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Stupid/Asinine/Unnecessary/Inappropriate Comments: Post away!

post #1 of 279
Thread Starter 
As we choose to tell people around us about our "news," people will open their mouths and who knows what will spill out of it.

I have not really been telling too many people at work. I figured most of them could just figure it out themselves in "due" time (harhar). I did tell a girl I carpool with--you know, just in case I have to puke or something--and she asked if it was a secret. I said I wasn't going to advertise it, but she could use discretion in sharing it. She told a mutual friend of ours. I ran into her in the copy room on Friday. She congratulated me, we made small talk, and then she said:

"Wow! I can't believe how much you are showing already!"
Um, for the record, I've lost three pounds since I found out! I am not even really *that* big to begin with!! Anyway, I know she meant the best, so I stuck out my belly and said, "I know, right?" and went hahahah all the way out the door.

I did also tell the maid of honor in my wedding (we got married 6 months ago). It's the sort of situation where we are sort of on the outs with the friendship, but not in a fighting way (just growing apart naturally). We have a very long history of her just being so negative to the point of me slowly trying to limit contact, because there's not much worth saving in the friendship, unfortunately. However, I do call her from time to time, and figured this was a decent piece of news to share, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. She has known before I was even engaged to my husband that he was absolutely the one I wanted to have children with and that we wanted to start a family right away. After I told her and she did the congratulations thing, she said, "Well, in my opinion, I really think you guys should have waited longer before you started having children." I said, very snarkily, "Waiting for what? For it to be more convenient on YOUR timetable?" Honestly, we've done everything we've wanted to do together--seen lots of concerts, traveled all around the country, etc. She did apologize later on, and I candidly told her that she should just keep those future opinions to herself! That's the last she really hears me say much about the baby!

I'd love to hear what dumb things people have said to you. I know that most of the time they're probably just trying to mean well or make small talk, but this has potential of getting more awesome by the day.
post #2 of 279
a few of the women we told in our families said "oh, so you have to wean dd now!" i was like "um, no, actually, i don't". "but dd will steal all of your nutrients and leave none for the new baby!". i explained that it didn't work that way, but it amazed me as to how many people thought that you couldn't nurse during pregnancy.
post #3 of 279
Well we just shared the news with my family today and it wasn't tooooo bad. Everyone was very excited and happy and there were happy tears, and then I was immediately asked "you aren't going to homebirth are you? I sure hope not!"

blllllllleh.

So I just said "yes we are and if you have any reservations at all you need to keep them to yourself. I don't need it. Period."
post #4 of 279
We've had a few people (including MIL, FIL, and SIL) ask if it was an accident. They did it in a fairly nice way, but still... I mean, we've been married for 2 years, dated for 3 before that. We hardly rushed into this!

I guess we were a little too good at keeping the fact that we were trying for 13 months to ourselves.

I am getting tons of advice from unlikely sources too, like, the guys on my husbands soccer team. Not much of it is actually helpful, but it's all well meaning so I just smile and thank them.
post #5 of 279
I've made it very clear to everyone in my life that I'm not interested in negativity. If they have something to say that I don't want to hear they can go tell it to a try. I'm not listening.

My mom said she's going to come down and stay with us for a few weeks in June "to help out". I need to figure a nice way to tell her NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Her idea of "helping out" and my idea of "helping out" are vastly different and I think I might cause her bodily harm if she's here during the homebirth I'm planning which I'm already nervous about.
post #6 of 279
I haven't told my mom or MIL/FIL yet, so I'll get back to you on this LOL!!!

I did tell my baby sis, and she was so excited for me! Yeah!! But my mom made many a rude comment when we were pregnant #2 (too soon,etc) and then after his birth (he was preemie) about not having anymore, she can't take it. Hmm whatever.

Luckily (I guess) we live off the continent, so it's not like they can really annoy me too much LOL.
post #7 of 279
I was told that I "looked pregnant" by a coworker (hello I'm not even showing and I wear scrubs to work so how do I look pregnant??? Well you know your face....you've got the pregnant acne!!!!! WTH?!?! I stopped wearing makeup to work but that's just pure laziness and because I feel like crap half the time but thank you for pointing out all my facial flaws. I think that's all I've really gotten. Not too much negativity.
post #8 of 279
We were very vocal about only wanting one child. Then DH would make and cancel vasectomy appointments...and here we are.

So we hear a lot of "was it planned?" and "were you trying?" . I think it's absolutely inappropriate but both mil and fil asked if we were trying. None. Of. Your. Freaking. Business. Icky. What am I supposed to say to that? "Nope, we just like having unprotected sex." "Your son kept canceling his snip-snip appointments." "We thought we would mess with you."

Also, MIL said that she was so glad we decided to make her another grandbaby. That's exactly what we were thinking about the night this one was conceived. "hmmm...we should maximize our chances at conception for MIL." Ew times 10.
post #9 of 279
First of all, this is a hysterical post:

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewMama2007 View Post
We were very vocal about only wanting one child. Then DH would make and cancel vasectomy appointments...and here we are.

