November 2008 Book Challenge

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

Ah ... Autumn. Now, if only it would arrive in my neck of the woods. I love Autumn for curling up on a chilly night with a good book. Hopefully crisp, dark Autumn nights will come soon and I can get some quality reading in.

But enough about me ... on to the book challenge:


Just by way of clarification (for comers both new and old), new and improved guidelines for the Book Challenge Thread are as follows:

1) Post the books you read ... or not
2) Post a recommendation ... or not
3) Number your book ... or not
4) Make a goal ... or not
5) Have fun with books (This one, unfortunately, is MANDATORY)


So, with that, avante and a happy reading October to everyone!



January's thread is HERE
February's thread is HERE
March's thread is HERE
April's thread is HERE
May's thread is HERE
June's thread is HERE
July's thread is HERE
August's thread is HERE
September's thread is HERE
October's thread is HERE

[cathe]

Happy November everybody. Here's my first book for the month . . .

"Marcelo in the Real World" by Francisco X. Stork

I really enjoyed this book a lot--it got better and better as it went along.

The novel is about a 17 year old who has an autism-like condition. This summer before his senior year, his father makes him come to work at his law firm to experience the "real world". He gets exposed to all kinds of things and has to make some really hard decisions. It was very well done.

[snozzberry]

#56 Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

The front cover of this book describes it as "A Provocative Challenge to the Conventional Wisdom about Discipline." Uh, YEAH.

This book had me squirming in my chair on a regular basis. Over and over, the author would present compelling research about how parenting with rewards and punishments doesn't necessarily get you a kid who's more compliant. And over and over, I would think to myself: "Well, if you don't use rewards and punishments, what the crap else are you going to do?" The author would dance around alternatives, but he kept referencing Chapter 7 as where he'd be presenting them in detail—which was over halfway through the book.

In the end, I'm not sure if I would have been ready to accept the ideas in that chapter had I not gone through the painful process of being challenged again and again and again in the first part of the book. Maybe the author has to break down a few walls before he can help you start to build up something completely different in their place.

Here are just a handful of the reasons why punishment doesn't work, according to the research covered in this book:

* Punishment makes people mad. I can recall with great clarity the times I was being punished for something that I had done, and I guarantee you I wasn't "reflecting" on my actions. I was getting even more pissed off at whomever was punishing me, and my actions were the furthest thing from my mind.
* Punishment models the use of power. Do we really want to teach our kids that might makes right? As adults, will it be healthy for them to exploit their power over their fellow humans?
* Punishment makes kids more self-centered. If I hit Susie, I'll have to sit in timeout and miss the rest of recess. Notice that I'm thinking about what will happen to me, not how Susie will feel.

What about rewards? If punishing non-compliance isn't effective, what about rewarding compliance?

"...rewards are remarkably ineffective at improving the quality of people's work or learning. A considerable number of studies have found that children and adults alike are less successful at many tasks when they're offered a reward for doing them—or for doing them well."

Or worse, rewards can undermine the very behavior you're trying to encourage:

"...when there's no longer a goody to be gained, [kids are] less likely to help than are kids who weren't given a reward in the first place. They're also less likely to help than they themselves used to be. After all, they've learned that the point of coming to someone's aid is just to get a reward."

These are just a few of the points from the book, but I know what you're thinking right now: "Well, if you don't use rewards and punishments, what the crap else are you going to do?"

Or maybe: "Haha, your kid is going to walk all over you! Sucker!"

To the latter, I say: You could very well be right. But this book resonated with me on a much deeper level than the parenting practices I saw growing up or continue to see on Supernanny. What do you think that kid on the naughty step is thinking about? About how what they did was wrong and they'll never do it again? Or about how Mom is so unfair...or...next time she's not going to catch me...or...I'm going to hit little brother for tattling on me?

Certainly you can remember a time when you were in timeout as a kid. Maybe you were a perfect kid and sat quietly reflecting on your misbehavior and how you will never, ever do that again. But me? Not so much. I sat there thinking of ways to blame someone else. I sat there steaming about the person who was punishing me. I sat there making plans to not talk to anyone for the rest of the day to show how mad I was.

So what if instead when you did something wrong, your parents sat down with you and asked you what happened? What if they had helped you explore why you did what you did? What if they encouraged you to think of other ways you could have expressed your emotions?

Kids are smart. They have good ideas for how to solve problems, including their own. You just need to give them a chance and support the process with your loving guidance.

