she was grabbing her bottom, and when I asked her if she wanted to poop on the potty or in a diaper she got very agitated and ran away. She never did poop. I really don't want a toddler who holds her poop, but other than putting her in a diaper against her will, I am not sure what to do. I could just keep her in diapers all of time, but she really seems to enjoy both the naked time and using her potty. We've tried underpants on a couple of occasions, but she just forgot about the potty and peed in them.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but I am anxious to see what others have experienced with regards to this phenomenon.

Whew. It must be late if I am referring to pooping as a "phenomenon." :LOL
post #10 of 12
Well I almost fell over at her response, she said ok and RAN to the potty and wouldn't you know she went!

Wooo hooo!! Great!

You know, it's okay to use bribery for awhile if that's what it takes. My dd got constipated from holding it so my choice was bribery or constipation. So what, we are finding a way to use up the trick or treat candy. She gets her teeth brushed afterwards. AND I don't have to change any poopy diapers. What a deal.

post #11 of 12
Amy, your post gives me hope! My 4 1/2 year old DS also refuses to poop in the potty and insists he will do it when he turns 5. I just hope that it's on his birthday like your son!
post #12 of 12
We went through this stage too when Emily was 3.25. She only wanted to poop in her pull up.

My hubby had a great idea! First we asked her if she was willing to poop in her pull up, but IN the bathroom not her room. She did that easily for a few days. She did this alone, privately, in the bathroom without me watching.

Next we had her sit on the potty IN her pull up and poop in it while sitting there. Brilliant. She liked that too.

Next we put her in the pull up but we cut the bottom of it between her legs. so now it's a skirt, not a pair of shorts if you're following me. So she sat on the potty and pooped "in her pullup" but the poop went right through the hole and into the potty. Voila, she "pooped in the potty"

Next we took off the pull up and had her poop directly into the potty and she was done. All trained. Took a couple of weeks.

We DID use jelly beans and stickers as a bribe but only for the first week or two. Once she got used to pooping in the potty, she did it without the bribes.

Privacy seems to be an important factor. She liked to sit and poop and then call us for help wiping.

Good luck to you!!
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