Disclipline the neighbors, or the child?

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I have a VERY small yard. It's practically not even a yard.

So, the neighbors are very close.

I have a daycar in my home. They are only here Mon-Friday, 7:00-4:30.

In the winter we leave the doors open all day unless it gets too hot. So, the kids are free to go in and out as they please. I have three doors that lead outside. (I have no idea why they put three doors on this side of the house.. but it works nice for us)

One of the kids is profoundly deaf. She is LOUD. SO very loud. All day long. Her noises range from what sounds like a constant cry, to an annoying grunt. it IS annoying. But, it's in OUR yard or house. And, it's only part of the day, and they nap for two hours.

The neighbors that are to my corner. (the corner of our walls touch) are complaining that they can't enjoy the yard because she's so loud.

I have no idea how I would make her be more quiet. But, personally, I don't think she's THAT bad. And, the neighbors could have it a lot worse. She could live here 24/7.

The other kids are very loud too. The big wheel bikes are loud, but they only want me to make this one child be quiet.

How would I do this? She's only 17 months old. She's completely deaf, and she's obstinate. Even if I could make my point to her, she'd do the opposite anyway.

Should I even bother? Is it a discipline problem? Or just a neighbor problem?

[CallMeMommy]

Do they realize she's deaf?

[GuildJenn]

Do they know she's deaf? Would her parents be ok with you sharing that info? They might deal with it better if they knew the cause.

From 9 - 4:30 (so not the first two hours) I wouldn't myself get in a knot about it... I know it's annoying and I love my peace, but really - kids outdoors is a good thing, and does create noise.

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Yes. When they came over, I explained that she is deaf, AND she isn't crying. She just likes to do that.

They can hear her even when she's inside since our doors are open.

Believe me, if I could make the noise stop, I would. Her parents leave her here the entire time I'm open just to get a break from the noise. So, we all acknowledge how annoying it is.

I just don't know what to do about it. The doctor said it would stop around six months old. But, it didn't. Then they said it would stop when she got cochlear implants. But, it didn't.

She's going to college with this sound. I just know it.

BTW, these neighbors aren't even home the whole day during the week. And, they aren't my favorite neighbors.

[goodygumdrops]

*** I don't mean to sound snarky, I just am rushing and I just wanted to get this post done before I get offline**

You know, I don't really think this is a disciplining issue. I kind of think this is no win situation. I really believe that your neighbors are entitled to be able to enjoy their outdoor space without being disrupted. I also believe that the little girl deserves to be in a childcare situation where she is totally accepted and nurtured. I think that having a home daycare is a very tricky situation if you live in a house or a duplex-type arranement...I know because I have been watching kids in my house for about two years now.

I really don't think it's your neighbors responsibility to be accommodating of your business. This is one of the first things they discuss with you(in my state) when you sign up to become a licensed home childcare.

So, if I was in your situation, I would ask the parents what kinds of methods their using for teaching their daughter about noise...if they aren't capable of giving some reasonable ideas then I would just explain the situation and ask them to find another provider..it's really nobody's fault.

[j924]

First off let me just say I think your neighbors are being extremely unkind. With that being said however when you have a daycare in your house you have to be mindful of the neighbors. Would it work to find out the times that they are home and structure your day so that you could be inside during those times. Maybe for short bursts throughout the day would be better than an all day constant. What about a bubble station outside? If she is blowing bubbles can she still make the noise?

[philomom]

I personally would have issues with the noise emanating from your yard much of time. I would feel like I couldn't enjoy my yard. Also, you are "profiting" on your disruption because it makes you money. It makes no money for me (the neighbor) and infringes on my rights to peace, quiet and privacy. You are lucky I haven't called the cops on you repeatedly. And is your home even allowed to have a home business in a residential area?

Maybe you should offer the deaf child a binky. Maybe you could take all the children to a park down the street or find another place for your business.

[choli]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

Yes. When they came over, I explained that she is deaf, AND she isn't crying. She just likes to do that.

They can hear her even when she's inside since our doors are open.

Believe me, if I could make the noise stop, I would. Her parents leave her hear the entire time I'm open just to get a break from the noise. So, we all acknowledge how annoying it is.

I just don't know what to do about it. The doctor said it would stop around six months old. But, it didn't. Then they said it would stop when she got cochlear implants. But, it didn't.