Do I think that this style of parenting will mean my daughter won't ever misbehave or have a tantrum or annoy the crap out of me sometimes? No, not at all. She'll still do all those things, but what will be different is how I react to her.

Kids see rewards as approval and love, and they see punishments as a withdrawal of that approval and love. So on a basic level, will my actions teach my daughter that I love her only when she behaves in the exact way that I want her to? Do I really want to raise a daughter who is blindly compliant with whomever has more power than her? (Even if I did want a compliant daughter, research shows that rewards and punishment aren't effective in getting that.)

No. I want to teach her that I love her always, not just because she does what I want her to. I want a daughter who can make smart decisions for herself, not just do what the person with more power is telling her to do.

If any of this is resonating with you and if you're wondering what could possibly replace rewards and punishments, I would suggest that you read the book yourself. There's no easy formula for parenting without rewards and punishments, and this book will help you explore what that style of parenting will be for you and your family.

[snozzberry]

#57 How to Become a Famous Writer Before You're Dead: Your Words in Print and Your Name in Lights by Ariel Gore

The advice in this book is by no means earth-shattering. You'll recognize most of it from other writing guides. Example: Want to be a writer? Then write. (Sure sounds simple, but I have yet to develop a habit of writing every day.)

But unlike most other writing guides, this book will keep you laughing while it injects you with a good dose of writing wisdom. This book also has some great ideas for exercises—for example, go through a piece you wrote and remove all adjectives and adverbs, rewriting where necessary.

Gore includes several interviews with literary stars, some more interesting than others. One of my favorite interviews was with Ursula K. Le Guin: "Stories are like feral kittens. You have to be very patient and careful and quiet and put out little bits of chicken on the floor."

The chapters in this book are fairly short and the advice is so fun to read that I'm going to get a copy of this to own.

[friendtoall]

#49 Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (audio) – Maybe not as good as the first, but still a lot of fun.

#50 Little house in Brookfield – Read this to my 5 yo daughter. She loved it (is pioneer crazy). It is about Laura Ingalls Wilder’s ma when she was a young girl (she has her 6th birthday in the book). It was fun because a lot of the things that happened in the book, were happening to us at the same time eg. fall frost, visiting the general store, having 5 hens and getting three or four eggs a day, etc.

#51 The parents' concise guide to childhood vaccinations : practical medical and natural ways to protect your child – Informative but definitely biased against vaxing, but hey, so am I.

#52 Little house on a small planet : simple homes, cozy retreats, and energy efficient possibilities – Great content, terrible format.

#53 Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (audio) – Loads of fun with an ending that makes me rush to the next book.

[kangamitroo]

Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech
humorous, suspenseful story about 13yo girl. i really liked it. she goes on a road trip with her grandparents, retracing a trip her runaway mom took. (it was a suggested read aloud for 4th grade..but i'd say more for 6th. there is kissing and bits that make 10yos say "ewww!")

[Keeta]

Originally Posted by snozzberry

#56 Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

I know exactly what you mean about squirming in your seat reading this book. It is so tough to read through the first half without having any alternatives laid out! He makes so much sense though, that once you get through all the ideas it's hard t go back to the older, easier (in the short-run) parenting techniques of rewards and punishments.

Just wanted to throw out there that he also has a DVD of the ideas in the book - it's about 1.5 hours and it's really great. Even if you've read the book, it's a great refresher. My DH and I just watched it and it was just the kick in the pants we needed for dealing with our very independent 2-year-old. See if your library has it! It's the same title as the book.

[kaliki_kila]

Pavilion of Women by Pearl S. Buck

[cathe]

"Wife Goes On" by Leslie Lehr

This was sort of like Sex in the City but with divorced women. Fun story but a bit heavy on the man bashing.

[nancy926]

#56: Audition, by Barbara Walters

Fascinating, but about 100 pages too long. You do get to learn ALL about Baba Wawa, though. And lots of celebrity dish (as well as interesting and useful information about several presidents and other world leaders, for those of you who need more than gossip). Highly entertaining but took forever to read (600-something large-ish pages with small-ish type). Wonder what the paperback will look like.

PS. I love Alfie Kohn, though I do not always emulate him. I think he makes a lot of sense. Perhaps not 100%, but more than most other parenting-book authors.

[kaliki_kila]

The Giver by Lois Lowry

I LOVED this. Couldn't put it down. Probably everyone but me has already read it, though!

My favorite quote:

"If everything's the same, then there aren't any choices! I want to wake up in the morning and decide things! A blue tunic, or a red one?"