So we hear a lot of "was it planned?" and "were you trying?" . I think it's absolutely inappropriate but both mil and fil asked if we were trying. None. Of. Your. Freaking. Business. Icky. What am I supposed to say to that? "Nope, we just like having unprotected sex." "Your son kept canceling his snip-snip appointments." "We thought we would mess with you."

Also, MIL said that she was so glad we decided to make her another grandbaby. That's exactly what we were thinking about the night this one was conceived. "hmmm...we should maximize our chances at conception for MIL." Ew times 10.

We're telling the ILs today so I'll come back and edit my response later.
post #10 of 279
i don't have any yet, but I am subbing this thread.
post #11 of 279
"So do you want a girl this time?"

I have one son, and sure I'd like a girl someday, but um.. what's with people asking that. I'd be happy with another son or a daughter. I'm annoyed that everyone assumes I want a girl.
post #12 of 279
I was told a week ago that someone thought I was pregnant because of my forehead.

Apparently he met glowing, but I found that hilarious.

So far no weird comments on homebirthing, but the people who know have known about my interest in homebirth for a long time.

oh, another good one, we mentioned something about co-sleeping to a friend, who promptly said that the kid needs to get out of the bed soon or it never will. Keep in mind she's DH's friend, and DH co-slept till 3.5. And, for the record, he's one of the most well-adjusted, independent people I've ever met. He even went off to boarding school for high school! "never get out of the bed" my butt!
post #13 of 279
This week I told someone at my son's preschool... since my belly is starting to look big enough that people are going to start to wonder.... and I got "wow you're going to have 4 kids" the 4 was said with raised eyebrows and the sort of emphasis that could be construed as disapproval.
post #14 of 279
I've been asked if I was happy about it, and if it was planned and what we wanted.

My boss told me his wife would have died if she had had a midwife in the hospital instead of an OB. Also, when I told them we were looking for a midwife, his wife said "Oh, just tell me you aren't having it at home. I don't want to have to worry" (Yeah, because I do everything for the comfort of others. They think I'm having a hospital birth)

A friend in our neighborhood has been giving me all kinds of advice- telling me that my ms will get worse at 9/10 weeks because it did for her, telling me kids are expensive and formula and bottles and diapers and baby food and all that stuff costs sooo much, asking if I take expecta and when I said no, I take clo, she said well, expecta has dha in it and it's good for the baby. She's also asked at least 4 times in a 3 day period how far along I am. And last night we watched a movie at their house and talked about how crappy I'm feeling, and then she asked dh today if I was feeling sick yet. Can she just not remember?

Can't wait to hear the comments from everyone when I'm nursing, cloth diapering, homebirthing etc.
post #15 of 279
Yeah, formula fed, sposie diapered, commercial baby food eating kids ARE expensive.

Get used to all the comments... you'll get so much unsolicited advice as a first time mom. Wow, I'm glad I'm past that stage.
post #16 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by because View Post
We're telling the ILs today so I'll come back and edit my response later.
I'm waiting! :
post #17 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2j&t View Post
This week I told someone at my son's preschool... since my belly is starting to look big enough that people are going to start to wonder.... and I got "wow you're going to have 4 kids" the 4 was said with raised eyebrows and the sort of emphasis that could be construed as disapproval.
and the best response to that is... Well, I'm amazed that you can count to four.



*****
We announced the news at church today. The best one I got was, "Were you surprised?" and I said, "Not at all! We were trying!" So she said, "I'm not going to ask you how many times you practiced." I think she was trying to be funny, so I just didn't hold back..... and I said, "Well, we tried for two months, but we're going to keep practicing just to be sure we still remember."

That shut her up.
post #18 of 279
lmao

What is wrong with people? lol I mean, I know they mean well (allegedly)...but geez. lol

So far I've had two people assume I was having a c-sec again because I had had one. "Don't you always have to have c-secs now?" Uhhhhno.

People have been generally nice. Especially my inlaws and that whole side of the family.
post #19 of 279
I have had some VERY interesting responses when people have found out we have a surrogate. Such lovely, tactful questions as:

1. How much does that cost?
2. Aren't you afraid she is going to keep the baby?
3. Did your husband have to have sex with her?
4. Well AT LEAST your husband will be related to the baby.
5. Is the baby going to be yours?
6. I don't know if I like the sounds of this ...

All of which were greeted with an incredulous stare and a "Why would you ask/say that?". Ahhhh good times!
post #20 of 279
Ah, Critty, I get many of the same (only opposite) questions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Critty View Post
1. How much does that cost?
I get the reverse of that: "Oh, don't you make A LOT of money for that?" and then throw out some incredibly ridiculous amount (like $100,000!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Critty View Post
3. Did your husband have to have sex with her?
This is the very first question I get asked when I explain that it's my egg and the IF's sperm-because having sex is apparently the ONLY way you get pregnant.

Hopefully you won't get the incredibly rude and totally thoughtless comment my last IM got of "Well, why don't you just have a baby yourself?" Grrr, are people really that insensitive?
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