Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Archives › Pregnancy Archives › July 2009 › Who is sure that people will be rude to them when they share the news?
New Posts  All Forums:
 

Who is sure that people will be rude to them when they share the news? - Page 2

post #21 of 51
11/10/08 at 12:18am

What's the point?

Really... What is the point of being rude? What's the point of dissaproving? Do they think that we are gonna stop in our tracks and say,

"Gosh you're right! We are out of our minds, we just won't have this baby after all. Thanks for "saving" us from our stupidity!"

Not bloody likey!

We have been worried about telling my husband's Dad and his wife, the last time I told her I was pregnant she used the words "birth defects and abberations" in the first sentence out of her mouth! Can you believe it!

You may also like:

There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
Teaching Science at Home: A Guide for Parents
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby
post #22 of 51
11/10/08 at 12:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchymomofmany View Post
yay for sevens! Let me know what you find out about successful sevens! And mega-congrats...remember, while seven might seem like a lot - the duggars will always have more!:d
:d
post #23 of 51
11/10/08 at 12:56am
I'm scared. I don't believe our families will be rude, but I am worried about their reactions. They all knew we were planning to wait a few more years, but we are still excited and I want them to be excited too. I'm almost scared to tell them.
post #24 of 51
11/10/08 at 12:59am
I'm sure I'll get some rude comments. I'm a gestational surrogate, and so far it's either "wow, you are so wonderful for doing that" or a *try not to show my distaste and back away slowly* look. And that was before I was pregnant. To be honest, though, I'm kinda looking forward to the "Oh, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" "Well, actually, it's not mine." conversations. Am I evil?

If anyone gives me flack about the parents, though, I'll rip them a new one. I'm still fuming over prop 8 passing.
post #25 of 51
11/10/08 at 1:52am
I bit the bullet and told my mom and aunt and uncle today, they all were quite amazed and positive about it. I'm so relieved! I finally told my bf today, too - she was a bit...shocked...I guess. I got the reaction I expected to get. Not exactly the reaction I'd hoped for. More of a "Wow, really? I don't know what to say. I guess it's okay since you're a SAHM..." Something like that. Nothing negative, but...yah. Not what I was hoping for. But I was mostly concerned about my mom, and she's happy.

Yay! :
post #26 of 51
11/10/08 at 12:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viriditas View Post
I'm sure I'll get some rude comments. I'm a gestational surrogate, and so far it's either "wow, you are so wonderful for doing that" or a *try not to show my distaste and back away slowly* look. And that was before I was pregnant. To be honest, though, I'm kinda looking forward to the "Oh, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" "Well, actually, it's not mine." conversations. Am I evil?

If anyone gives me flack about the parents, though, I'll rip them a new one. I'm still fuming over prop 8 passing.
Evil, no way! subversive pehaps, but I think you deserve any of the little pleasures you can get out of this.
post #27 of 51
11/11/08 at 12:48pm
This is the first grandchild on both sides so I know that everyone will be thrilled. I'm waiting until the ultrasound to tell the ILs though. I'm just so scared it won't stick, and I hate to get everyone's hopes up just to let them all down again.
post #28 of 51
11/12/08 at 3:11am
We wont be saying anything until I hit around 9 weeks due to previous miscarriages. I know when we say something though, we are bound to get some rude comments because I just had a baby on August 24th of this year. We werent trying... actually I was on birth control, but like our first, it failed. Nevertheless, we are happy.

Several of our family members know already, but there are some people I dread to tell. My best friend asked me a bit ago if I was pregnant again and at the time I wasnt sure... she basically told me she hoped I wasnt... which I thought was rude. I know when I tell her I am pregnant, she will act happy but wont be or just be flat out rude about it.
post #29 of 51
11/12/08 at 5:01am
i'm nervous too! we have 4 already and it's not really the amount of children that my family will be upset with, it's our financial situation. eek!
post #30 of 51
11/12/08 at 9:32am
Dh told his mom, my mil, a couple of days ago. As I predicted ealier in this thread, it did not go well. She wasn't very happy and actually asked him not to tell anyone else in the family. How depressing.
post #31 of 51
11/12/08 at 11:17am
Wow! I thought I was the only one with very opinionated family members! We have told DH's mom and stepdad and some friends, but I'm going to wait to tell my family until I can't hide it any more. My mom is the worst. I think I will preface our conversation with, "If you have anything negative to say, don't say a word. Just smile and let it drop." I had so much negative feedback from her with #5 and I refuse to feel like that again. This will be the last (and I mean it this time!) and I want this to be a very calm, serene pregnancy with no negativity whatsoever . . if I can help it!
post #32 of 51
11/12/08 at 2:12pm
violet, how sad! that would make me feel terrible. hopefully you don't have to see them very often.

Kelly, my oldest is 13 too! that must be really hard coming from your own home. hope you can hide it a long time.

i wsa thinking about this this morning again. we never see dh's family so i don't care what they know. my parents won't even be unhappy but i will just feel so embarrassed. they know that we're struggling with our mortgage and trying to restructure our loan to afford it better. also the fact that i DID tell them last month on the spur of the moment that i was pregnant and then the very next day had a m/c. i can't help but wish i never told them last month so that i could tell them now and not have them think, 'well, if it was an accident, what the heck did you do it again for?'
post #33 of 51
11/12/08 at 2:23pm
Well, I got some rudeness where I least expected it...