[ColoradoMama]

Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier

Well, I can give this book a glowing recommendation on one account - if you are a chronic insomniac, just read a few pages of this book, and you will be out! I cannot believe I wasted so many hours reading this book. The first 300 pages are poorly written. The last 150 get better, but the story does not. He does this incredibly annoying thing where he doesn't put quotes where people are speaking. I'm sure he had some very artistic reason for doing it, but it only made the text read in a monotone, and the story was already dull enough. I would love to say something nice about this book, but there is nothing nice to say about this book. My recommendation would be - DON'T BOTHER. The author tries to save the story with the epilogue, but he falls short.

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

#98 The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
by Barack Obama

My review of The Audacity of Hope can be found HERE.

Better late than never, right? Only two more books to go to meet my goal, and I've got at least that many in the pipeline, plus quite a few more for my classes :

#1 The Time Machine, #2 The Shining (Audio): Redux, #3 Curious George, #4 Animal Farm: A Fairy Story, #5 The Tragedy of Othello, Moor of Venice (Bantam Anthology), #6 A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four, #7 "A Study in Emerald", #8 The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, #9 Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, #10 Quidditch Through the Ages, #11 On the Day You Were Born, #12 The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark (Bantam Anthology), #13 The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare, #14 Rubyfruit Jungle, #15 John, Paul, George & Ben, #16 The Merchant of Venice (Bantam Anthology): Redux, #17 Dinotopia: A Land Apart from Time, #18 Trent's Last Case, #19 Cyrano de Bergerac: A Heroic Comedy in Five Acts, #20 Animal Dads, #21 Faggots, #22 A Day with Wilbur Robinson, #23 And Then There Were None, #24 Eating Between the Lines: The Supermarket Shopper's Guide to the Truth Behind Food Labels, #25 Henry IV, Part One, #26 Zami, A New Spelling of My Name: A Biomythography, #27 Twelfth Night, or What You Will (Bantam Anthology), #28 Murder Must Advertise, #29 Stagestruck: Theater, AIDS, and the Marketing of Gay America, #30 Angels in America, A Gay Fantasia on National Themes, Part One: Millennium Approaches, #31 The Tragedy of Macbeth (Bantam Anthology), #32 Stone of Destiny: The Story of Lady Macbeth, #33 Ian Pollack's Illustrated King Lear #34 Celtic Folklore Cooking, #35 Angels in America, A Gay Fantasia on National Themes, Part Two: Perestroika Revised Edition), #36 The Winter's Tale (Bantam Anthology), #37 Tolkien's Art: A Mythology for England, #38 The Body (Audio), #39 Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (Audio), #40 Four Past Midnight: The Sun Dog (Audio), #41 The Tempest (Bantam Anthology): Redux, #42 World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, #43 Science Verse, #44 Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich and Other Stories You’re Sure to Like Because They’re All About Monsters and Some of Them are Also About Food. You Like Food, Don’t You? Well, All Right Then, #45 Case Histories, #46 Time Bandit: Two Brothers, the Bering Sea, and One of the World's Deadliest Jobs, #47 Why Pandas Do Handstands and Other Curious Truths About Animals, #48 Rolling the R's, #49 Spooky ABC, #50 A is for Arches: A Utah Alphabet, #51 Raven: A Trickster Tale from the Pacific Northwest, #52 E is for Evergreen: A Washington Alphabet, #53 Beowulf (Longman Anthology), #54-60 The Harry Potter Series (Audio), #60 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Audio), #61 The Gingerbread Girl (Audio), #62 A Whale Hunt: Two Years on the Olympic Peninsula with the Makah and Their Canoe, #63 Heart-Shaped Box (Audio), #64 The Host, #65 Why War is Never a Good Idea, #66 Spicy Hot Colors: Colores Picantes, #67 To Everything There is a Season, #68 Charles Fort: The Man Who Invented the Supernatural, #69 Stick: Great Moments in Art, History, Film, and More..., #70 America: A Patriotic Primer, #71 A is for America: An American Alphabet, #72 Just How Stupid Are We?: The TRUTH About the American Voter, #73 Teaching Montessori in the Home: The Pre-School Years, #74 S is for Shamrock: An Ireland Alphabet, #75 The Brief History of the Dead, #76 The Ruins, #77 Marvel 1602, #78 The World That Made New Orleans: From Spanish Silver to Congo Square, #79 The Preservationist, #80 Duma Key, #81 Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence, #82 The Wood Are Dark: Restored and Uncut, #83 Wild About Books, #84 Tarzan of the Apes, #85 Breaking Dawn, #86 Backyard Giants: The Passionate, Heartbreaking, and Glorious Quest to Grow the Biggest Pumpkin Ever, #87 Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana, #88 Know Your Power: A Message to America's Daughters, #89 Banana: The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World, #90 Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, #91 Middle Passage: Redux, #92 Donald Duk, #93 The Historian (Audio), #94 The White Boy Shuffle: Redux, #95 Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers (Audio), #96 Secret Window, Secret Garden (Audio), #97 Persuasion, #98 The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream

