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Teacher's policy about using the bathrroom during class (UPDATE)  

post #1 of 63
10/31/08 at 2:13am
Thread Starter 
Hi, I have a question about using the bathroom during class time. What is the policy of your child's teacher/school in regards to this. I ask because my little sister (who is 9 yrs. old) made a comment this morning that made me kind of sad. I help out my mom a few days a week by driving my sis to school in the morning. This morning while my sis, myself, and 4 yr old dd were having breakfast my sis says, dd is "so lucky because she can use the bathroom whenever she wants, I can't use the bathroom at school." I ask her why not and she said, "well, actually we can but we have to stay after school for 10 minutes, and I don't want to stay." She also told me that after she pees, she feels like she still has to go, but can't. She also said her stomach starts hurting. I think that she might be giving herself a bladder infection by holding it in because she doesn't want to stay after school.
Now, I understand that teachers need to have policies like this so kids won't say they have to go to bathroom and just go in there to mess around but I also think that using the bathroom is a basic right. I feel that policies like this violate children's personal dignity and might lead to health problems or accidents especially for children that might be shy about letting a teacher know that they need to use the bathroom. What do you all think? I don't know why but this is really bugging me today. I let my mom know about it and she got annoyed with my sister and told her that if she needs to use the bathroom to just suck it up and "stay the 10 minutes" , so she wouldn't get a bladder infection. This made me feel even worse because I didn't mean to get my sis in trouble, I was just concerned for her health.
post #2 of 63
10/31/08 at 2:24am
I have a small bladder and am prone to UTI's and my Mom had to fight SO many teachers. Not letting children go to the bathroom is absurd!
post #3 of 63
10/31/08 at 2:39am
I tell my dd that same thing my dad told me "If you need to use the bathroom and the teacher wont let you go, walk out of the room and go anyway and when they call me I will go talk to them. But you better really have had to go". There is NO excuse for not allowing a child to use the bathroom.

My dad shared a story with us as kids that still makes me smile. When he was in grade school he asked to go to the bathroom, back then was outdoor toilets around here, and the teacher said no, he asked again she still said no. So my dad being my dad got up walked to the back of the room and peed in the corner : The teacher of course told his dad what had happened he laughed in her face and said I hope you learned a lesson.

After that my dad never had to ask to use the bathroom again she would ask him at least once during class if he needed to go

I better not ever find out my child was denied bathroom access. I will be on them like stink on S**t.

Punishment for using the bathroom will not be tolerated by me either.
post #4 of 63
10/31/08 at 2:48am
I'd have your mom double check with the teacher. I highly doubt they're not allowed to pee for 6-7 hours.

Some kids don't want to ask their teachers if they can use the bathroom either because it's embarrasing for them to ask in front of the class, the teacher has said they need to use the bathroom during recess so they think they can't ask during class or are too busy playing to go during recess, or some other reason.

Most schools have a policy where you need to use the bathroom during recesses/breaks & alot of them will break that policy if the child really has to go(or has a dr's note).

If the teacher is one who will never ever let a child use the bathroom during class time & there are no recesses/breaks then get a dr's note.
post #5 of 63
10/31/08 at 2:58am
This is one of the first things I asked. I was born with kidney bladder defects on top of that I'm diabetic so if I need a bathroom I NEED one and I clearly remember getting UTI so bad I ended up hospolized on quite a few occasions from eaither being flat out told no or havign to jump through such stupid hoops being aloud to go.
FOr DD school she is in Kindergarden the policy this year. Kids are "taken" before school (about 7:50am) comming back from lunch (11:30) and after recess and or snacks (1:30pm) Kids also just need to ask and are allowed during class. THere is no punishment for asking or needing to go multiple times. IF it turns out its so the child can play then thats delt with but that doesn't affect the bathroom policy.
Older grades don't really do the ties when the whole class gets asked who needs to go but are allowed when asked. A studen may be asked to wait a bit (say when the liabary book is over ect but one can't just be denied.) so far the policy seems to be followed.