She's going to college with this sound. I just know it.

BTW, these neighbors aren't even home the whole day during the week. And, they aren't my favorite neighbors.

OK, if the noise is that bad this girls PARENTS can't put up with it, I don't think the neighbors should be expected to just suck it up.

Talk to the neighbors, non-defensively. Find out the hours during the week that the neighbors are at home. Tell them that you are actively trying to come up with solutions to keep things quiet during those times. Solutions could include the most obvious one of keeping the child inside and closing the doors (or at least two of them), a pacifier as a PP suggested, perhaps soundproofing one room, etc.

[chaoticzenmom]

That's tricky. What if she were your child or your foster child? Would that make a difference? I don't see that the fact that you're only her CCP makes a difference. The yards are close, so there's not much you can do. You can't go hush all your neighbors because you don't like noise. It's not as if it's a dog barking. What are the police going to do? I doubt there's much they could do. If you're legally allowed to watch the children, then I'd just keep going as usual.

If there's a situation, such as a neighbor who works nights and really needs some quiet time during the day, then I'd be more likely to ask the parents to find another provider. If it's just neighbors who don't like noise, then they shouldn't have such close neighbors.

I like the bubble idea. I hope you can find some stuff that works. It would bug me to have a screaming child next door all day, but I would understand that I can't do much about it.
Lisa

[fek&fuzz]

You can close your doors, and limit her time outside in the yard, and perhaps take the children to a park where there are not any residential houses too close by.

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I will discuss it with them again.

I think, it really boils down to the fact that I don't like them much.

Their dogs fight a LOT. The big dog beats up on the little dog. The dogs aren't yappers though, so they aren't a constant annoyance.

But, they purposely poured a large amount of pool acid over the fence to kill a tree because it was blowing leaves into their new pool. So, I actually kinda hate them. We cut the tree down, but they could have come over and asked us to cut it down first. They didn't have to poison it. I have three dogs, and a turtle that are out there a lot. It could have hurt the animals.

This child is loud. I would also be annoyed if I wanted to sit outside and read the paper or eat lunch if I had to hear her yelling. She does sound like she's crying all day, which makes it worse. So, it sounds like I have a miserable baby that I don't pay any attention to.

Today, it's too hot to keep the doors open, so hopefully they aren't being bothered right now.

I make lunch at 11:00, then they nap until 2:00-ish. By that time, she (the mom who lives there) is gone to pick up her kids. She doesn't get home til 4:00-ish, when my kids all leave.

So, perhaps, if I just keep the doors closed for at least part of the morning, it can't seem THAT bad. I don't let them play outside until at least 8:00 a.m, and I know she's up and driving her kids to school.

As far as making her be more quiet. She will start deaf pre-school in July. Maybe they can either teach her to turn the volume down, or teach her parents how to help her.

[tessie]

I don't think this is so much a neighbour problem as a why isn't anyone getting this kid the speech and language therapy she needs to learn to communicate problem? (Although the constant noise would piss me off and I think they're netitled to have this addressed.)

If she's with you all day every day when is she getting the support she needs? I'm sure you're doing your absolute best but with a bunch of other kids to care for (and presumably you're not qualified in providing therapy to kids after a cochlear implant?) she's not gettng what she needs. Not your fault, but something the parents need to address asap. Going to deaf pre-school in eight months' time is not an adequate solution.

Does she have any language skills at all, whether that be speech or some form of signing? If not I imagine she is one very frustrated little girl.

[delicious]

she is only 17 months old, and the OP said she is starting preschool in july. so i don't think it's a big deal that she needs more support.

anyways, OP, i think you are doing fine. i think the neighbors are being jerky. this is the kind of thing that happens when you live in a neighborhood with other people. you just have to deal with it. i mean, what if she was your daughter? then they would have to deal all day. and it sounds like you are being helpful about it, which is probably more than i would do.

[tessie]

Originally Posted by delicious

she is only 17 months old, and the OP said she is starting preschool in july. so i don't think it's a big deal that she needs more support.

I respectfully disagree. The research all states that early intervention is best for children who are deaf or have hearing loss if they are to keep up with their peers academically and with language and social skills. Under two is a critical time for language development. In particular, when a child has had a cochlear implant you can't just leave them to get on with it, they need a heck of a lot of support in the early days to learn to make sense of the changed world around them.