[Jenifer76]

When She Was White: The True Story of a Family Divided by Race by Judith Stone

During the system of official racism in South Africa, Sandra Laing is born to two white parents and raised as a white female. However, Laing's darker skin and "frizzy" hair cast doubt about her ethnicity in a country where color of your skin means everything. She is kicked out of her conservative boarding school and reclassified as "coloured". Her parents take their battle to return her to "white" status up to the South African Supreme Court. Sandra becomes a media sensation around the world. As a teen, she elopes with a Black man and becomes estranged for her parents. She struggles her whole life with poverty, race and her place in the greater world. I found myself at times both sympathizing with and being angry at Sandra for the decisions she made -- especially later in life.

Autism's False Prophets: Bad Science, Risky Medicine, and the Search for a Cure by Paul A. Offit

As the parent of a child on the spectrum who does NOT believe vaccines are the cause, its nice to see a book that clearly lays out an argument against the widely held belief. While I am all for parents making educated choices about vaccinations, I think the current agenda to blame vaccines actually harms the Autism community by singularly focusing attention on one possible (and refuted) cause.

[nancy926]

I'm not speaking on the autism/vaccine connection, but you should know that Offit is wayyyy on the other side of the vaccine debate. He seems to think the more, the merrier. He has many enemies due to his complete dismissal of the idea that vaccines could possibly have any undue consequences that science doesn't already know about.

(He also holds a patent on a rotavirus vaccine and gets Merck funding.)

Not saying he doesn't have valid points, but he is not objective, either.

[Keeta]

53. Storm Born - Richelle Mead

Paranormal/Urban Fantasy - A new series from Richelle Mead (from here in Seattle, yay!). Eugenie is a shaman who banishes bad guys from our world back to the otherworld (and sometimes to the Underworld). When she meets a shapeshifter in a bar randomly, her life turns upside-down. A prophecy from the Otherworld announces that her child will bring revolution in their world - and ours.

A great read! Definitely a guilty pleasure. There's some romance (aka sex), although it's not rampant - but pretty hot when it makes an appearance. There is just enough humor to make me happy - it's not all gloom and doom. I like the world she's created, Eugenie is a sassy and strong heroine, and there is a lot of room to grow. I just wish I had found this series later, like when there were 3 or 4 already written! Recommended for fans of Kim Harrison, Charlaine Harris, Patricia Briggs or Carrie Vaughn - or really anyone into urban fantasy.

[cathe]

Originally Posted by nancy926

I'm not speaking on the autism/vaccine connection, but you should know that Offit is wayyyy on the other side of the vaccine debate. He seems to think the more, the merrier. He has many enemies due to his complete dismissal of the idea that vaccines could possibly have any undue consequences that science doesn't already know about.

(He also holds a patent on a rotavirus vaccine and gets Merck funding.)

Not saying he doesn't have valid points, but he is not objective, either.

That was such the hardest part of making the vaccination decision for me--all the info I read seemed so biased either one way or the other . . .

[Daffodil]

#19 - Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Elinor has good sense and doesn't let her emotions get out of control, unlike her sister Marianne, who feels everything very deeply and is ruled by her emotions. They both fall in love with men who are unclear about their intentions. Unhappiness ensues, but everything turns out all right in the end. I enjoyed it.

[Jenifer76]

Originally Posted by nancy926

I'm not speaking on the autism/vaccine connection, but you should know that Offit is wayyyy on the other side of the vaccine debate. He seems to think the more, the merrier. He has many enemies due to his complete dismissal of the idea that vaccines could possibly have any undue consequences that science doesn't already know about.

(He also holds a patent on a rotavirus vaccine and gets Merck funding.)

Not saying he doesn't have valid points, but he is not objective, either.

I am aware of his stance and his past. He says as much in his book. That's why I read it.

[becoming]

I'm working on "The Condition" by Jennifer Haigh, but it's slow going...not loving it so far.