I'm on another website where I blog. I'm an open book on there because hey, that's what blogging is for and most of these people I have known online for several years. They know what I went through with my first DD, the miscarriages I had, and with my second DD... they all know that condoms have failed as well as birth control pills. Only a few of them actually know I got a little darker BFP, the rest are still waiting for an annoucement so to say...

Well, I get on today and got a comment basically saying that since I only had one period post partum and I'm supposily irregular (who's to say?), that there is no way I can be pregnant again. ...It just irritated me to no end! I know my body, I've seen the tests...even got other people's opinions on it to make sure I wasnt kidding myself!! I knew the mini pill would fail and I was pretty sure I knew when I O'd, but we took a risk. ...And because of comments like that, I wont annouce anything on my blog until I get a darker BFP... even though I have pictures of my last BFP.

I just hate unwanted opinions on MY body.
post #34 of 51
11/12/08 at 10:23pm
I cant believe some of the people we all have to deal with. Who are they to be so opinionated, particularly when they have never been in the situation!

I am in academia and most friends/colleagues think that kids detract from career (so f'n what?) and fun and vacations and going out. DH and I had the conversation right after I broke the news last night and realized some of our friends may not want to hang out anymore. Some of them are "fixed" now and claim they hate kids.

Well if their friendship is that shallow, its not worth my time!

I also have a SIL that may be upset because she is getting married over holidays which is when we will break the new to the extended family.

Once again
post #35 of 51
12/26/08 at 3:21pm
[QUOTE=Quindin;

I told DH that I am afraid some day I will get so fed up with strangers coming up to me and asking WHY I have so many kids, that I may just answer: "It is because my husband and I like to **** " [/QUOTE]

Let me know their response when you say this. I am sure Mrs. Duggar tells others this all the time when they make comments about her crew.
post #36 of 51
12/26/08 at 5:02pm
I am bracing myself for some negative/rude comments (have only told very few ppl so far). This is baby #3 for us, maybe not a big deal compared to some of the mamas here who have many more kids. However, among our friends, most stop at two. The only ppl who know IRL (who are our age) who have more than 2 kids are families who extremely religious. So, needless to say, we are kind of the oddballs. I think that *most* of the ppl that we know will be happy and supportive. However, I think that we will get rude comments from ppl that are strangers or those that we don't really know well. We have not told mil/fil yet, I have no clue what their rxn will be, esp mil, who is just someone I have issues with to begin with.
post #37 of 51
12/26/08 at 5:14pm
I've heard it and will hear it until my kids are grown, I'm sure. I'm pregnant with #5. My oldest will turn 6 on April 12. Sooo, yes, I will have a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, 3 yr old, 1 yr old, and a newborn. I'm 22. I will turn 23 a few weeks after this baby is born. My husband doesn't make great money. We live with my mom. So of course we are going to get the comments and looks. This baby was an oops. We were using condoms because we were done - but weren't sure if in 5 yrs we would want another - because well, we are really young. So now we are sure that we are done and hubby will get snipped sometime during this pregnancy. At first I was shocked, then happy, and now scared and having a bit of a hard time dealing with the idea of 5 kids under 6.
post #38 of 51
12/26/08 at 5:42pm
Thread Starter 
The good news is that NONE of my inlaws said anything mean or rude! I was very happily surprised!

Anyway, since we announced it we have heard:

"Are you happy about it?" usually accompanied by a pittying look, and usually right in front of my other kids!!
That one is so rude, but we have heard many times! What are people thinking we will answer? "Actually, we are devastated!" If it were true (and obviously, it is not) such a struggle is not something people share with acquaintances anyway - and not in front of the other kids! ?
Our answer is of course: "We are thrilled!"

"Was it planned"
Gosh, I HATE that one! Another super rude and invasive comment - and I get that from strangers.

"When are you going to stop" or "Are you done?"
I have been answering "Who knows" followed by a smile, and that's enough to make them stop asking.

And no, I have not had the opportunity (or balls) to give that cheeky answer I mentioned earlier
post #39 of 51
12/27/08 at 1:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quindin View Post
The good news is that NONE of my inlaws said anything mean or rude! I was very happily surprised!

Anyway, since we announced it we have heard:

"Are you happy about it?" usually accompanied by a pittying look, and usually right in front of my other kids!!
That one is so rude, but we have heard many times! What are people thinking we will answer? "Actually, we are devastated!" If it were true (and obviously, it is not) such a struggle is not something people share with acquaintances anyway - and not in front of the other kids! ?
Our answer is of course: "We are thrilled!"

"Was it planned"
Gosh, I HATE that one! Another super rude and invasive comment - and I get that from strangers.

"When are you going to stop" or "Are you done?"
I have been answering "Who knows" followed by a smile, and that's enough to make them stop asking.

And no, I have not had the opportunity (or balls) to give that cheeky answer I mentioned earlier
I am confused. You told your BF today? Does BF mean boyfriend. So you told your boyfriend about the baby before you told this board?
post #40 of 51
12/27/08 at 8:24am
Thread Starter 
You quoted the wrong post - I don't have a boyfriend nor did I write BF
New Posts  All Forums:
 
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: July 2009

You may also like:

There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
Teaching Science at Home: A Guide for Parents
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby
Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Archives › Pregnancy Archives › July 2009 › Who is sure that people will be rude to them when they share the news?