[bscal]

Originally Posted by tessie

I respectfully disagree. The research all states that early intervention is best for children who are deaf or have hearing loss if they are to keep up with their peers academically and with language and social skills. Under two is a critical time for language development. In particular, when a child has had a cochlear implant you can't just leave them to get on with it, they need a heck of a lot of support in the early days to learn to make sense of the changed world around them.

:

I taught preschool for 10 years before having my first child and becoming a SAHM. I had one child in my class who was deaf. He was 20 mos old when the school year started and had recently gotten hearing aids (insurance took their time approving them). I discussed his communication skills with his mother on a weekly basis and asked her if I could discuss it with his speech therapist as well. His wonderful ST came into my classroom and met with me 2 or 3 times to bring me sheets of ASL and talk to me about how better to communicate with him and how to assist him in communicating as well. She was so nice and very helpful.

So, I would discuss this with the parents. This is a long time that they have had to deal with this level of noise and I would think they would be very proactive in working with a ST about doing more signs and getting this child communicating. I know I would go crazy with noise that continues all day.

Beth

[ABmom]

Originally Posted by tessie

I respectfully disagree. The research all states that early intervention is best for children who are deaf or have hearing loss if they are to keep up with their peers academically and with language and social skills. Under two is a critical time for language development. In particular, when a child has had a cochlear implant you can't just leave them to get on with it, they need a heck of a lot of support in the early days to learn to make sense of the changed world around them.

Yes! I have a niece that is deaf and EARLY intervention is key. Even if it is just once a week. I would suggest to the mom that the little girl see a speech therapist.

As to the noise level, I think that you are very accommodating. As a neighbour I would be annoyed but if I know that you are doing something about it then there's not much I can do. Kids are kids and they will be noisy when playing outside. BTW don't we tend to tell them that they can use their outside voice (shout & yell) when they are outside?

Hope things improve.

[Hokulele]

OP - I don't really have much advice to offer you, it is a tough situation. But I just wanted to say - wow - you are a GREAT childcare provider! You must have incredible patience, and I hope that child's parents know how lucky they are to have a caring person like you watching their daughter.

I hope you find a good solution to the situation soon.

(I can't believe they poured poison in your yard! I can't even comment on that, I'm so horrified! )

[delicious]

i stand corrected then! so sorry.

[junipermuse]

Originally Posted by philomom

I personally would have issues with the noise emanating from your yard much of time. I would feel like I couldn't enjoy my yard. Also, you are "profiting" on your disruption because it makes you money. It makes no money for me (the neighbor) and infringes on my rights to peace, quiet and privacy. You are lucky I haven't called the cops on you repeatedly. And is your home even allowed to have a home business in a residential area?

Maybe you should offer the deaf child a binky. Maybe you could take all the children to a park down the street or find another place for your business.

home childcare is by its very definition approved for residential areas. It's a daycare run out of someone's home and it has to be run out of a full time residence to even get licensed. Home daycare is a very important part of the overall childcare system. Running a daycare center not based in someone's home can be extremely difficult and expensive. If it's not funded with public money than the parents must pay high tuition to make it a profitable business. Suggesting the neighbors call the police, implying that the OP is somehow violating laws, and just demanding the OP to move her business is neither helpful or supportive and I found this whole post a tad on the rude side. While I agree that having a squawking child around for large amounts of time would be extremely annoying I don't see how this in anyway infringes on the neighbors rights of privacy. As to the right t peace and quiet, I'm afraid those are fairly minimal. There is probably an ordiance that sets a maximum in decibels for daytime noise (which the child probably isn't exceeding no matter how annoying the sound is) and also sets the time for quieter hours probably 9pm-7am or something like that and the child isn't at the OP's house during those hours anyway. So legally I don't think she has any responsibilities to these neighbors. That doesn't mean though that it isn't worth trying to find a compromise with them to preserve your relationship with them. I would definitely try to keep the doors closed when inside and go outside when I know the neighbors aren't home.

[hippymomma69]

So, um, how exactly would you discipline the neighbors? LOL Can you do that? Clearly it's not the child....

good luck
peace,
robyn