Deanna
post #6 of 63
10/31/08 at 3:00am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
highly doubt they're not allowed to pee for 6-7 hours.
Well, she didn't say that they aren't allowed to use the bathroom at all, just not during class time.

Quote:
I tell my dd that same thing my dad told me "If you need to use the bathroom and the teacher wont let you go, walk out of the room and go anyway and when they call me I will go talk to them. But you better really have had to go". There is NO excuse for not allowing a child to use the bathroom.
If she was my dd, I would tell her to do the same, but I doubt my mom would. My mom is not the type of person who likes confrontation, and her english is not that great. I don't think she would feel comfortable talking to the teacher.
BTW, that's a very funny story about your dad
post #7 of 63
10/31/08 at 3:10am
This policy just isn't acceptable. Your mom needs to talk with the teacher and then take it up with the principal if necessary. Staying 10 minutes after school is a punishment, and it is abusive to punish kids for doing something that they need to do. This is the sort of thing that makes the news! Could you offer to go in with your mother? Is there any chance you would take this on yourself? Even an email from you to the principal just expressing concern could help. (I recognize that this isn't the best way to handle it, but I really think that this needs to be addressed!)
post #8 of 63
10/31/08 at 11:13am
My dd is in 3rd grade, and they are always allowed to use the bathroom. This year is the first year she didn't have a bathroom in her classroom. When I went over to help out on picture day, as long as the kids had a pass, they were allowed to go.
I would also talk to your mom and have her talk to the teacher/principal. I have never been to a school where the bathroom policy was so rigid as to when you could go, especially in elementary school.
post #9 of 63
10/31/08 at 12:39pm
Quote:
I have never been to a school where the bathroom policy was so rigid as to when you could go, especially in elementary school.
Hopefully it has changed but the rules were stupid ridged when I was in school. We were taken once after recess and if you were quick on days we did PE. We had a set number of allowed bathroom passes each semester to use other than that. I once had to serve a week of lunch detention because I had to use the bathroom during our lunch break. (in 2nd grade)

Deanna
post #10 of 63
10/31/08 at 12:40pm
DS has bathroom issues, so we've had a lot of conversations with the teachers about this particular issue. The basic school policy is that students are expected to be responsible for their needs and respectful of the classtime and use the restrooms during recess and breaks, but that leaving the classroom for the restroom during class is permitted when necessary. (The school operates of 12 core values, responsibility and respect being high on the list -- hence the language.) They have enough breaks that I think most children, if they actually use recess to go to the restroom, don't have to leave the classroom. In K and 1 kids are allowed to leave to go to the restroom with no questions asked -- but they have to tell the teacher they are leaving. In 2 and 3 the teachers will start asking if its an emergency and will urge kids to wait 5 minutes until recess or whatever. By upper school (4-6) they lose team points if they have to leave the classroom for the restroom, so there is some peer pressure to hold it. But since there are breaks every couple of hours, this hardly seems unreasonable. Because of some bathroom related issues, we've definitely coached DS to use the restroom at every break. It seems like perhaps your sister should be encouraged to do the same thing. Its not that they can't pee for 6 hours, its that they don't choose to do so during breaks and they aren't proactive about needing the use the restroom. That's a habit that can and should be taught/encouraged. Of course, beyond that, kids should always be allowed to use the restroom when needed.
post #11 of 63
10/31/08 at 9:17pm
At my kids' school, they just need to let the teacher know they are going so he/she knows where they are. There's a bathroom in my K daughter's class and one just down the hall from my 3rd grader's room.

Definately clarify the policy. It is, imho, abuse to withhold access to a bathroom. That's a form of torture, for goodness sake!
post #12 of 63
11/1/08 at 1:10am
We have a bathroom in our classroom. If students need to go, they walk in the bathroom.

If I did not have a bathroom in the class, I would have something hanging by the door. If they need to use the restroom, they take that object with them so I know someone has left the room.

By the way, I loved the story about peeing in the corner.

Matt
post #13 of 63
11/1/08 at 3:22am
Thread Starter 
UPDATE: Well, I talked to my sister again today and she told me that the teacher who would not let her go to the bathroom during class is not her normal teacher. Apparently, her class had a sub for a few days and that was her way of keeping kids from asking to go to the bathroom. Her regular teacher lets them go to the bathroom whenever they need to.This makes me feel better. I was getting ready to go down and talk to the teacher. I'm kind of annoyed that a sub would do that though.
post #14 of 63
11/1/08 at 1:50pm
I wouldn't be annoyed that a sub would do that. A sub doesn't have the time that a regular teacher has to get control of a class. even in the early grades kids know they can push the liimts with a sub. If the sub had to implement that then there were alot of kids asking to use the bathroom to get out of doing work.
post #15 of 63
11/1/08 at 9:55pm
Did your sister go on breaks? Though from stories I've heard here a grammar school day is more tightly scheduled than my military basic training.
post #16 of 63
11/1/08 at 11:02pm
My daughter is 14, but this was one of the many reasons I took her out of school to homeschool. She would have to tell the entire class why she needed to go before many of her teachers would let her. There were a couple of incidents when she started her period that she was humiliated in front of the whole class for not planning ahead for.
post #17 of 63
11/1/08 at 11:24pm
When I was a teacher, I did the time after school in exchange for a pass. This never applied to those with doctor's notes (recent abortion, UTI, etc.) or health histories, but it did apply across the board with everyone else. First of all, our school was tiny, with no more than a 1 minute walk from one end of the building to the other. Our kids could carry backpacks, and most of them did so they didn't use lockers for anything other than coats, so they didn't need time between bells for that. We also had both a lunch period with unrestricted bathroom access and a homeroom with the same spread out over the day. Since kids mostly congregated in the halls between classes to talk (usually right outside my door), I didn't see the problem with making them stay in class during the period. I never had a problem with parents or kids or any accidents. Frankly, the only walkout I ever had was a kid who was dealing drugs from the restroom, and his mother called to complain about my policy a few minutes after I'd called the office to let the officer know he'd just walked out. They were hauling him in with a bag of pot as she was screaming into the phone about his bladder problem. I also had a kid walk out, but he left saying he had to pee and ended up going directly across the hall to the pizza party and asking for a slice, so I figured it wasn't the emergency he made it out to be. I'm not saying this is all kids, but my experience and my school just worked with the policy.

As for the sub thing, that might be a building policy. My school had the policy of no passes for subs and kids had to have their ID cards on them for security reasons. Anyone causing problems with subs was immediately referred to the office, no questions asked. It sounds harsh, but some of our kids pulled some crap with subs that they never would have tried with teachers. When I went on a short leave during my last pregnancy, I routinely had other teachers come in and take roll at the beginning and end of class.
post #18 of 63
11/1/08 at 11:42pm
I subbed at a couple of schools where I wasn't allowed to give bathroom passes, but not elementary schools. It's different in middle schools and high schools when there is time between bells. In elementary schools I was sometimes not allowed to give passes at certain times but not all day.
post #19 of 63
11/2/08 at 12:01am
I realize that this is not the place to exchange ideas on teaching methods. Sorry if I offended anyone.
post #20 of 63
11/3/08 at 8:32pm
Ever think that if you have to stop students from going to the bathroom constantly, there's a problem with the teaching?

Think about it...sitting on a toilet is more interesting than what you're providing the child. Bottom line: Become more interesting to the student than the toilet.

Just annoys me to see that children are rewarded for not taking care of their bodily needs, or punished for having a normal body. Isn't an environment where our children spend all day supposed to be about meeting his or her needs? If you run a classroom where children cannot meet their needs, it is time to seriously consider what needs changing.
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Mothering › Forums › Education › Learning at School › Teacher's policy about using the bathrroom during class (UPDATE)